Vent: I hate being the responsible one

uagirl

We've been working on planning a party for MIL's 50th in a few weeks. 

DH and I wrote the check for the deposit for the venue out of our account, and everyone else agreed to have their portion of it to us by a certain date.  That date has come and gone, and of course, no one has paid us anything yet.  Thankfully, DH and I are super frugal, and it doesn't put us in too tight of a spot when it comes to bills, groceries, etc, but it is still annoying.

The party is in 2 weeks, and so far DH and I are the only ones who have put any substansial work into planning it.  The place doesn't provide linens, so we've ordered linens, lemonade jars with spigots, and are going tonight to look for tableware and centerpieces. 

If I wasn't so nice and didn't love DH and his family, I would quit helping.  I'm aggrivated and frustrated, and don't have the time to be either right now.  I should help by working on this next weekend, but I've decided to book a massage instead.

 

MrsAO

That's me in my family.  I don't know how great of lengths I would go to for my DH's family because I know if I don't collect up front it'd just be money down the drain. 

I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.

kc0721

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, however I know your pain. 

My suggestion is just to stay on people.  Send out emails, call people, etc.  It's great that you and Dh are frugal and can afford to do these things w/o it affecting you guys very much, yet you don't want to be taken advantage of either.  I've been in  this situation and I finally had to put my foot down and start collecting money upfront.  Another option that I've found has worked with a bunch of people is to divide the stuff equally.  If you and DH are in charge of linens, decorations, etc, then somoene else handles all the food.  It usually works out in the end.  GL with whatever happens. 

tippykins

uagirl:

We've been working on planning a party for MIL's 50th in a few weeks. 

DH and I wrote the check for the deposit for the venue out of our account, and everyone else agreed to have their portion of it to us by a certain date.  That date has come and gone, and of course, no one has paid us anything yet.  Thankfully, DH and I are super frugal, and it doesn't put us in too tight of a spot when it comes to bills, groceries, etc, but it is still annoying.

The party is in 2 weeks, and so far DH and I are the only ones who have put any substansial work into planning it.  The place doesn't provide linens, so we've ordered linens, lemonade jars with spigots, and are going tonight to look for tableware and centerpieces. 

If I wasn't so nice and didn't love DH and his family, I would quit helping.  I'm aggrivated and frustrated, and don't have the time to be either right now.  I should help by working on this next weekend, but I've decided to book a massage instead.

 

i know you love them. but i say you quit helping. you don't deserve the stress. and it's time that her immediate fam step up. sry you are dealing with this!

star21gazer

I feel your pain but with me it's my family.  It is frustrating.  Your DH's family needs to step up..good for you booking a massage for next weekend.  Let them figure things out for a bit! 

hamillm

I'm so sorry you are dealing with such stress!  I am the type of person that I would not stop helping, but I would start getting on people for their money.  Well, if it was DH's side...I would have him start calling, etc. to collect.

((HUGS))

Leelee06

That sounds very frustrating and really sad that you're doing more work with your DH than her other children.  Hopefully they'll pay up and help you guys before the party. You definitely need that massage.  Enjoy it!

Temp206787500007404

I'd send an email to everyone telling them that the agreed upon deadline has passed, and that if you don't have the money by x-date (maybe some time next week) that you will cancel the party and attempt to get any refund on the deposit you can.

Leelee06

MrsB2007:

I'd send an email to everyone telling them that the agreed upon deadline has passed, and that if you don't have the money by x-date (maybe some time next week) that you will cancel the party and attempt to get any refund on the deposit you can.

I must say this made me smile.  You're right - sometimes beating around the bush will get you nowhere fast and you just have to be direct.  Must get better at that!