Didn't know where else this belonged...

JaysonandKristin

I just need to get this out of my system, and I didn't know which board this was appropriate for...  

My DH and I don't have sex anymore.  We haven't had sex since, like, Christmas time.  While my son was in the NICU for 21 days during January and DH stayed off of work for LO, he was in the mood all the time.  So we fooled around in his favor here and there (never broke dr's orders).  Now, he's back to work and exhausted all the time, and can't find himself in the mood EVER.  I have been in the mood plenty in the past month, but he's not.  

I now find myself in this position:  I've wanted it for so long and been denied for so long that I no longer want it anymore.  It's like the lesson I tried to teach my 22 yo sister when her long-term relationship ended, why would you want someone who doesn't want you back?    

DH and I made promises to each other when we decided to get married that we would never let a problem go on so long that it ruined our relationship.  It was like this all the time before LO arrived as well - it's been like this for at least 2 years (we have good sex sporadically, but never enough to satisfy me).   The issue is exhausted, I'm so tired of discussing it.  He's offered to see a doctor to see what's wrong with him because he's not even 30 years old yet.  

I just feel so asexual, and I'm starting to feel like it's his fault.  I'm tired of crying and feeling so resentful towards my best friend.

Thanks for letting me get this out.    

*speedracer*

you're not alone.  i am in your DH's shoes, i just have zero interest.  it sucks because i know he wants it and we've talked about it and he just hasn't done anything on his side to help me get in the mood, and every time he makes a passive aggressive comment about it, it turns me off even more.  our last time was around new years.  i think it's really hard to get back in the saddle if you haven't done it in a long time, it feels weird to initiate.  have you guys tried to schedule a date night and some post-date loving?  i think we need to do that too.