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Out of town guests to shower?

akl0506akl0506 member
in Baby Showers

I have quite a bit of family that lives about 4 hours away.  I am toiling whether to invite them or not.  On one hand, I want them to feel welcome to come (I'd love to see them).  On the other hand, if they can't/don't want to make the journey, I completely understand and don't want to seem like I am fishing for gifts.

Please help - include them or not?
 TIA!

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Re: Out of town guests to shower?

  • MCC1010MCC1010 member

    I have family and friends from out of town that we invited to the shower. I called them ahead of time to tell them that they were going to be getting an invite in the mail. I made sure to say - "I would love for you to come but I completely understand that this requires you to travel. If you cannot make it I completely understand." I have also had my mother and sister repeat that no gifts are needed as we just want them to come and celebrate with us if they can. That way no one feels obligated to buy anything.

    FYI - the no gift comment is made to everyone we invited. I would hate for anyone to not come because they couldn't get us something. I would rather have the company - that is a much better present in my eyes.

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  • sstephen27sstephen27 member
    That's always hard, you never want anyone to think you're fishing for gifts.  But if you're even remotely close to them I would invite them.  You'd never want to hurt their feelings by not inviting.  If you do invite, you should have it at a convenient time so they could drive there that day and not have to leave at 6am and not too late so if they drove home that night they didn't get home at 2am.
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  • earollinsearollins
    I was not going to invite any OOT people but my MIL asked that she receive an invite, just so she can send a gift. I'm only inviting my siblings and only my sister and Mom are coming in. I will make sure I let them know I don't expect them to come but wanted them to know they are included if they can make it.
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  • northtamaracknorthtamarack member

    How do things work in your family?  Have you been invited to their events in the past? 

    FWIW, I struggled with this when I had my bridal shower.  Someone said to me, "North, you know that you would do this and more for anyone else.  Don't worry about it.  Just enjoy."  She didn't mean this in a tit-for-tat way, rather she was pointing out that people choose to live in different areas and it is great to get people together for a special event.

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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    I think how it works in your family is important.  In mine and DH's - out of town guests do NOT get invited. 

    It's a shower.  A gift giving event. It's not a wedding, a baptism, a graduation.  I just dont' feel it's on the same level and I do feel caution should be taken when creating the guest list.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • aborgraaborgra
    Most of my family is also 4 hours away.  I am planning on sending invites to the shower, but they know they are in no way obligated to come.  We are also letting them know that after the baby is born we will be doing a meet the baby get together up in their area, so if they would rather wait for that they can.
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  • Stellar1Stellar1
    I would include them. If they can make it, cool if not then that's fine also. We included our out of town friends/relatives with the expectation most of them weren't going to make it.
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  • krystibrowkrystibrow

    I am not even close to having a shower yet, but my a couple friends from college have already said that they want to fly out to attend.  As someone said before, it does depend on the family.  My family is big on "big" events, so matter the occasion!

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  • hopefulmomhopefulmom member
    When my DD had her shower she invited all her DH's close friends and close family.  They live 4-5 hours away.  They came.
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  • JennicapJennicap member
    I'm having two showers, my side and DH's side. My side did not invite anyone out of state, its just what we do. DH's side invited everyone even as far away as my BIL in Hawaii Indifferent I hated it but whatever I'm not the host.

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  • ToBeFrankToBeFrank member

    I invited family that lives 8 hours away just to be polite and include them. They ended up coming.

     

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  • jennygirlmtjennygirlmt member
    I say invite them. I never feel obligated to send gifts for events that I can't attend.  So I wouldn't be insulted or feel they were fishing for gifts.  I would go if I could and send my regrets if I couldn't.  You never know when they might want a reason to come visit.
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  • funnibabyfunnibaby member

    I had this same dilemma.  I emailed the group (it was a small group) and just said that my shower was going to be on X date and that I wanted them to be included but didn't want them to feel pressure to attend since they had to travel and that it could be expensive.  One had a scheduling conflict and the other two are coming.  They will get official invites as well, but they needed to plan in advance for travel

    Heather

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