Having a hard time right now and I don't know why...

HElizabethDU

This past week I have been having a really hard time dealing with my infertility, I know this sounds stupid, I mean I thought I had delt with it.  Don't get me wrong I am so excited for adoption and I really don't care how our LO comes to us, but sometimes all this waiting from my agency makes me think about the "what ifs" again.  Is anyone else like this?  I want to be excited for my adoption, but when I know full well it could be years before our LO finds us, I have a hard time...

It really doesn't help matters that I have been surrounding with pregnancy this past week.  A friend who was about to apply for adoption found out she was pregnant. At work I am filling in for someone going on maternaty leave. Another friend with PCOS is pregnant for the second time, etc....

I am fine with others who have children, it is just when I am around pregnant women I start feeling sorry for myself, and also mad at myself that I haven't moved beyond the sting.  Does it ever go away?

Alicia_22

I'm so sorry you are having a rough week. I had one of those weeks a few weeks ago. Mine wasn't so much about infertility at all.. just the waiting I guess. I don't really have any advice but wanted to say I will be thinking about you!!! When we were in the middle of TTTC, it seemed like EVERYONE around me was getting pregnant. It was VERY difficult! Now, seeing/hearing about pregnant people doesn't bother me at all. Hopefully it will get easier for you!!! 

HElizabethDU

Thank you . 

I think it all goes back to having patience, which is somehow so hard for me in this area.  I know that I am being silly for wanting the next year or two to fly by, but then I know when I look back I will think to myself, why didn't I just enjoy that time, rather than wishing it go by so fast....

FinallyMrs.G

It's been a rough week. I'm right there with ya. It's easier said than done but just try and keep yourself busy and like you said enjoy your time. We will all look back at our wait one day and be so thankful and at times I am sure we will wish we had some of that time.   I hope and pray that your not waiting too much longer. Take care.

maurisa74

I am right there with you. Just before logging on I was thinking this wasn't really how it was supposed to be. I just thought I would marry my DH, get pregnant, and have a baby. Sometimes the waiting is so hard. I too am just ready to be a mom, to whatever LO God brings me. 

mrsdrkwaver

I know how you feel it sucks wish I had words of wisdom everyone tells me dont worry it will happen and I know that but it doesnt make it any easier. I have bad weeks to so I want you to know you are not alone at all hugs

Dr.Loretta

It happens, and it comes and goes.

I had a hard time today because I heard 2 stories about infant child abuse that made me sick, yet here we are paying all this $ in legal and counseling fees and convincing strangers that we would make good parents.

Temp206787500007404

I don't think it ever goes away.  I still have moments where I grieve my IF.  It's not because I want a child that is biologically related to me.  It's more about missing out on the pregnancy experience that comes so easily to (seemingly) everyone else...even the bad parts.  It's missing out on giving birth to a child and grieving that what God created my body to do, it is a failure at.

It gets better, much much better.  But it's never really gone.  (((HUGS)))

Art Teacher

MrsB2007:

I don't think it ever goes away.  I still have moments where I grieve my IF.  It's not because I want a child that is biologically related to me.  It's more about missing out on the pregnancy experience that comes so easily to (seemingly) everyone else...even the bad parts.  It's missing out on giving birth to a child and grieving that what God created my body to do, it is a failure at.

It gets better, much much better.  But it's never really gone.  (((HUGS)))

I agree with Mrs.B.  I have still had moments grieving the loss of having a pregnancy.  I'm very happy that we've created our family through adoption; I just had always pictured being pregnant at some point as well.  I've had a lot of reminders of that lately as well.  It does get better, but I think it takes time.  I definitely don't feel the same way I did a year ago.

StepanovR

I sympathize with you...My sister just found out that she is PG with her third child and she was diagnosed as infertile due to PCOS. I'm trying to be happy for her, but its still really hard.  I think it will be easier once we're matched with our LO's.

LadyRed7

i am so sorry you are having a bad week. I have those moments too and like you, i'm SUPER excited for our baby to find us. However, it doesn't take away from how stinking long and hard this process is and everyone around me can rumble in the sheets and have their baby.

 

Shell&Rich

I feel the same way at times. It goes back and forth. I think because it's such a natural thing for a women to want, it will never completely go away. I try to remind myself of the positive things when I feel down but sometimes you just need to grieve your infertility. I hope one day we can find peace with it.