Prob a flame worthy post but i need to vent

#1_BadgeBunny

I LOVE my LO's but DS is soooooooo needy latley.  His reflux is getting nothing but worse.. i cant tell if he is teething ealy... he cries a lot lately either reflux or somethng else... he stopped falling a sleep on his own and now i have to hold him to make him nap... he is CONSTANTLY spitting up (he is soaked 24/7 and i go through sooo many cloths in 1 day for him that sometimes he has to wear DD PJs.  Now at night he has started waking at 4am wanting a bottle again and then wakes at 5am happy and ready to play!!! Sure he is happy at 5 am.. why not 5pm?!?!?!?

He was eating 48 oz a day and getting cereal but pedi wants us to get him in around 38 oz so i had to cut back his bottles and increase his cereal which he is LESS than happy about.  I cant say he is super pleased wth being spoon fed... so its a struggle to feed him his cereal (iv started giving it to him in his bottel at night now) Not to mention he is now on that SUPER expensive Nutramengin which he hates not that i cant blame him it STINKS!!  Feeding him is a NIGHTMARE!!!! he screams prior to eating... the second you take the bottle out of his mouth to burp him then he has a massive spit up allll over you the couch himself and the floor which stinks to high heaven then screams when his bottle is gone and it takes 10 min of trying to distract him to calm him down. 

He has small bouts of happy and playing during the day but that usually requires my full attention.  I guess where i am going with this vent session is I feel awful for DD.  DS takes up sooo much of my time that i feel like we never get fun time.  She has realy come out of her shell these last few weeks and has a smile to die for.  She is sooo good 90% of the time she plays on her own... eats pretty easily... will fall asleep on her own in her bouncy if she is tired... sleeps through the night and im talking 9:30 pm to 7:30 am.  She is such an easy baby.  I know she is too little for this to effect her but i feel like i am effecting her.  The other day i had to put DS in his PNP and just let him cry for 5 min until DH could take over b/c DD was soo happy and just wanted my attention.  My heart broke for her.   My heart breaks DS too but some times you just want to say "enough is enough kid you need to tuffen up" I know i know that is awful but you look at DD who is soooo good and its hrd to not compare and get frustrated. 

Im sorry if this makes you angry but i need to vent bc i love dd and ds verrry much but its hard to not get frustrated.  If you got this far thanks for listening... vent over.  My arm is asleep from ds sleeping on it so i need to try and put him down ugh wish me luck!!!

lnle

just wanted to say (((hugs))). It sounds so hard to have to divide your attention that way!

and I'm not a mom yet so I feel weird questioning this, but do you know why your pedi wants DS on cereal at 3 months? I thought that wasn't supposed to be started until 4-6 months. but what do I know?!? I hope the pedi can figure out the reflux thing soon.

#1_BadgeBunny

the pedi put him on 2 tbsp of rice cereal a day for his reflux not to mention formula was no longer satifying him.  He has been growing sooo fast lately that he was starving all the time.  he eats very well off the spoon for 3 months but he gets so hungry (even after a 7 oz bottle) that he doesnt have the patience for the food.  so i def think he is ready he just needs to calm down. 

our 4 mo check up is in a little over a week.. im going to demand for tests and a specialist. 

Rose.9.6.03

I know exactly how you feel.  Charlotte was a super needy baby.  She had horrible colic, acid reflux, torticollis, she never slept, and was just generally fussy.  I felt like I was tending to her all day long.  On the other hand, Evelyn was sooooo easy.  She ate well, slept well, and was generally content.

I felt so guilty about giving Charlotte so much attention and Evelyn so little.  But in the long run, I think it has made very little difference.  When they got to be toddlers, Evelyn actually ended up being the more demanding of the two - so I ended up giving her more attention at that point.  And now that they are three, I feel like my attention is equally divided between them. 

Also, hang in there with your fussy baby.  Things will get better.  Charlotte was such an unhappy infant, but now she's a very happy, adaptable, sociable child. 

Best of luck.

ErinCB

This is going to sound crazy, and I've not had experience with it personally. But, have you considered taking DS to a chiropractor? A friend of mine's son had really bad reflux and she swears that the chiropractor has pretty much cured it. It has also helped with his ear infections.

Like I said, I've never had to deal with reflux myself (or used a chiro. myself, but I'm looking into it!) but it could be worth a shot if it helps!

but ((HUGS)), you've just gotta do what you gotta do at this point and it sounds like you are. I know you feel guilty re: DD, but if she is happy and content, she's doing just fine. I know it's tough to have to "prioritize" your time by which kid is screaming the most at that moment , but sometimes that's what needs to happen. It'll all work out and both of your kiddos will be fine!

irish1114

My DS was the same exact way...God, it was awful & just reading your post made me shudder.  DS would drink a bottle every 2 hours...2.5 if we were lucky...he never slept & still has issues with sleeping.  We tried putting cereal in his bottle but it didn't work for him.

DD was a very easy baby, not the best sleeper, but better than her brother.  She would just sit in her boppy looking around while her brother would be screaming most of the day/night.

DS is such a happy toddler now, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel

macchiatto

(((HUGS))) That's not flame-worthy; it's one of the toughest parts of being a MoM! We also had one LO who was far more needy in the beginning, too. Though I'll tell you, they really have traded roles (in terms of being the easier one and the more high-maintenance) over the past 13 months so I do feel like it's somewhat evened out ... or at least 60/40 instead of 80/20 like it used to be. Hang in there. Hopefully his reflux can get under better control (has the dr tried him on a different med?) and you'll be able to spend more time with your DD soon.

Shannonlea

Just wanted to give ((((hugs))))  I always find myself getting frustrated with not spending enough time with one baby over the other, it actually makes me sad at times.  I just try to make each moment I spend with each baby as quality as I can and realize I am doing as good as I can.

Leigh71

You deserve to vent.  Feeding problems can really make a little one super fussy.  My only experience is with babies in the NICU.  And that cry is a distinct cry when their tummy is upset/hungry/reflux.

If this makes you feel any better, a nurse I used to work with called the fussy/screamers...."trash can babies".  She actually said that!. She was joking....and a sweet gal.  She had kids of her own that were very, very easy at home. Not sure why she called them that? She would always tell me, "i'm giving you the trash can baby" because I could care for the fussy ones all 12 hours and be fine with them. 

Here's the thing.  I was just working a shift, and then was able to go home/have another nurse take over.  You are a mom to both little ones, and you don't really get a break.  So ((Hugs)) for you!!

darci04

I don't think that's flame worth at all!!! I think everyone goes through the same things. The most important thing is that you are doing all you can do, which is good enough. My boys are just a couple weeks younger than yours, and I feel like I have a "high maintnence" one, and a relaxed one too. My high maintnence little guy has a pretty calm temperment, but he's the little guy that everything seems to happen to: reflux, getting a helmet, had surgery for pyloric stenosis at 4 weeks, been to the e.r. a couple times. It seems like it never ends! It does get better though. My daughter is now 18 months, and sometimes just to keep myself positive, I tell myself it will get better, it has to! I also jokingly tell people that we're in survival mode, but in all honesty it true.

Keep feeding them what you feel is right, all babies are different. I thought my boys ate a lot with 30-34 ounces! I have been giving them rice cereal in their bottles at night per my pedi's advice (which had more to do with reflux). But, it's helped them go a little longer. I don't know how much you add, but I do 1 tablespoon of cereal per 2 ounces of formula.

Just remember that things really do get better. And I've heard that they usually grow out of spitting up around 6 months, which I hope for my sake it true too: )

anna2006

Reflux is such a frustrating thing, for mom and baby.  There isn't a lot that can be done other than to wait for him to grow out of it (which he will - I promise!).

Have you tried switching medications?  If he is on zantac, try prevacid, which many studies suggest is more effective.  Nutramigen is so foul - a lot of babies will refuse to take it.  Have you already tried Alimentum or Elecare? Both are better tasting.  Another milk thickener on the market is called SimplyThick, and many babies have better success with that than rice cereal.

I think it is a matter of switching things up until you find the combination that makes life the most tolerable - nothing is going to cure the reflux (I'm sorry) other than time.  Hang in there - you are doing a GREAT job!

Temp159135562506975

if you are not already i would see a pediatric GI... not just the regular pedi --- reflux that bad needs a GI.

i'm so sorry you are having such a rough time- i know how bad reflux can be --- Gray has silent reflux (meaning he doesn't spit up but is in pain from it)... and was MISERABLE from 6-8w... I cried all day long b/c i hated having to feed them b/c he'd scream the whole time. It was the hardest 2w.... thankfully the zantac 3x's a day did the trick for him.

 

LMK8605

That is not flame worthy at all!  It is HARD sometimes, just remember many of us have or are going through the same thing.. sometimes at 5 am

DS has been doing the whole happy at 4-5am thing lately... so my days start at 4am usually.  I'm not sure if you have any babysitting options but I would maybe leave your DS with a grandparent or friend and spend a few hours with DD.  I took DD to the grocery store with me yesterday and it was so relaxing to JUST have 1, plus it gave us some one-on-one time. 

Have you considered a date with DH?  You need a break sometimes too to save your sanity!! A little break always refreshes me and makes me feel like a can handle things without stressing as much.

#1_BadgeBunny

Thank you for all the advice and HUGS!!! I think i will do like what pp said about taking DD out for a 1 on 1 and let daddy watch DS.  Unfortunately DH and I have really no baby sitter since all of our family are 3 states away.  We really need to get on some friends or find one we can hire.  

LOs have thier 4 mo check up in a week and a half DH and i are going in swinging hahaha! I realy want DS to see a GI specialist.  I know he will eventually out grow it but what if there is something else wrong?  Dh an d i were just taking about switching from the Nutramegin to Alumentum so maybe we will give that a try and it def needs to be thickened poor kid just spits what looks like water all day now!!!  He is on Prevacid 1x a day and pedi said we might up it but i do feel comfy w/ too many meds w/o doing some tests? what do you think?

anyhoo... thanks for the support and letting me know there IS a light at the end of the tunnel