How to teach kids compassion for homeless while still being cautious?

summerbrideDC

Not sure if I worded that correctly.  Last night my friend and I took her two kids into the city to see a play.  We grabbed a quick bite to eat before heading to the theater.  

While we were in the deli, a homeless woman came in and went from table to table asking for food or money.  Some people were really rude to her and she got aggressive, was swearing, etc.  The two girls are 10 & 12 and live in a pretty small town and have never experienced anything like that, so they were understandably very scared.  

I didn't want to discourage them from expressing their feelings about it, but some of what they said was really negative and IDK, either ignorant (in the truest sense of the word) or mean-spirited. No sense of compassion or anything like that--and honestly, I don't know if compassion for less fortunate people is developmentally appropriate in tweens or what. And like I said, I get why they were freaked out and how that was a really negative experience for them. 

It was not really my place to educate the girls on the issue of homelessness and I have no idea what their mother will teach them about it, but it made me start to wonder, how will I teach Ethan about what homelessness is, why it happens and how to treat homeless people w/ dignity and compassion, but without getting taken in and giving all his money to pan-handlers.

I guess it kind of goes along w/ the idea of talking to strangers (i havne't read any of the posts, but I've seen the subject lines).   

Has anyone dealt with this yet with their kids asking about a homeless person, or anything like that? 

 

Brideofranken

I wonder how this will go down in our house- my husband is far less compassionate than I am- and I want our kids to align to my way of understanding the homeless epidemic, rather than his thinking that people can choose to "pull themselves up by their boot straps" if they so desire...

I haven't had to cross this bridge yet.

 

DevonPow

DS takes notice of the homeless people around us (he sees a lot). He hasn't asked yet, but I am sure he will soon. For now, I just do my best to model appropriate behavior for him. I don't ignore panhandlers, I look at them, smile, say something to them, etc.. He has been with me when I have purchased coffee for homeless people (I never give money but like to buy sandwiches, coffee, etc. especially when it is cold) and I briefy expained what/why I was doing it.

When he eventually asks I will explain that some people don't have homes and we all need to do our part to help those less fortunate, and how we can help. As he gets older I can go into all the details about mental illness and other factors that really affect the homeless,volunteer with me, etc.,  but when they are so little I think all we can do is talk about the basics and model good behavior.

ppants

We've donated old toys and clothes to causes before.  I also bought stuff for the Salvation Army Christmas tree this year.  I explained to them that some people don't have money to buy things for themselves.  I thought that was sufficient for 3.5 yr olds. 

summerbrideDC

mrs_sexy:

We've donated old toys and clothes to causes before.  I also bought stuff for the Salvation Army Christmas tree this year.  I explained to them that some people don't have money to buy things for themselves.  I thought that was sufficient for 3.5 yr olds. 

I definitely agree that that is sufficient for a 3.5 year old and we do the same thing.  I"m more concerned with when we're in the city and we encounter a homeless person. But yes, we do that now, too.

and I do the same thing--buy food or coffee or give leftovers to anyone asking for money.  Hopefully that will make an impression on DS as he gets older, too. 

JOEBunny

Fortunately, this won't be a problem for us, since we live 2 blocks from a homeless shelter and 1 mile from a sort of epicenter of Atlanta's homeless collective. 

I think it is important for kids to understand that many homeless, especially the long term homeless, such as the woman you describe, are mentally ill, either through addiction or other mental illness.  

We donate regularly to "our" homeless shelter, they put a list up once a month on the sign and we drop by with whatever it is they ask for.  We wave and say hello to the men when we walk by each evening, when they are outside smoking or talking.  

As a community, most people in our neighborhood do not regularly money to homeless people, so much as the shelters because it invites crime (pediafile sleeping under your porch anyone?)   There are exceptions, such as this man.

lildevil968

While we where not homeless growing up, we where extremely poor, and had to eat certain meals at the Salvation Army, or the soup kitchen. Ever since my DD was 2 years old we have taken her with us when we serve the homeless meals on weekends, and when we do it on Holidays. When she finally asked why they go there, we told her that their are people in the world who are less fortunate than us, and we sometimes need to provide something for them. She understands that part, but we also tell her that sometimes we come across people who will take advantage of her generousity, and not to give anything to them.