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Adoption
**Wendy**
I'm super excited for your meeting this weekend with the birthfamily! Did you decide what to make/give the birthmother?
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Re: **Wendy**
Well, I'm thinking maybe the handprint/footprint idea. When Zoe was born we actually received 2 little kits -- you use the little pink stamp pad, do the prints, and then frame them in these cute pink frames that came with the kit. We used one, and we printed her footprints/handprints multiple times. So I'm thinking maybe I'll use that. I had wanted to do something like that at Christmas -- like a handprint on an ornament - but it just didn't work out. I had bought clay that was supposed to work well, and it didn't.
We also made a CD of some short videos of Zoe -- in her doorway jumper, rolling around on her playmat, playing with her zoo toy, giggling....I hope she likes it. We picked out our favorites.
I thought about a picture, too, but we just sent about 30 pictures or so to her last Thursday. Zoe's coming up on 6 months so we were due to send a letter/pictures. We're only required to send 6, but I had asked her birthmom if it was okay to send more. I'm a picture-aholic!
Do you have any other suggestions? Am I on the right track? I just want it to go well and I'm very excited for them to see Zoe in person. I think her birthmom will come with her mom and possibly her dad/brother. We figured we'll get pizza for lunch and keep it kind of low-key. What do you think? What else should I do?
Oh, that's such a nice idea to do it at milestone ages. We take Zoe's picture with her teddy bear at each milestone point -
Her birthmother has the same bear (we gave her one at the hospital.) You might have already seen the pictures because I post them on my blog. I never thought to do the footprints/handprints each time, though -- that's a great idea!
Have you had visits with your daughter's birthmom/birthparents? I think you have if I'm remembering right from other posts. How have the visits been?
We see them all the time -- she only lives about 20 minutes from us and we shop at the same Walmart/Target.
She and her children also spent Christmas with us. We go to baseball games and school plays and such for her children, so we see them pretty frequently. I would say "scheduled" at least once a month, probably more as it warms up (I know her kids will want to come over to our house and swim). And unscheduled just running into each other in the community a couple of times a month.
Visits are always fun/great -- but we also spent months and months with her pre-birth, and those were stressful for everybody, so these are just fun and amazing to all of us.
We take the pictures too, but she doesn't want any of those. Just pictures from when we are together. Her concern is making sure her other children don't feel like they are less important if she keeps a "shrine" of pictures to Payton. We respect that, so whenever we're together I make sure I get lots of pictures of her with Payton, Payton alone or with us, and with her siblings (birthmother's other children) and get copies to her promptly. That's the best way I know to honor her and her wishes AND still make sure she has pictures (which I feel strongly about).
That's wonderful that you live so close to your daughter's birthmom! Zoe's birthmom lives almost 2 hours away. Not super far, but still kind of far. That's nice that you spent Christmas with her, too. We tried to work it out with Zoe's birthmom around Christmas (even on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day) but it didn't work out with her family's schedule.
I get that she wouldn't want to upset her other children with lots and lots of pics of just Payton. It's nice that you're still able to send her pictures, though, with everyone in the family. I love that.
Thank you so much for starting this post. I've been kind of nervous for the past few days (nervous but really excited, too, you know?) It's nice that you thought to ask me how it was all going. Thanks
You're welcome! I do read your blog...just too lazy to click through Google Reader to comment.
Let us know how it goes!