Is this normal?

JstnJL

I gave birth to an amazing little boy in August who had a rare birth defect (bladder inside out on the outside of his body)  I had been told throughout the pregnancy that my baby was fine and was assured that we were having a little girl.  We named her "Emma" and had this whole life planned for her.

 I was blindsided at the birth to find out that I had a sick son.  Not at all what I had expected.  I really feel like I lost "Emma", that she died.  Don't get me wrong, I love my son with all of my heart and would not trade him for anything in the world.  But is it normal to feel this way? I finally got rid of the last of all of my little girl things and the realization that "Emma" was gone really hurt. 

I have had a rough time with my son's illness; he has gone through 8 surgeries so far, several more planned.  I am not on any type of medication, but am doing counseling with my preacher.  I have just felt down for the past several weeks.  Are my feelings normal? I would appreciate any help!

jaime5121

I cannot imagine what you are going through.  I'm glad to hear that you are talking to your preacher about what you are going through, but it might help to speak to a "professional" too.  I'm sure what you are feeling is normal - there are just a lot of emotions you have to deal with along with taking care of an amazing and sick child.  Lots of thoughts, prayers and hugs to you both!

Gina418

You were thrown 2 curve balls one right after the other - I have to imagine that what you're feeling is normal. I'm glad you're talking with someone, but I agree with PP, maybe you should also see a professional therapist.

GL to you - and your son, I hope his surgeries go well.