jealousy...

ashleylapish

My husband and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and in that time niether one of us have cheated on each other, but since I have been pregnant I just get worried. I keep having dreams about him with other women.  I just feel like he doesnt understand what I am going through. He says that I am being ridiculous but I just cant shake these feelings.  Am I the only one that feels like this? none of the other mothers I know are worrying about their men cheating... I need some advice on how to get over it! Please!

JhawkCE

Maybe you need to tell him.  Let him know that you know it's irrational and it's nothing he's done, but you keep having these dreams and then your hormones run away with it.  I think it would help me if we both made a running inside joke out of it.  That probably sounds weird, but I think if I could laugh about it then it wouldn't bother me as much.

 

 

redprincess

I have had a plethora of dreams that DH is cheating.  And of course I feel like I look awful!  But, its important to remember (and he's had to remind me) that they are just dreams, and not real.  But I know by his actions he's not, it's not hard for me to sink into a worried place that he doesn't find me physically attractive.  But, two things make me feel better.  We are best friends, and in this life together.  And, when I remind him that he's got the low level of "crazy" that he has with me, and that it would only be worse with someone else.  Whether that means anything to him or not, it makes me feel better to remind him.

Hopefully in your discussions, he doesn't just tell you that you are ridiculous, but tells you he loves you and that you are beautiful and you are being ridiculous.  If he doesn't, you may need to remind him (as men aren't mind readers) that you need him to remind you how beautiful and special you are, particularly now.

Don't forget - you're a catch!

taraleffel

this happened to me during my first pregnancy... i think a lot of it was fueled by lack of physical intimacy, and my discomfort with my ever expanding body....i would wake up from dreams pissed at him for something my mind had fabricated. it was terrible. we survived! and have had a stronger relationship and sex life following that first pregnancy.

a dream interpretation online suggests the following about dreams of cheating...(i think the last line is very consistent w/your OP about "i just feel like he doesnt understand what i am going through)

Infidelity
To dream of infidelity (either by you or someone else), forewarns of your actions with the opposite sex or you will suffer dire consequences. You are harboring guilt over a sexual relationship. Alternatively, you are feeling unsatisfied with your current relationship. You want to seek a more exotic sex life. Or you are feeling emotionally confined and need an outlet for your feelings.

 

 

mrs.Awoods

In one of my pregnancy books, it said this was completely normal. I've had dreams where DH is cheating, which happened to be when I was feeling "not so hot", and even the opposite where I cheated on DH. It sucks, but I think once we get back to our semi-normal looking selves things will be better in that sense.

robinsokj

I've had the dreams, sure.  But never once have I worried about it during waking hours.  If its a feeling you can't shake you might want to talk to a professional about it because its only going to eat away at your trust, even if there is no reason for it.

ashleylapish

thank you for all of the advice. I am glad that it is normal. I think one of the reasons why it gets to me so bad is bc he was my first love and my first everything. I love him so much and during this pregnancy I feel like I have put him through hell at times bc of my emotional outbursts and mood swings (which only get worse the closer I get to my due date). I just get that feeling that I dont deserve him and how great he has been to me during the pregnancy... I know I am just being silly but that is what sticks with me...