finding out the genders?

Nikki*B

I am 14.5 weeks so we have a little time til our next u/s but we cant decide on whether or not to find out the sex of our babies.  My husband is dying to know but I think I may want the surprise at the end. It would be great to know what they are for planning the nursery and all but everyone says there is no greater surprise then finding out the day they are born. What is everyone else doing???

macchiatto

I'm in the "It's a surprise whenever you find out" camp. We found out as soon as possible and I have no regrets about that. For me, I do think it helped with bonding to know the genders before they were born, as well as planning. There are so many unknowns with twins that it's nice to know at least a few things ... plus I'm really glad DH and I didn't have to agree on FOUR sets of first and middle names before delivery! Two was hard enough!

TwoAtaTime2010

i agree with PP. since these are our 1st two children, and they were BOTH coming at once, we wanted to know what to plan for...since there is only so much you can plan for twins.
my boyfriend was so concerned that he wouldnt get a boy and there would be two girls (which would have been just fine), so watching his face when we found out baby B was a boy was priceless. i became closer with them once i found out the genders, too.

my next pregnancy, since i'll have things for a boy or a girl...i think i will make a suprise

lgurian

i couldnt stand not knowing. the same as pp have said. also i loved knowing so i could call them by their names and tell DH that M had the hiccups and J was jumping on my bladder, or whatever they were doing. plus with having to get so much stuff i cant imagine getting only yellow and green stuff. it was a surprise, just a few months earlier. plus i had a c-section too and there is so much going on and they take them away right away i cant imagine having to process that information too. but with that being said, do whatever your heart says to do! 

Hilarigh

I am clearly in the minority here but we want to be surprised. I always wanted to be surprised when I had a baby and didn't really change my mind bc it's twins. I'm hoping to have these kids naturally and have made it clear in my birth plan that I don't want them to take these babies away unless there is medical need, so I'm hopeful that we will be able to bond with them immediately.

Regarding the nursery, I'm not a baby pink or baby blue kind of gal anyway, so we painted their room a really light blue, almost sky blue. got bedding I like for a boy and a girl on my pottery barn registry and when the kids are born MIL is poised to purchase. By the time they are ready to sleep in their room, it will be ready for them.

I always send a gift to friends when their babies are born, so I'm not worried about clothes. I expect the baby gifts will continue to roll in after the birth. We've got some gender neutral preemie/newborn clothes that I don't expect them to be in for very long anyway so a few weeks of green/yellow/orange isn't that big a deal for me.

Do what your gut tells you AND what you and DH can agree on. Congrats and good luck!

 

Temp159135562506975

the way i looked at it- i don't want any surprises the day my children are born- i want things to go as planned (as far as them coming out healthy and OK).  The day we found out it was just as much of a surprise as any other day - and then we were able to truly plan for them- and I feel, bond more with them, knowing their sex.

to each his/her own though... some people love to wait - I never could.  I think the whole "there are so few surprises in life" thing is so overused... there are far too many suprises in life if you ask me --- finding out it was twins was enough of a fun suprise for me!

SoldiersGreenBean

We didn't find out with DD, and it was a great experience when she was born.  Shocking, but great!

We weren't going to find out this time either, until we found out it was twins.  DH still didn't want to, but as I told him - I've been surprised enough.

macchiatto

Goldie_Locks_5:

to each his/her own though... some people love to wait - I never could.  I think the whole "there are so few surprises in life" thing is so overused... there are far too many suprises in life if you ask me --- finding out it was twins was enough of a fun suprise for me!

LOL. Good point.
And MrsLee reminded me of something else; the way I felt by the time those babies came out (I was induced), I was so exhausted and even a bit out of it from the drugs I broke down and asked for since my epidural took forever, that finding out then wouldn't have been so great. Especially since we had two boys and honestly, I was scared of the idea of two boys so I needed some time to process that. (If we'd had a singleton, I would've been fine with either but having two boys at the same time when I hadn't had the chance to get used to one yet was a little crazier) I would've hated to be trying to process that in the craziness of giving birth. Now I love having two boys and wouldn't change it for anything, but I think it helps that I had time to get used to the idea beforehand.

Bottom line, it's definitely a personal decision and it's all about what you're most comfortable with. Just sharing my own reasoning and experience. Have fun with whatever you decide!

Shannonlea

We found out before and I actually loved doing it that way.  We made a special day out of our big ultrasound-  went to breakfast, went to register after and then had a "revealing party" at our house that night for our family.  It was probably one of the best days of my entire pregnancy.

Fa1ryG0dm0ther

macchiatto:

I'm in the "It's a surprise whenever you find out" camp. We found out as soon as possible and I have no regrets about that. For me, I do think it helped with bonding to know the genders before they were born, as well as planning. There are so many unknowns with twins that it's nice to know at least a few things ... plus I'm really glad DH and I didn't have to agree on FOUR sets of first and middle names before delivery! Two was hard enough!

This.

AND - no offense intended to those who choose to wait, I respect that as a choice - but in regards to waiting, I've always felt like "what's the surprise - they are boys or girls or both; it's not like you're having a cat." 

Nikki1007

It was still a surprise the day we found out.  I wanted to plan and didn't want everything green and yellow.  Finding out the sexes was a way to bond with each baby a little.

Jenniepenny11

In my opinion, it was so much fun being able to tell everyone when we found out.  If its a surprise, DH gets the fun of doing that while you're stuck in a hospital bed.

JustaKidAtHeart

We did things a little different because I wanted to wait and DH had to know.  We found out and didnt tell anyone.  Not a single soul.  It was our little secret.  It was so much fun getting to announce when they came and finally tell the names and genders. 

macchiatto

JustaKidAtHeart:

We did things a little different because I wanted to wait and DH had to know.  We found out and didnt tell anyone.  Not a single soul.  It was our little secret.  It was so much fun getting to announce when they came and finally tell the names and genders. 

Sneaky!

kaiteedidit

Fa1ryG0dm0ther:

macchiatto:

I'm in the "It's a surprise whenever you find out" camp. We found out as soon as possible and I have no regrets about that. For me, I do think it helped with bonding to know the genders before they were born, as well as planning. There are so many unknowns with twins that it's nice to know at least a few things ... plus I'm really glad DH and I didn't have to agree on FOUR sets of first and middle names before delivery! Two was hard enough!

This.

AND - no offense intended to those who choose to wait, I respect that as a choice - but in regards to waiting, I've always felt like "what's the surprise - they are boys or girls or both; it's not like you're having a cat." 

 This is how I feel exactly. 

Hilarigh

Fa1ryG0dm0ther:

AND - no offense intended to those who choose to wait, I respect that as a choice - but in regards to waiting, I've always felt like "what's the surprise - they are boys or girls or both; it's not like you're having a cat." 

none taken, and i know you're just being funny but the fact that we don't know if they're boys or girls is the surprise. it's the biggest surprise and i can wait for it.

i also want DH to have that moment where he gets to tell everyone that it's a boy and a girl or two girls/two boys whatever. he's hasn't really been able to participate in this miracle that's been happening in my body. so if i'm recovering in a hospital bed and not the one to tell everyone, that's ok. i get to grow these people in my body, he can be the one who gets to beam while telling all of the poeple who love us what flavor kids we got.