OMFG!!!!!!!

LovelyLoretta

Reeeeeeeeeeddddddddd!!!!!!! how the helL are ya?  did you go to the olympics yet?  i just LOOOOOVVVVEEE that johnny weir (i know he's american!)....he has THE BEST outfits.  and who ISN'T obsessed with RUssia????  i'm so excited to talk to you that i can't type...and oh!  you didn't interupt our threesome, i was recouping!   so, tell me the dish gurrrrllll....

HeyyRed

Hello Dahhling.

I'm looking at photographers to do a photoshoot with the gorge Luke and I'm thinking that given all the AE haters - mamma is going to need to wear a ballgown for the photosession with le bebe.

No denim and white tshirts photoshoots here.

How's Baby D? Did you end up getting the web cam porn site off the ground? I mean with the ban dodgers around here, I'm sure they can give you a crash course on Proxy Servers. I mean if you don't mind the occasional stalker right?

Loved Johnny Weir last night. Apparently, he loves to wear fur - I love fur too - and well I had a fight with someone's friend on facebook about it last night. Okay fight is over stating it. She swore at a few of us who were loving him. Some PETA member or some such thing.  Oh, maybe I should wear a fur coat for my photo session with Luke??

So who else is doing the US proud or are you rooting for your Latvian relatives? 

LovelyLoretta

oh red, you  tickle me everytime we talk.  i'm not really watching any other olympic events other than men's skating.  johnny DOES love fur.  he's real controversial that way.  a diva biitch too (his words, not mine).  there was just something about that outfit last night, maybe the hot pink lacing, i don't know.  i catch myself thinking he's hot and then not really knowing if he looks like a boy or a girl.  he's so androjeanous.  the only thing i don't like about him is that he speaks russian.  all.the.time. even last night when waiting for his scores...i think it's kind of innappropriate considering he's representing the US-you know?  i can't wait to see your photo shoot.  i hear they do AMAZING work at glamour shots (do you have that in the great north?)  they'll do you up real pretty and everything (maybe even "enhance" luke if you want a'la bkl).  my internet porn site isn't up and running.  my boyfriend said i need to lose some more baby weight.  until then i'm back at the drive in doing my car hop job...it's a great networking place.  i've met a man who said he'd love to take my pictures and that we can "arrange" payment, don't know what that means but i'm sure it'll work out in my favor...anywho, you still feeding luke the boob juice?  i know at first you had some challanges.  i've discovered that if you have a drink or two before babies night time feeding , they sleep like fricken logs...hope that helps.  ywia.

HeyyRed

I drink all the time before Luke goes to bed and it doesn't do a damn thing. Yes he's still 100% Boob Juice-a-pa-looza. He's just not that into food which is shocking to people given that he's 25lbs and has fat rings on his fat rings.

I tried to give him an apple today and he swatted it away. Maybe I should just put some scotch or shiraz into his sippy cup? Maybe that will help him sleep better at night.

I'm sorry the weight loss isn't happening fast enough. If you are going to do a photo shoot, perhaps you should get one of those ambulance chasing lawyers to draw up a contract for it? You could barter your services for his?? Your bf shouldn't mind - think if he gets arrested again, you've already pre-paid his legal bills non?

I think the Russian was just Johnny being in character. You know, like the time you were the Russian Spy in your sex game/roll playing thing. THAT was a money maker. You should TOTALLY start that racket up again. 

If the weight is slow to come off, maybe you should look into the Phone Sex thing. You could do it while the baby sleeps and such. You'd be a WAHM mom and the women on the Bump would be sooooooooo jealous. 

Cannonball14

BabyMaker...you weren't complaining when I was screaming Russian in your ear last night.

 

LovelyLoretta

Red-honestly...phone sex operator????....come on, what kind of girl do you think i am?  i walk the walk way better than i talk it.  i can't believe luke won't eat "real" food.  he's very ghandi-ish, hunger strike or something i guess.  i cannot believe he's 25 lbs (or do canadians deal in kilos?).  that shiit is crazy!  i keep forgetting to ask but...boyfriend(s) and i are looking to create a fetish type of room in the trailer and i was wondering what kind of ideas you have to offer?  it's not a huge space, only about 4X6.5'...so we don't have a ton to work with.  i'm hoping you have some ideas.  we're particularly into bondage types of scenarios.  let me know what you think.  i will pay in sexual favors (per the usual)!!!

HeyyRed

Isn't it obvious?

We'll design a Russian Bondage Den with Fur and Stainless steel animal bust heads.. we can do a whole Ice Castle Bondage theme thing.

I mean everyone does black. What if we did it all white and silver..... you could wear your stilettos with the metal heals even.

Tres chic. You know I just want to see you go glam sex goddess and rise above your Trailer Roots. You could one day own your own brothel even.

Dare to dream. 

LovelyLoretta

my own brothel!!!!  wow, i can see it now...bright lights flashing, sparkly letters spelling out:

 Loretta's Lowriders: you supply the junk and we'll put it in our trunk.

or is that too much?  good idea about the ice castle bondage theme...btw, did you seem my homage to johnny in my siggy?  you didn't even comment!

HeyyRed

I want Johnny's fur. Like SO BAD. Both of them.

I am loving the name for your brothel it rolls off the tongue perfectly. 

LovelyLoretta

HeyyRed:

I want Johnny's fur. Like SO BAD. Both of them.

I am loving the name for your brothel it rolls off the tongue perfectly. 

he looks like an awesome little russian, snuggled up warm, girly boy

Cyrbia

Just wanted to say that I've never read a thread this far through and laughed so much...EVERY.

You two crack me up. Thanks for breaking up my otherwise monotonous day.