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Multiples
How often do you and DH go on dates?
Some of my friends have NEVER left their kids with a babysitter to go on a date (let alone an overnighter!) We have left the babies with my mom (who watches them during the week) twice for an overnighter and gone on 1 date that wasn't an overnight since they have been born. We have made plans to go to a basketball tournament in Cleveland March 13 and stay overnight (leaving the twins with my brother and sis at our house) and I CAN"T WAIT!! I'm so excited.
How often do you go on dates? I feel like a bad mom because I have no issue leaving the babies with my family to have some one on one time with DH.. some of my friends would never do that!
Have you had an overnighter? Am I just eager to neglect my kids???
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Re: How often do you and DH go on dates?
Leaving your kids with their grandparents is not neglect!
We're cheap so we dont actually go out on "dates" often but we do use baby sitters. Last weekend we dropped them off at my mom's house on Sat for a few hours (and did go on a date) and then dropped them off Sunday at my dad's house so we could run a few errands.
Most weekends we dont drop them off anywhere, but when we feel like we need a break, we take one!
Definitely not neglect and definitely necessary.
We haven't been on many dates because we didn't have anyone local that we could have left the twins with before now. Now that E is off her monitor, I feel comfortable starting to look for babysitters or asking the nanny to do extra duty some night. We are going to try to do date night once a month.
We have done 2 overnights away and it has been glorious. One was for a wedding and the other was my birthday. They stayed with their grandparents.
2 chem preg, 4 failed IUIs, 2 canc IVFs, 2 BFN IVFs, IVF #5 = BFP!!!
3/23 Beta #1 @ 17dpo = 913, Beta #2 @ 19dpo = 1724, Beta #3 @ 21 dpo = 3240
First u/s 3/29 @ 5 weeks 2 days - 3 sacs 6 weeks 3 days - 3 heartbeats 8 Weeks - Lost Baby C, Babies A and B going strong
When the kids have left the house, the only ones left are you and DH. It's a good idea to nurture that relationship.
We go on dates occasionally (usually when family is in town), and we've done an overnighter here and there. We always have a good time.
I haven't done an overnighter yet. But I do take up IL's offers to watch the girls whenever they've come to visit. DH and I really appreciate a "night out" from time to time---that usually translates to dinner and a movie or just dinner but it's so nice to have that break!I look forward to our date nights!!
I think you're a BETTER mom because you take the time to recharge when you need it!
We go on dates very sporadically. We aim for once a month but it really depends on sitter availability (and somewhat on the budget); we haven't built up a large pool of sitters and we don't have any family within 600 miles. Like we went on 3 dates in May (once b/c my parents were here and once for each of our birthdays), then none till August when we went out for our anniversary, then our November date was cancelled when our sitter's DD got sick, then nothing till February and now we have 3 dates this month. I really do want to start doing them about once a month though!
Also, we finally are planning our first overnight getaway; my sister will be here for a week in July and she's going to watch the boys while we go on a 2-night getaway for our anniversary. (A month early but hey, whatever works.
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The boys are 14 months old and we have only been on 1 date by ourselves and we went out once with our friends for dinner.
Not because we don't want to - we want to, but because I can't find anyone to handle all 3 kids. I also have an almost 3 year old DD.
My good friend, whose DD will watch my kids, but only with the help of their mom says that she is amazed that I do this every single day, but it takes 3 of them to do a couple of hours.
It is really hard to get 2 teenage girls and their mother to have the same schedule.
Actually any one who offers to watch my kids (family and such) will only do it in 2's.
Don't feel guilty, you have to be able to connect with your DH outside of the kids.
We've only been out on one date since they were born and that was in November. At Christmas, we went our own ways to go shopping and left the kids with the in-laws (that will never happen again). Our thing is that we live 12-13 hours away from family and we can't find a babysitter that we know, to watch both kids. I've had several recommendations, but haven't looked into it further.