Upstate NY Babies

Am I wrong? (BR)

So my mom is going to be at the hospital with DH and I during L&D. (I know this is contraversial, but it's important to me that my mom be there).

I had signed DH and I up for the class in August, (they are already booked through JUNE!) and I decided to add my mom to the registration. DH is being odd about it, and I'm trying to figure out if I'm wrong in wanting my mom to take the class too. (The last kid she had was me, in 1983, and I was a terrible experience that ended almost a month late in a C-section).


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Re: Am I wrong? (BR)

  • If you want your mom to be in L&D with you, it is definitely a good idea for her to take a childbirth class..
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  • I think it is a really personal decision but can understand that your DH might want to just be the two of you.
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  • Also, it's not like your Mom is actually delivering the baby and she has already had babies so maybe your DH was hoping the class would be an experience for just the two of you.  It is all new to you and your DH but your Mom has already experienced childbirth firsthand.
  • I dunno - if my DH wanted things to be more about the two of you...I would honor that. I don't think she needs to go to the class, you could just give her the literature and she can read up on things if you want. There weren't any moms at our class.
  • I don't think she needs to go to the class because yea its been a while since she had a baby, but not much has changed :)  Your DH is the one who has never experienced labor and birth, so he may want it to be something the two of you do together.  Honestly, I think the people in the labor room just need to take direction well because you will tell them what you need and what comforts you (or doesn't).
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  • imageTelyco:
    I dunno - if my DH wanted things to be more about the two of you...I would honor that. I don't think she needs to go to the class, you could just give her the literature and she can read up on things if you want. There weren't any moms at our class.

    I agree with Telyco.  You and your DH are going into this new phase of your lives as a couple, and I think that is how the preparation class should be as well.  Not that it isn't great to have your mom in the delivery room with you, but the classes are definitely couple oriented.  And my class was pretty big and there were no other family members there. 

  • I was the same way before the birth of my LO..I wanted my mom in the room but did not invite her to the class. So, on my delivery day my mom came to the hospital and it occurred to me as we were sitting there that my husband looked really uncomfortable. When I asked him what was wring, it turned out he wanted just he and I to share our LO's birth. So, my mom waited in the waiting area with the rest of our families and it was no big deal. But, looking back, I just never though to ask him first because I didn't know it mattered to him so much.  
  • I don't think she needs to go to the class. There was one girl in my childbirth class w/ her mom, but her dh was not there. He was in the military, and was not going to be there for the birth, so her mom was her labor coach. 

  • I am planning on having my mother there for L&D, but I don't plan on her taking the class with us.  It will just be my husband and I that take the class.


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  • our hospital offered grandma & grandpa classes...check to see if your hospital offers this, if they do, maybe you two can go together.
  • My mom and MIL were in the room when G was born, but only DH and I took the classes.  It was a great experience for the two of us, and no other grandmas were there (except for one single mom that said her mom was going to be her labor partner/coach.)  I think you'll really enjoy it just being the two of you.
  • I think you should ask your DH what's bugging him and try to come to a compromise that makes both of you comfortable.
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  • I took three classes at the hospital and DH made it to all of the classes except for the second one on infant care.  He had to work so Tiffgoddess, my bff, came with me.  I really appreciate her coming with me.  If Tiff counldn't come my Mom was going to go to that class with me.  Since I am having a c-section DH and I went to that class together and it was just Moms and their husbands/partners. The only one that will be in the room with me will be DH and our families will be in the waiting room.  Friends and family will come by later to visit.  I think you should talk about it with your DH and make a decision together.  Everybody is different and some people feel comfortable with other people there.  One of our other best friends had her husband, Tiff and I think her dad was there also.  Sorry, I can't be much help on L&D b/c I won't be going that route.
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