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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Thinking about EPing, or switching to formula...
LO isn't doing so well EBFing these days...He isn't able to regulate how fast he's drinking and he ends up drinking too fast and then ends up spitting up a ton afterward. I've tried many, many different things to try to help him, but nothing seems to be the be all end all. We fed him a bottle of BM the other night and even though it took probably double the time for him to eat it, he kept it all down and seemed to do better with it. BFing has just been starting to feel like a huge burden and is stressing me out more and more everday for the above reason and for many other reasons, mainly selfish ones, and I just don't know what to do. I know if I stop I'll feel guilty, but I just feel like life would be so much easier if it didn't revolve around my boobs!!! I don't know what to do.
So, if you made the decision to stop early on, how did you deal with the guilt? Are you glad you stopped? Or do you wish you didn't?
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Re: Thinking about EPing, or switching to formula...
First off, you shouldn't feel guilty. You have given him the best two weeks. Think of all the positives to what you have done.
That being said, if you want to quit because of the choking then there are several things you can try. (I read that you tried some things, so I am sorry if these are redundant.)
1. Try raising Lo to a more sitting position when nursing. This will keep the BM from pooling in his mouth, and help the choking.
2. Try to hand express before putting LO to the breast. If you have a super fast let down he might be choking on the shear force. If you can let down before he is there then it should slow down the flow a bit.
3. You can try to stop and burp him every few minutes.
4. Don't wait until he is starving. If he is over hungry he will suck aggressively which might be causing the choking.
Whatever decision you make, you should understand that it isn't how your LO is fed, but that he is fed and happy.
Around 2-4 weeks, I was so close to quitting, and I am a HUGE proponent of BFing. I had lots of challenges with my first, but persevered for 16 months. With this LO, I was literally afraid of the guilt I would feel later if I quit, but I was in tears everyday of BFing, and I was losing DH's support because he didn't want to see me stressed out that way. I know what you mean that it feels like everything revolves around your boobs. It can be all-consuming.
I just told myself I dould give it until 6 weeks, because everyone, even those with problems, seems to have it figured out by then. I decided that point, if I absolutely couldn't take it anymore, I would EP and see how long I could d that before quitting altogether. But,magically at 4 weeks, it just clicked. DS BF's like a champ, and it is so easy. He also takes a bottle well (he actually took a bottle first -- had to supplement early on with EBM and he developed a preference for the bottle, so that was our big BFing challenge). So now we can easily BF or pump when it's more convenient.
I know that's not exactly what you were asking, since you were wanting to hear from people who stopped. But setting short-term goals really helped me. I think you are so close to the point that it all comes together. Most people quit around 2-3 weeks, because they are so tired of trying to make it happen, and worried that it never will. But success could be just around the corner! GL whatever you decide. There is nothing wrong with deciding to EP or FF, if that's what makes you a happier mommy and allows you to enjoy this time with your LO. But you might be surprised that, if you can get to 4 weeks, or even 5, it may suddenly become so much easier.
I haven't stopped completely but I now do a 50/50 split between formula and BM as I get ready to go back to work. I was an EP'er. Pumping was the best solution for me because my DD was getting BM and I was less stressed out and had more free time to do things like actually play with DD. The important thing is that you find what is right for YOU. You aren't doing your LO any favors if you're all stressed out. Take some of the tips listed in the pp(s), see what works for you. If, at the end of the day, you decide to switch to formula, you aren't a bad mother and you shouldn't feel guilty. As long as you're taking care of your LO...you're doing just fine.
GL!
I agree. I was stressed out BFing and my LO would take forever to feed. I would spend 50 minutes feeding her and then would have to pump after because she wasn't draining me. I rather spend that time with her other ways and enjoying it! I EP and it works for me and our family. DH gets to feed her and help out and he loves that (plus he was getting frustrated watching me be frustrated).
Whatever you decide, make sure it's best for you and your family. LO will be happier if you're happier. Good luck.
Good Luck with whatever decision you make! There is absolute no reason to feel guilty, either way you are feeding your baby. Do whatever you makes you and your family happiest.
With that said, what do you really want to do? If you really want to breastfeed for the long haul, give it some time. If you think that you can be okay with formula or pumping, it's fine to wean. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.
I formula fed Olivia after 5 weeks and it was a good decision for our family. With Natalie, I formula fed her almost right off the bat (started out trying, but after she ended up in NICU for an extended period of time, I formula fed her - best for my sanity under those circumstances). Both girls are happy and healthy. Of course, it's hard not to feel a bit of guilt especially knowing what we are "supposed" to do as mothers, but what helped me overcome the guilt was realizing that my babies are just as healthy, intelligent, happy as their breastfed counterparts and that I have nothing to be ashamed of in feeding my baby this way.
I think its natural to feel guilty. "Mommy's milk is best" is what we all hear. But sometimes BF doesn't work out for everyone. EPing is NOT for the faint of heart. It is time consuming at first (at least it was for me) and I struggle every day trying to decide how long I can keep this up. (I go back to work in 6 weeks.)
That being said, my LO has been on formula and BM since week 2 and she's had no issues other than us switching to a gentler formula which has worked out great.
Good luck with your decision. I think it is normal to feel guilty but once you see how much your LO is thriving, all that guilt will go away.