marriage preparation classes? your thoughts?

BostonGayGal

We are meeting with the reverend today.  She does pre-wedding counseling (called the Prepare Program?) and wasn't sure if anyone had done it.  I know that lots of people dog it, but I am thinking about doing it. It will cost $250, and it is two 1.5 hour sessions.  That is a fair amount of money, but might be more important than wedding bouquets we will hold all of twenty minutes.

So far, talking about our concerns, relationship strengths as well as weaknesses, 'love languages' and such has been helpful.  They clarify our expectations and are helpful to relieve our anxieties.  But I am not sure what we will get out of someone else leading us through it.

*ETA - The reverend is a UU --- I suspect she may be gay and that she is married or in a long term relationship. 

Your thoughts? 

https://www.flowingforce.com/prepare_detail.htm 

SoCaliAli

We did something similar to this before we got married and really enjoyed it.  We didn't have to pay for it though.

jensneb

I would do it, it can't hurt and you'll be glad you did later down the road. Learning each others love languages is HUGE, I didn't realize so much till this past year.

mmkaye

We were required to do a premarital counseling couples all day Saturday retreat that sounds similar to that to get married in the Catholic church.  It was worthwhile to do.  Plus we got 60 bucks off our marriage license. 

Lambie.

I would totally do it.

roshybride

We did premarital counseling. I thought it was great. It forced us to talk about some stuff, that we just hadn't talked about yet.  But ours was free with the pastor who married us.

ToshaGirl

We did it. And loved it. 

**Octoberbride09**

We did it before we got married and I thought it was a good thing to do. You talk a lot about commitment, and expectations for your relationship. It's nice to get things out in the open. I certainly don't think it'll harm in any way.

blondie42107

We did a marriage prep with our church and enjoyed it.  There were about 3-4 sessions between the priest and marriage coordinator.  Then we met with a couple from the church for a program called Couple to Couple.  That was about 2hrs each visit and there were 4 visits.  It was fun and helpful.  We met with a couple, in their home with their children and talked about real life struggles and triumphs.  It was great.  I'm so glad we did it.  It didn't cost anything though.

Dee1028

I think they can be good. I would have trouble taking marriage advice from a priest or someone who has never been married though. JMHO.

Good luck.

 

TheMrs923

I think marriage prep classes in any form are beneficial.  With all of the planning and everything I think it's nice to have an opportunity to slow down and meditate on what you're truly committing to.   

lo45fd98wq32

We were going to. But in our first class with our conservative pastor, he condemned gay people to our face by telling us how he was trying to "fix" his cousin who "thought" he was gay.

DH had sold me Lutheranism by saying it was more progressive than Catholicism. I refused to ever go back. We got married in a different church, and DH still believes this guy didn't represent his church, but I can't shake it.

kittybits21

I'd totally go for it.

course, hindsight, I should've done every class at every church I could find. ; )  It can only help!

caseybuchda

Our pastor did ours before the wedding. We had about 3 sessions with him and I liked it. He brought up a lot of things that we needed to discuss, like making wills after we get married and shedding some light on other subjects that we wouldn't normally talk about unless forced to and put on the spot by our pastor haha. I felt it was worth it.

two-pink-shoes

Dee1028:

  I would have trouble taking marriage advice from a priest or someone who has never been married though. JMHO. 

They take a classes on these things in seminary, so they're not just spouting random advice.

I think it's a great idea.  We also did the Prepare program and it gave us a lot of things to think about and discuss.  It helped me not be nervous at all about marrying DH b/c I knew we were on the same page.

Dee1028

two-pink-shoes:

Dee1028:

  I would have trouble taking marriage advice from a priest or someone who has never been married though. JMHO. 

They take a classes on these things in seminary, so they're not just spouting random advice.

LMAO(at myself) I guess that makes more sense. I am not sure why I thought otherwise.