I feel like a terrible mom..VENT

VanessaRae9608

So as you all know Cole has had some issues with gas and reflux like many other babies on this board. Well it seems like everyday - in the middle of the day - he is SO fussy. I can barely get him to sit in his swing or bouncy seat for more than 20 min at a time and he starts SCREAMING and being held and shh'ed is the only thing to calm him. I have dealt with this pretty well so far but seriously it is getting to me and today I was really frustrated and just let him cry for about 10 min in his seat while I finished washing the floor.

There is only so much you can do in a Moby - you cant exactly bend over and wring out a mop with a 11 week old with not the best head control. I feel so guilty that I let him cry for 10 min, I picked him up IMMEDIATELY after and put him back in the Moby where he is sleeping now...

I just feel so bad that I am frustrated...I am so jealous of all you ladies that say your LO's love the seat and swing and I wish he would learn to love them too...

How do I start this?? He used to love being alone in these things til he got sick and now he is a very needy baby that needs to be held all the time.

How do I get through this and will it get better...I am in tears. I only have 2 days left at home with him and I want him to be playful and fun, not crying and miserable!

jenibeni227

Hi..I haven't posted over here in forever and usually just lurk these days because we've been so busy.  My ds also has reflux and although it is soooo much better now...we really struggled when he was around Cole's age.  Are you putting him in the seat/swing close to when he eats?  We did this because we were told to elevate him after eating but it made everything worse.  He sees a pediatric gi from CHOP and he told us that for some babies it makes things worse because it puts their bodies at such an angle that the stomach muscle that causes reflux is opened up.  We started waiting at least an hour to put him in and it made a world of difference!!! He was never able to tolerate it for long times though.  He also went through a general just wanting to be held stage at that age too.  Hang it there...it does get better...one day ds just stopped spitting up ( he still does occasionally, but not like before when we went through outfits and burp cloths like they were going out of style)...I never believed it would happen, but it did.  Big hugs!!!

VanessaRae9608

jenibeni227:

Hi..I haven't posted over here in forever and usually just lurk these days because we've been so busy.  My ds also has reflux and although it is soooo much better now...we really struggled when he was around Cole's age.  Are you putting him in the seat/swing close to when he eats?  We did this because we were told to elevate him after eating but it made everything worse.  He sees a pediatric gi from CHOP and he told us that for some babies it makes things worse because it puts their bodies at such an angle that the stomach muscle that causes reflux is opened up.  We started waiting at least an hour to put him in and it made a world of difference!!! He was never able to tolerate it for long times though.  He also went through a general just wanting to be held stage at that age too.  Hang it there...it does get better...one day ds just stopped spitting up ( he still does occasionally, but not like before when we went through outfits and burp cloths like they were going out of style)...I never believed it would happen, but it did.  Big hugs!!!

THANK YOU It is nice to hear that someone survived it long term! I try to keep him on my chest or inclined in the boppy after eating and it does seem to help with the screaming. I usually try the swing about 2 hours after a feed and he likes it for a half hour then wants out. I think he generally likes to snuggle as well so it is probably a phase.

I know I will reach a point where I wish he wanted me as much as he does now..but sometimes its alot.

Thanks for the advice!

MrsGhappilyeverafter

You're definitely not a terrible mom, Vanessa! I can't imagine how hard it's been to deal with everything you've had to go through with your little guy.  You're doing a great job.  ((HUGS))

TheEnglishgirl

you are doing a wonderful job and cole is very lucky your his mummy. i have let g cry for a few minutes too, it doesn't make us bad mummies.

tiffanylaw06

You are so not a bad mom. Being a mom is hard work and when our babies cry or get upset, we suffer right along with them.  I can relate to this post so much. I tried doing the dishes with Dylan in his bjorn once and my back killed for days. It's just not feasible to hold them nonstop.

Since Cole liked the bouncy and swing before, he'll probably eventually like them again. Also, do you have an exercisaucer or jumperoo? I found that Dylan really enjoyed that - he seems to like sitting up more than laying back or reclining. I'm sure you've tried everything, but maybe put him in the bouncy and play and sing or read or something he enjoys with him in the bouncy. And then when he's having a great time, try to get in 5 or 10 minutes of housework.  You've probably tried that and honestly, I'll just recommend that you keep trying the same stuff again and again. Eventually he'll like it. Eventually the reflux will diminish too. Hang in there. ((hugs))

Oh, and try not to worry about Monday. I cried the entire last weekend and Dylan was a fussy, fussy baby that weekend. I cried to DH that Dylan wasn't sweet my last weekend and it bummed me out even more because it wasn't as special seeming. I know it's crazy, but I think the emotions of going back to work make all the little stuff seem worse. So hang in there and know you're not alone. We're all going through this together and we'll all make it. (((Hugs)))

VanessaRae9608

Thanks for all the support girls xoxo

mh2t

I am so sorry you are having a tough time.  DD doesn't have reflux, but she was very colicky until she was about 2.5 months old ... and then she got awful eczema, so she has been very high-needs basically since birth.  You are right - the Moby only lets you get so much done.  DD hates her bouncy seat, hates her exersaucer, and will nap in her swing but doesn't like to hang out there when awake.  I can sometimes get 5-10 minutes of time when I put her on her playmat, but that's about it.  The only time I can get anything done is nap time, and then it's hard because I am so exhausted with the new pregnancy. 

Anyway, this is all to say that he's probably going to continue being needy until he feels better.  Occasionally DD has a good (read: non-itchy) eczema day, and on those days she's so much more willing to entertain herself.  Otherwise, she just needs the security of being with me and there's nothing much I can do about it.  I have to focus on making her as comfortable as possible, because that is the only thing that helps.  I don't know much about reflux, but isn't it something babies outgrow?  Hang in there and know you are not alone!