Used Items - Vent

Ohio_Wedding

my DH has a family member who has a toddler and is basically offering to give us a ton of hand-me-down baby stuff.  DH thinks it is the greatest, now we don't need anything, etc.  i'm not sure i want ALL hand-me-down stuff.  i keep telling him that for things like carseats, strollers, etc., there might be safety reasons to buy new.  he won't listen at all and it is driving me crazy.  just venting.

JJ1973

I'm in a similar situation and we've already collected all the crap. My husband is entirely geeked about it, and has already attributed all of my concerns re: the car seat and crib to anxiety (not reason). We do know the person who gave us these things well, and there is nothing that has been recalled. But, the crib is one of those drop-sided ones (no plastic hardware and has never been recalled...actually a very expensive and nice crib)...I'm just kind of reluctant to use it. We've gotten into arguments over this situation.

Ohio_Wedding

glad i'm not the only one feeling this way.  it is terrible, but i almost wish the offer to use the stuff was never made and we did HAVE to buy everything since DH is treating this as a situation where we must take and use it ALL.  i'd rather just select a few of the items and be happy we don't have to buy everything.  but he just. won't. listen.

ckred27

I completely understand! My mom has my crib from when I was a baby that my grandpa handmade. Its kinda nice the whole nostalgia of it all, but its 30 years, been in an attic in pieces in an attic since then, and i have no idea if it matches current safety regulations, and we would have to paint it. But the DH INSISTS that we use it and says that im being a nutso saftey mom by worrying about regulations ect. GRRRRR

JhawkCE

I wouldn't take a used car seat, but if everything else checks out I would go for it. 

rlscheck

I get it.  Not only safety reasons, but sometimes it's just fun to have new things!  Maybe some of the stuff you can keep at a grandparent's house?  My mom is getting some hand-me-downs from my aunt so that we don't have to constantly haul large items back and forth to their place.

ATT&BTT

We got a lot of hand-me-downs too.  I am taking them all but double checking recalls & safety.  The crib we are getting I may decide that I need a new one after we get it set up.  It is older & I am not sure how safe it is.  I thank everyone that wants to help us but following my mom instincts.

Sareclark

I can understand wanting some new items, but just so you know, you can look up current safety standards.

I'd put your foot down and say that it is NOT unreasonable to worry about safety, and it is NOT just anxiety. Give him some statistics about child deaths. Let him know that it is your job, as parents, to take all precautions that are reasonable, and one of those is to make sure the crib and car seat are very safe.

Also say that you were really looking forward to select some nice unique items for the baby as part of your nesting and preparations. Try to compromise- would he let you design a nursery if you use the safe items that are donated?

You can also say it is NOT insulting to not use something unsafe. You can just say you have a particular crib or car seat picked out, or just say 'no thanks'! People will not be hurt.

Otherwise, I think it's a bit silly to be so upset about donated things. Yes, it's nice to get new things, but these things are pricey... and you can probably use that money another way. (Prenatal massage anyone?) 

llsign

i wish we had hand me downs! we live so far away from any family that its impossible to get anything to us, so we're all on our own. I'd love to not have to start from scratch! Its all so overwhelming to shop for it all.

ColieJ

llsign:

i wish we had hand me downs! we live so far away from any family that its impossible to get anything to us, so we're all on our own. I'd love to not have to start from scratch! Its all so overwhelming to shop for it all.

See I would have loved to be able to snatch my godchild's nursery furniture or my other girlfriend's furniture.  Both are using their cribs as beds now but I would have gladly bought them a new toddler bed to get the nursery furniture.  We live in CO and they both live in TX.

I guess it just depends on your preference.  The thought of getting everything new is just a little overwhelming at times.

I know if we end up with a girl, I already have TONS of clothes and both of those friends will send me their childrens clothes.  If we have a boy we will really will have to buy from scratch because I don't know anyone with a boy!

single_mama1991

i AGREE with you! use some things but NOT ALL! i would if i knew anyone with a boy! but the last boy that was born that i kno its 12! lolz so i WONT take none of that stuff! but if the hand me downs look decent i would take some! but i would most deff get a new carseat && stroller the crib? hmmm....it would have to meet the safety regulations && be in decent condition!