I missed all the fun???

howleyshell

Haven't been on much lately.

Looks like I missed a token drama?

 My take:

1.  I personally find this board FAR from drama ladened.  Aside from the occasional disagreement about 2nd showers what's there really to be dramatic about?  I've been around the block and I've seen some major D.R.A.M.A.  Unless someone's gotten an AE and is PM'ing or e-mailing nasty grams complete with jacked up attached photos......  no sweat.   This too shall pass.

2.  Anyone who thinks surviving on 2-3 hours of sleep at a time is "easy" has my admiration.   I don't care how many kids you have - not stringing together more than 2-3 consecutive hours of sleep for a month or more is H.A.R.D in my book.

That has nothing to do with having 2 kids or their spacing.  Just my observation about newborn care in general.  Hard.  (and did I mention.... HARD!)

3.  I don't think that women who are seeking help and support during the newborn stage of their first or 21st child is complaining or being ungrateful.  Hard or easy baby it takes time to figure things out and find your groove.   But we all eventually do!  I thank GOD on a regular basis for these boards so I can hear stories of other Moms in a situation similar to mine.  Our experiences are obviously not going to be the same but there's a common thread here that's missing with my friends IRL.  

And thank GOD for the women who tell it like it is - hard or easy.  I think the saddest thing about motherhood is that there IS a societal pressure to make it look easy.

Sadly that leaves so many women shocked as hell at the transition with a newborn.

Nothing prepared me for the change that my first brought me.  There could not have been enough "just wait until you see.... it's HARD" that could have explained just how difficult it is to function without sleep.  All nighter's in college don't hold a candle to ongoing sleep deprivation.

Nothing could have prepared me for the frustration and heart ache that comes from having your baby cry and not being able to soothe him/her. 

The beauty of your second is that you've been there, done that.  Even if your kids have different temperments you at least know the basics and you know that you're not gonna sleep and you know that not sleeping sucks.

But.... you also know that there's a light at the end of that tunnel.  (and the next tunnel.... and the next one.)

I remember with my 1st thinking I would never again wake on my own and it would always be waking to the demands of another human.  That's a bit overwhelming (even if it is irrational - see sleep deprivation notes above).

With my second I didn't think it was as bad because "this too shall pass" took on new meaning. 

So - easy or hard, 13 months or 24 months apart, close in age by choice, accident, or medical necessity - my hat's off to each and every one of you.

I may not know exactly what you live but I've probably got a better idea than most who don't have kids close in age.   Wether you think it's hard or not I know that you put yourself last more often now that you ever have before in your life.  I know that you've experienced having them both cry at the same time and the agony of having to choose which one to comfort first.  I know that your marriage has had less time and attention paid to it than before you had your second child.  And I know that there has been at least one day where you could not WAIT until they were both (or all) in bed so you could finally get a break (admit it.... )

At the end of the day we're all on the same team here.  We're Moms doing our best and trying to make the best life possible for our kids without loosing our minds in the process. 

 

And.... as a mother of a now 3.5 yr old I'll tell you hands down that it would be a totally different ride to be having a second one now instead of 17 months apart.

2 under 2 has it's own challenges.

And the most amazing rewards!!!! 

Mama Jan

I wondered where you were in all that.  You definitely left a void in my life this weekend

bacala1

My son always slept through the night. I would have to wake him up to eat. He was easy for me. Sorry you didn't get any sleep. I actually slept better after he was born because I didn't have to pee every 2 hours. Hopefully my daughter will be easy too!

Mr.&MrsS

Amen Sista!!!

You always have the best advice!

ms_mellor

Wow...very well said!  I have two fairly easy girls, but I would never call being a mom *easy*...it's hard work, rewarding for sure, but hard work!

HarrietNJMommy

Yup, you missed it!

Glad you caught up! Well said, as always.......

And don't you worry - there's a light at the end of the tunnel for you too - 2's are bad, 3's are worse, but it gets SO MUCH BETTER when they turn 4!!!

lisaroo

Ha, I was wondering where you were As usual, all very well said. I completely agree that with #2 at least we will know that the hard times are a phase, and they DO pass and it does all go much too quickly. There is definitely a learning curve to parenthood.

And ITA with you on the "drama". This isn't drama lol. On the toddler board I swear you can get your head bitten off for saying good morning some days :P

howleyshell

HarrietNJMommy:

And don't you worry - there's a light at the end of the tunnel for you too - 2's are bad, 3's are worse, but it gets SO MUCH BETTER when they turn 4!!!

Ya know.... I'm sure I'll be struck down by lightning for saying this but 3 for D has been a breeze.  He's a very logical kid so getting to the maturity where we could reason with him made a HUGE difference in the kid that I once thought would need therapy for over the top out of control tantrums.  (well.... that and reading a few good parenting books and picking up some good tools)

Now Jace?  Whole different ball game.  Easy-peasy infant but when 2 hit so did the blatant defiance.  Dylan was irrational, Jace is defiant for sport.

I have a feeling we're in for it with Jace at 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 16, 20, etc.

Oh well.... buckle up and enjoy the ride, huh? 

Mama Jan

howleyshell:

Ya know.... I'm sure I'll be struck down by lightning for saying this but 3 for D has been a breeze.  He's a very logical kid so getting to the maturity where we could reason with him made a HUGE difference in the kid that I once thought would need therapy for over the top out of control tantrums. 

i'm praying it's the same for me.  because if 3 is harder, i'm never going to survive.  i cannot WAIT until i can reason with C.

pp - lol about getting your head bit off for saying good morning.  seriously. 

HarkelAD

No idea what drama has been going down, but that was a very well stated post.

Ive been lucky with a pretty easy 1st child, but its still hard.  Its especially hard when your body hates being pregnant.