Parenting after a Loss

Questions from a New Mom

Hi girls! I am adjusting to Mommy hood which has been exhausting and amazing. Unfortunately the one downside has been the fact that I have not gotten breast milk in and I wanted to breast feed Madeline. She looks for my breast every time and latches on great and its so sad. I have had to give her formula to make sure she is getting food. So my first question is..anyone else having to give formula? I am giving her Similac Infant Advanced but I dont think its agreeing with her and she is getting very burpy after it. I feel horrible during feeding time. 2. She seems to have her days and nights mixed up. I try to wake her up during the day but its not going so well. Any suggestions or is too soon to try to get her on a schedule? Any other tips you'd like to share in general about the first weeks? TIA
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Re: Questions from a New Mom

  • Hey Maggie! Glad you're enjoying your little girl, it's amazing, isn't it?  Smile I didn't like BFing so I decided to pump only as soon as I got home from the hospital, so we have been supplementing with formula from then on. He seems to do fine with it and hasn't had any issues with getting both, never spits up and is a great burper. I use the Similac Advanced as well, but did put him on the Sensitive for awhile when I thought he might be having gas issues. You might give that kind a try, or you might have to experiment with other kinds - some babies do well on one and others do well on another kind. But don't feel guilty that you have to give her formula, you're doing your best and she will be fine no matter which she gets.

    My little guy didn't know his days or nights the first couple of weeks either, but it did get a lot better after about 2 weeks I'd say. He still woke up several times a night to eat, but he would at least sleep in 2 hour stretches after those first 2ish weeks. I'm very lucky, he figured out STTN pretty early on (around 7 or 8 weeks) but lots of babies take longer than that to really STTN, but it should get a lot better for you soon. You'll find once she starts eating more at each feeding that she'll sleep better at night.

    Hope that helps a bit!

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  • Congratulations!!  She is beautiful!!! 

    Don't worry about getting her on a schedule, it's way too soon, unfortunately, they will sleep when they sleep and be awake when they are awake, and they tend to sleep A LOT the first 2 weeks anyways. 

    What DH and I did to try to establish day and night, is that during the day we would open up all the blinds, make sure there was natural sunlight coming in or keep the lights turned on.  Then at nighttime, we would close all the curtains, keep the lights turned low, and speak in softer voices.  We would also change him into a sleeper outfit as well. 

    Hope this helps.  I am BFing, so I can't help with the formula, but good luck and I hope your milk comes in real soon!

    Our little angel went to heaven at 6w3d Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I can't help you with the first question, but we definitely had the second problem.  I was advised not to try to change her schedule (remember the maxim, "Never wake a sleeping baby").  The good news is that she slowly got her days and nights back in the right place after six weeks or so.  My dr had a lot of suggestions, including "being boring" at night - not rocking her or singing to her, not turning on the light for feeding, etc. I tried all that but it didn't help - if she was awake, she was awake.  We watched a lot of 2 a.m. cable (for what we pay, there should be more on at that time!) and I tried to get naps in during the day.  Hang in there!
  • I'm sorry your milk hasn't come in yet. If you still want to try to BF, keep trying to get her to latch or keep pumping at regular intervals around the clock so that it stimulates production. Maybe try pumping while your DH feeds a bottle of formula. Or after she has a bottle, let her latch on for a little while. Maybe you can try seeing an LC and see if they can help you.

    As for the days and nights thing.  This may be the opposite of what everyone says to do but it worked for us.  Babies tend to close their eyes when it's bright because they're used to being in the darkness of the womb and the light is bright on their little eyes.  So when we went to bed, we'd turn the lamp on on my nightstand which is next to where the bassinet is.  So he'd tend to close his eyes when we put him down there.  We weren't like shining the light in his eyes or anything but it was enough that he would want to close his eyes.  He had his days and nights straightened out by about 2 weeks.  Maybe the light thing had nothing to do with it, but I think it might have actually helped.  Now that he has it figured out, we can sleep in the dark again without any problems.  He is awake most of the day now with the exception of a few naps and will sleep for 2-4 hours at a time at night and goes right back to sleep after his nighttime feedings.

    Good luck with everything!

  • Congratulations; she is beautiful!  Unfortunately it will probably be a while before she is on any type of schedule, so you sort of just have to go with it. Just remember in the wee hours of the morning that it DOES get easier!
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  • She is gorgeous!

    It took Dylan at least 2-3 weeks to get his days and nights straight. Even then, all that meant is that he was slightly more awake during the day and slightly more asleep at night. But he still woke and ate every 3 hours or so until the 5-6 week mark. It's exhausting but it will pass before you know it and everyone will get better sleep soon.  Hang in there.  What helped with us is that we dimmed lights, turned down volume, etc. at "nighttime" and tried to use soft voices and be less stimulating. During the day we kept full volume, lights on, open windows, etc. even when he was napping. I'm not sure any of this really helped. Newborns just like to sleep and seem to only be awake for short periods of time in the middle of the night for some horrible reason. ;)  It was our least favorite part of this journey and now that he's almost 4 months old, it seems like it passed in a blink of an eye. But in reality, it was hard for that first month. So really, keep telling yourself that it is so much better by 6 weeks. Truely.

    And with the formula, we started with Simulac Advanced. It did not agree with Dylan. He was very gassy on it. We switched to Simulac Sensitive and it was also not a good match for him. He stayed gassy and was so gassy he'd be in pain without mylicon. So we switched to Baby's Only Organic and he is a different baby. He loves it and is not gassy at all. So talk to your pedi about switching if you want or just switch around. It takes a few formulas before you find the best one for your LO.

    After 2 m/cs, dx October 2008 with hetero factor v leiden & mthfr & low progesterone; third time was the charm - BFP 3/19/09 on first cycle of clomid. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageMrsGhappilyeverafter:

    I'm sorry your milk hasn't come in yet. If you still want to try to BF, keep trying to get her to latch or keep pumping at regular intervals around the clock so that it stimulates production. Maybe try pumping while your DH feeds a bottle of formula. Or after she has a bottle, let her latch on for a little while. Maybe you can try seeing an LC and see if they can help you.

    This is what I was going to say.  I can't help much with either question but I do agree that it's hard to have a schedule this early. I guess I'm not much help and I really just wanted to respond to tell you how beautiful she is!!  Congrats!

    DD is on her way to 2! Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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