How much did/does age factor in your TTC decisions?

shouldbworkin

I'll be 36 this year. Not old, but I can't deny the stats on egg quality, etc.  We've been TTC for 2 mos with no luck, which is totally normal.  But, I feel like I was much more fertile the first 2 times around.  I've been very fortunate to have had 2 healthy PGs with no complications, so I feel like I might be tempting fate here.  And, while I was not ready to TTC #3 until recently, I'm now kind of regretting that decision when I look at the future time line if TTC takes awhile or we suffer a loss. 

I've had some big changes at work lately (had another job offer, ended up not taking it, got a big raise/promotion to stay) and feel like my employers might not look to favorably upon me becoming PG right now.  OTOH, I feel like saying "screw it."  Time is of the essence, I can't wait for the perfect time, my kids are just getting older, etc. 

So, I guess I'm just curious if this is a normal concern/quandry?  How much did age factor into your TTC plans, if at all?

*Beetlebum*

I don't feel it's that big of an issue. I got pg after TTC for 5 months this past November, and it ended in m/c in Dec. I was 10 weeks along and the fetus stopped growing at 6 weeks. It sucks that now I have to wait out another cycle and then start TTC all over again, but I feel like you are only as old as you feel and if you feel up to another baby, why not? I have plenty of friends who are just pg the first time around at age 38, all a state of mind I think. Good luck to you.

chickaboo1974

I don't think being 36 is all that of a problem (coming from someone who will be 36 this year..lol) .  What factored more into my decision was my DH's age lol.  He is 10 years older than I am and did not want to wait any longer.  Plus I do have PCOS and now I just learned today that I have a small pitiutary tumor causing hyperprolactinemia.  So all things considered we decided to get serious about TTC last year.  We are set to start our first IVF cycle next Friday... so excited!

shouldbworkin

I didn't think it was a problem either, but I think my lack of hyper fertility (in comparison) has given me pause and made me re-evaluate some of my assumptions about TTC #3. 

joyfulnature

Hi, Shouldb.

Age was a huge factor in starting to TTC when we did. If I were 30 instead of 40 (we started TTC when I was 39), we would have waited at least another year or so for more time as just the two of us.  But when I was 38, I started reading a lot about TTC, and that made me feel like it could be "now or never" for me, and so DH and I dove in before we were completely ready.

In hindsight, I sometimes wish we had started right after we got married, when I was 37.

I always felt like "age is just a number." I feel young. Other than being chunky, I am very healthy - great blood pressure, cholestrol level, no family history of anything, etc. etc. 

But the truth is that I just don't have that many eggs left. Don't get me wrong, I haven't given up hope!

There are MANY, MANY women who have no problems getting pregnant at an older age. But there are others, like me, whose ovarian reserve is even lower than age would predict.

My bottom line advice for anyone who is in their 30s or beyond and contemplating TTC: Ask your ob/gyn to do an antral follicle count. Counting up follicles at the beginning of your cycle will give him/her a good idea of the number of eggs you have left. 

When I was pondering the TTC decision, I had never even heard of this test. If I had, I would have started TTC much sooner.

Again, people with low ovarian reserve get pregnant all the time. But it can be harder.

Just my two cents. Good luck with your decision.

stever

I think it's  normal. We plan to TTC #2 in a few months but would probably wait a bit longer if I wasn't 36.

JoAnna914

Age has been the #1 factor in our decision to TTC now.  I will be 37 in April, and there is just something about that number that scares me.  I have no reason to believe that I will have any issues, as my doctor has told me time and again that I am healthy, but since I've not actively TRIED to get pregnant, how will I really know until I try?

Emotionally, this has been a HUGE adjustment for me.  I have not ever seen myself as a "mom," and it's not that I don't want to be one, but I've spent most of my adult life very ambivalent to parenthood.  The age factor has forced me to deal with this ambivalence.  I will be ok - but I wish I had some more time to gradually adjust to my new identity.

leffe1

I got married at 36. We waited a little over a year to try..then it took us 14 months to get pg. We had all the testing done and everything came back normal. I guess it just took us longer but it did happen. Knowing what I know now I wouldn't have waited due to my age. Good luck!

FLchicken

JoAnna9/14

It's like you just spoke my own words from not too long ago!   I totally was on the fence about parenthood till not that long ago. I kept saying I wasn't ready, nor maybe I would ever be ready.  I wanted more time too. Then the drive to be a mom just kinda kicked in. I thought we would take the TTC route slow, but sure enough we got preg on our first cycle. Being that I am 36, I was truly stunned by this news.  Excited, yes, scared, yes. Life as we know is going to be very different. But in a good way!

Haribo1

Age was the biggest factor for us. I turned 36 in January, and I never wanted to have children until late last year.  If I wasn't 36, I would have given myself more time to get used to this new feeling.  However, once DH and I realized we did want a child after all, we figured it would be best to get started ASAP since he will be 40 this year=)

shouldbworkin

JoAnna9/14:

 I will be ok - but I wish I had some more time to gradually adjust to my new identity.

You will have at least 9 months to get used to it.  ;-)  Honestly, though, the 1st one didn't change my life too much (except the lack of sleep). 

MarriedaSportsNut

I didn't get married til I was 37. We started TTC right away and here I am 2+ years later at 39 with no baby. My girlfriend had her first baby at 37 (after a long time trying) but didn't start TTC again for 3 years. At 43 she's going in for her last IUI this month and then is going to give up. She says she regrets waiting so long after her first baby to try again.

I can't think of many situations in which waiting works.

JoAnna914

shouldbworkin:

JoAnna9/14:

 I will be ok - but I wish I had some more time to gradually adjust to my new identity.

You will have at least 9 months to get used to it.  ;-)  Honestly, though, the 1st one didn't change my life too much (except the lack of sleep). 

LOL - yes, the "extra" 9 months will be very helpful in my transition.  But your comment that #1 didn't change your life too much . . . well, that just brought a tear to my eyes because that is my BIGGEST WORRY.  I'm so concerned that I will be resentful and a terribly unhappy mother.  I know this is a little projection there from my experiences as a child with my own mother.  Honestly, she gave me the greatest gift by admitting to me that she struggled as a SAHM, and this has helped me immensely in deciding what my vision of motherhood will be.

I'm still freaked out, lol.  But thank you all for the validation on my feelings - makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not the only one :-)