Sharing a hotel room with your FIL?!

EEachen

YUCK!!! DH and I are taking a trip down to Texas to see his son, here in a few weeks. DH and his father used to live in Texas together, and his dad would like to go down with us. Which would not be an issue, but he is seriously broke, like goes to the food bank broke. I'm not making a joke of it, but he can't afford food or a hotel room of his own. I am absolutely against sharing a hotel room, but DH would like him to go to help drive and so they can reminisce. I wouldn't be apposed to breaking down and paying for FIL hotel room except the reason he has no money is because he is dependent of Crack Cocaine. Also, I'm poop shy I could never poop with him in the room, and how would I explain temping? It's just a mess, I don't want to make a big deal of it but I think it's really weird to share a hotel room with your FIL?!

jkflood24

wow, im with you on this one!!!

and your cockers are ADORABLE. I have one that is parti colored as well, black and white face with caramel eyebrows....<3

Kristi221

I agree it would be really awkward. But at least DH will be there with you, so it won't be just you and your FIL. I'm sure that doesn't help too much though..sorry...

 Also...

EEachen:

how would I explain temping?

I have this same concern for my trip to CA in April for my cousin's wedding. DH isn't going (tix are really expensive, plus hotels, etc.) so I'm sharing a room with my parents. They know we are TTC and I've talked to my mom about temping. But to temp with my dad in the room? I dunno...I know it's the same as taking my temp if I'm sick, but the reason behind the temping is much more intimate so it weirds me out a little.

Milliways

FIL: Mormon that thinks everyone should be.

Me and DH: Not and will never be.

We don't do good in small spaces together, so no, never, I would sleep in my car, on the ground, under a bridge. Seriously.

cutebride73

I don't want this to come across the wrong way, but if he is really addicted to crack - what is he going to do on the trip?  Will he bring it along?  Get some there?  Be in withdrawal?  I think that could be a bad situation.  Plus, if he did have drugs on him and you guys got pulled over for any reason that could be bad for your DH seeing his son.  I believe you said your DH hasn't really seen his son much, so I would just think that it would be better that just the two of you go.

If he wants to spend time with his dad, which I totally get - that's his dad, it would be better to do that at another time.  JMO

EEachen

jkflood24:

wow, im with you on this one!!!

and your cockers are ADORABLE. I have one that is parti colored as well, black and white face with caramel eyebrows....<3

Thank you! I am in puppy love. You  need to put up some pics of yours! 

jkflood24

EEachen:

jkflood24:

wow, im with you on this one!!!

and your cockers are ADORABLE. I have one that is parti colored as well, black and white face with caramel eyebrows....<3

Thank you! I am in puppy love. You  need to put up some pics of yours! 

i know, i know! i was just thinking the same thing. do i have to go back to my ancient myspace days to code it into my siggy??

TheQuietGrrrl

Reminiscing, fine.  But I'd highly recommend finding the extra $$$ for the extra room for FIL, fair or not financially.  Sometimes you just do what you need to for your own comfort, privacy, and well being and your DH's desire to forge that connection with his father.

EEachen

LovedByHim316:

Aside from the whole FIL thing...I would never sleep in a room with anyone addicted to crack cocaine.

Edit: Didn't mean for that to come across as snarky. A former boyfriend of mine was a drug addict and it's just not worth putting yourself at risk near someone that unstable. I truly with the best for him & a recovery in the near future.

I didn't think it was snarky. I understand that his addiction causes him to do many immoral things, however you would never know he is an addict. He doesn't come across as one and he is very sweet and kind, he just has a problem. I hope one day he is able to kick the habit, but I don't see it happening. On the other hand, I can't resist the cheap labor he offers....I know I'm probably helping his addiction in this aspect as well but come on he cuts my dogs hair, mows the lawn, paints rooms,  for $10.00 for each chore.

illinigal

If you got a room with 2 beds 4 feet away from each other, then yes, I think it's weird.  If you could get a nicer hotel room (2 room suite) where the beds are in separate rooms and maybe even 2 bathrooms, then I would have no problem with it... then again, I've never done it, but I would with separate bedrooms. 

ETA:  Sorry, I kind of ignored the drug addict part of this post... I don't really know how to relate.  I was just thinking about my parents or ILs.

EEachen

jkflood24:

EEachen:

jkflood24:

wow, im with you on this one!!!

and your cockers are ADORABLE. I have one that is parti colored as well, black and white face with caramel eyebrows....<3

Thank you! I am in puppy love. You  need to put up some pics of yours! 

i know, i know! i was just thinking the same thing. do i have to go back to my ancient myspace days to code it into my siggy??

I think this is actually from Kdodge's blog...I googled it and this is what I found, because it's been awhile:

Pictures
you will need to put the picture you want on Photobucket or something like that for your siggy.then you will need to put it into tiny url. Siggy's don't like big urls. Then this is the code you need.

< **img width=200 src="Tiny URL here" border="1" /*** >

(with out the ***)
you can adust the width to resize the picture to a desent size. 200 seems to work good for me.

If you want to have to pictures but want one on top of the other than you need to place
between your codes.s

Estellankase

I would never ever ever ever share a room with my FIL... but mine is a total and complete a hole.  I wouldn't trust sharing a room with a drug addict either.  My father was a heroin addict and although he loved me very much until the day he died... a drug addict would do anything to score a hit.  Including taking money, valuable items, and conning his or her way into having others help them get their score.

EEachen

kdodge423:

EEachen:

LovedByHim316:

Aside from the whole FIL thing...I would never sleep in a room with anyone addicted to crack cocaine.

Edit: Didn't mean for that to come across as snarky. A former boyfriend of mine was a drug addict and it's just not worth putting yourself at risk near someone that unstable. I truly with the best for him & a recovery in the near future.

I didn't think it was snarky. I understand that his addiction causes him to do many immoral things, however you would never know he is an addict. He doesn't come across as one and he is very sweet and kind, he just has a problem. I hope one day he is able to kick the habit, but I don't see it happening. On the other hand, I can't resist the cheap labor he offers....I know I'm probably helping his addiction in this aspect as well but come on he cuts my dogs hair, mows the lawn, paints rooms,  for $10.00 for each chore.

So he still uses? Do you realize how insanely stupid it is to take along a known drug addict when your husband is going to visit his child? Or does he never want to see his child again? Because you can bet your ass this will come up in the next hearing.

The only place you should be driving the addict it to rehab. And quit giving him jobs to do- you know damn well what he is doing with the money. All you are doing in enabling him.

 

The situation is long and confusing, but yes FIL is a current user. I know I shouldn't have him do the chores etc. I just feel so horrible for him when he can't pay for this or that, and usually when he does I'll go down with him and pay the bill with him and he works off the money.

As far as the custody issue, I can't even begin to describe the train wreck that already exists.  But FIL isn't exactly a "known" drug user, he has never been arrested etc. but people who are close to him know he uses. Although he insists he no longer does. Either way I think it is definitely something to bring up to DH.

jkflood24

EEachen:

jkflood24:

EEachen:

jkflood24:

wow, im with you on this one!!!

and your cockers are ADORABLE. I have one that is parti colored as well, black and white face with caramel eyebrows....<3

Thank you! I am in puppy love. You  need to put up some pics of yours! 

i know, i know! i was just thinking the same thing. do i have to go back to my ancient myspace days to code it into my siggy??

I think this is actually from Kdodge's blog...I googled it and this is what I found, because it's been awhile:

Pictures
you will need to put the picture you want on Photobucket or something like that for your siggy.then you will need to put it into tiny url. Siggy's don't like big urls. Then this is the code you need.

< **img width=200 src="Tiny URL here" border="1" /*** >

(with out the ***)
you can adust the width to resize the picture to a desent size. 200 seems to work good for me.

If you want to have to pictures but want one on top of the other than you need to place
between your codes.s

hmmm....ok, thanks! i'm working on it. I'll page you when i think i got it haha

lattelady2

I think you need to have a serious discussion with YH regarding this matter. It doesn't seem like either of you are really considering what could happen if your FIL gets caught on this road trip. Even though he might not be a "known" user and never been arrested, he always could be. He could binge during the trip, and then what? IMHO, I think you should leave the FIL behind, and really get him involved in some sort of rehab process. He needs to know that it is NOT okay for him to be using. If/When you get pregnant and have a baby, are you going to allow this man to be around your child?

I don't mean to come off as a b!tch, but it just doesn't seem like you guys are taking this seriously, and I want you guys to be safe.