PPA? any of you have this? — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

PPA? any of you have this?

Ever since my youngest was born I have been getting panic attacks and have had awful anxiety.  ( I am seeing a therapist and taking Zoloft)  I have always  been an axious person but it has been out of control lately.  I am constantly in fear that something bad will happen. I fear for my health and the health of my boys. I obsess about it.  I feel anxious all the time.  I also have PPD and constantly feel like an emotional breakdown is on the brink.  I love my boys and husband so much but feel like a different person.  I have no motivation or energy and constantly am in a state of fear. I don't even like to leave my house. (medication has helped with this) Did any of you get anxiety after delivery as well?  If you have suffered from panic attacks, you know how terrifying they are. 

Re: PPA? any of you have this?

  • Yep, I get anxious all the time.  I try to control most of it through diet and exercise.  I hate how I feel on the meds.  It's helped a lot.
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  • yes, I get it. Panic attacks suck ass. In a big way.

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  • Yes, I have had terrible anxiety since I was a kid. I get really bad separation anxiety, and I worry about everything. I mean everything. I have been off and on, on medicine (not during pregnancy though), and I got counseling to teach me things I could do to change my thoughts.  I do not get panic attacks really though.  Once in a while I can get myself really nervous about something and I get really hot but never a full panic attack.  My anxiety always centered around something happening to someone in my family.  I never really worried about myself...but I always automatically worry about horrible things happening to my family.  Well after my dd was born it shifted all to her basically.  I worry about milestones...and all kinds of medical things possibly being wrong with her(what makes it worse is that my dad is a dr. and my mom is a nurse so I know a little more than some people...but I don't know enough...if you understand what I am saying).  Everyone in my life knows about me and my anxiety and everyone really is very helpful...including my husband.  He probably has to tell me everyday that everything is fine and not to worry.  My parents help too.  I also went on meds again after delivery...but nothing really takes it all away, counseling really helped me though.  I was taught ways of not letting myself worry, or changing my worrying thoughts.  I will tell you that it is very difficult and I understand.  I am just now getting myself to the point that I can fend off the worrying thoughts about my daughter.  My husband finally said to me the other day...God forbid anything was wrong..we will take care of it, and she is still our daughter so that is all that matters...and he is right...I am worrying, worrying, and you know what none of that worrying really matters in the long run and doesn't help anything.  I also read a blog about a little girl that is very sick with cancer...and I realized that I have a happy healthy daughter and that I should stop worrying and cherish every moment with her.  So seriously YES i know what you mean...I obsess over the stupidiest things and everyday I have to work on it.  If you want you are always welcome to Private message me. 
    DD (8/12/09), DD (2/8/11)
    BFP 12/16/14| EDD 8/19/15 |MMC 1/15/15 (9 weeks 1 day)
  • I definitely am dealing with it, and as I don't have any medical insurance I'm having trouble finding somewhere I can reasonably get help.

    My anxiety is centered around LO and SIDS is generally the top of my list, so much so that every time LO falls asleep I think he won't wake up. It's hard because even though you can try to logic your way out of it, the thoughts make you tense, distant, irritable, short of breath, etc. 

    My anxiety started during pregnancy though, and has gotten worse almost every day (though admittedly I have the occasional day where it seems like things are okay, and I might be getting over it).  Extreme anxiety is definitely an indicator of PPD, and in my opinion, the anxiety itself can lead to other feelings generally associated with PPD (like the guilt and the trouble connecting to your child and so on).

    I hope you're able to get whatever help you need. I know it can be very scary, but you don't need to live your life feeling this way. Best of luck to you.

  • I personally think that anxiety goes hand in hand with depression.  I very much struggled with this after the birth of my second son.  Sometimes when I would go out I would get a terrible fear...like what if I get into a car accident with the kids ?  I knew it was a problem when it was preventing me from going out and doing day to day activities.  I called my doc and started antidepressants and they have been helping a lot.  If you are already taking something but still having problems, you can always talk to your doc and see about making some kind of adjustment.  I hope you start feeling better soon !
  • Thanks so much for all your help.  It is awful to live in constant fear for no real rhyme or reason and panic attacks are the absolute worst.  Its good to know I am not alone, hopefully it is something we can all overcome.  Like PP I also have struggled with anxiety since childhood and it seems to have come back with a vengance.
  • I have always been a *little* anxious but when I got pregnant, I got really anxious the first few months. I thought that there was something wrong with me (health-wise). I completely turned into a hypocondriac., I always thought I had lost the baby or that something was wrong. It was bad. It lasted until second tri then was gone.

    Everything was fine until DS was 4 months old. I got hit with really bad PPA. And it was so dark and gloomy. I guess it was both anxiety and depression. I know some people say they are one in the same. I don't know. All I know is I was constantly panicked that something was wrong with me, that I has some disease or something. That was probably the darkest time in my life. And I feel like it had nothing to do with my child. I was/am/always have been happy to be a mom, felt bonded, completely adored him. And he was an easy baby and I have an amazing husband. who makes me very happy. The issue I had was coming from me and my issues.

    Long story short, I was put on anti anxiety meds and have been so much better since then. I feel like my old self.

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