since LO was born I've always felt an insane amount of stress/anxiety at the idea of taking care of him by myself, I balled when DH went to work, and still feel the same way everytime he leaves for work in the morning, I just hold back the tears...to top it off LO has AR and allergies and I feel like all he does is cry...it's either smiles or screams...he won't nap anywhere but on me and I feel trapped. We had back to back blizzards so it's been almost impossible to get out with or without LO, DH work LONG hours to provide for us and I'm lucky if I can get 20 min to myself and that is usually shower time...My mom takes him for me when she can but she lives a hour away.
To top it off now I'm dealing with a MIL whos going to go and get pissy that when she comes over at 9pm and we tell her LO is sleeping and she can't go and wake him up that we are keeping her grandson from her...seriously, I can't deal with that right now!
I constantly am worried about when Nathans next screaming fit will be and if it will be a short 30min one or a 2 hour one that leaves him and I both completely wiped out and soaked in tears!
He is on Med for his reflux and I am in constant communication with his pedi on how he's doing but I feel so helpless, like I am failing him as a mother...
I start back at work on March 1st and am crossing my fingers that I'll feel better than but I have no idea if I will or if I will just feel worse. I joke with my parents that his DCP is going to call and say come pick up your kid and find a new provider but I really am concerned that this will happen...
I feel so overwhelmed and DH does his best to help when he's home, but he works between 50-60 hours per week and not with 2 consecutive days off either.
Sorry if I'm rambling or if this makes no sense I just needed to vent and see if you all think I really do need to talk to someone about how I am feeling.
I called this morning (monday) and have an appointment to go in tomorrow morning at 9...took an online quiz and have A LOT of the symptoms...hopefully i'll get some answers!