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Babies on the Brain
caffinated_tulip
member
DH gave me an asthma attack (Vent, long)
caffinated_tulip
member
Ugh, I could just scream at him! I think that being stuck in the house with each other for 3 days in a row is finally getting to us. He has been pushing my buttons all day.
First, it was the TTC talk. The same friggn' discussion we have everytime. He wants to talk about his feelings pertaining to TTC, which amount to "I'm feeling unsure and filled with doubts, but I still want to try in May". It always ends up with me feeling guilty and like I'm forcing him into trying. Then him saying that I'm not forcing him and that he really wants to he's just not sure about...something. And that's the only discussion we have about it. We don't talk about how I feel, how excited I am. We don't talk about anything else other than that. And it's really ticking me off.
We had this discussion while trudging up our snow covered hill on our way back from the grocery store. I have asthma, mild, well controlled, but one of my major triggers is cold air. If I keep my breathing rate slow and not too deep, I'm fine. If I start to breath hard in the cold, Bam, asthma attack.
I got all upset about what sounded like him wanting to back out of TTC, it wasn't, he just wanted to tell me how he was totally on board, but also not. And had an asthma attack, in the middle of the street, with no where to sit down.
It was really awesome
Then, after dinner, he brought up the Religion talk. I'm Wiccan, I've been Wiccan for over a decade and I'm very happy. He wont stick with one religion any longer than a week, he keeps hoping back and forth based on what ever book he's reading. The Religion talk is another one we have over and over again where basically he tells me to pick his faith for him. And then refuses to believe me when I say that he needs to calm down and decide what he believes in for himself.
He's now sulking in his man cave.
Gah. Sorry to dump all that. I needed to get it out.
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Re: DH gave me an asthma attack (Vent, long)
We lead strangely similar lives.
And I feel all of your pain.
::hands Tulip albuterol inhaler and a beer::
::smacks Mr. Tulip upside the head for not opening his eyes to his wife's needs::
You know I know, right? We ride in the saaaaammmmeee boat.
I was JUST thinking this!
The similarities are so striking.
I don't even know how to feel about DH and TTC anymore. He talks about it,s o I know that he wants it eventually, but I am kind of done trying to talk to him right now.
We have religion issues as well. He's Lutheran and wants me to be. I'm borderline agnostic and it can cause issues.
The-waiting-to-ttc-as-long-as-dh-keeps-his-promise club?
The wishy-washy-husbands club?
(these suggestions suck)Ugh, the religion thing irritates me the most. Because it's never ending! Last year, for my birthday he made this big production of announcing that he was going to be Wiccan too and that was that and he was done searching.
That lasted about 2 months, then he read a book on the Gnostics and it was all over. I think he's having a Zen buddhist phase right now but I can never really tell.
Do you guys have a TTC future date in mind?
Ugh, the religion thing irritates me the most. Because it's never ending! Last year, for my birthday he made this big production of announcing that he was going to be Wiccan too and that was that and he was done searching.
That lasted about 2 months, then he read a book on the Gnostics and it was all over. I think he's having a Zen buddhist phase right now but I can never really tell.
Do you guys have a TTC future date in mind?
TTCWDH
TTCwith douchetastic husbands
Sold!
I definitely think not talking to him about it for a few weeks, PLUS our friends coming for a visit and talking to him about it really helped.
My DH's reasons for not wanting TTC/wanting to wait to TTC had more to do with him honestly believing that society as a whole could come crashing down at any moment.
With his and DD's age becoming an issue, and my opinion that if Society as we know it really is coming to an end it is better to have a kid now when there are still vaccinations and epidurals, he is finally getting on board.
Hahaha I'm kind of the one playing the part of your husband with religion
Our date changes all the time. Right now, it's "roughly" at the start of next school year (August, our 2nd anniversary), if we have found a place to live that we really like. If we have to stay here another year, we are still shooting for that timeline because we have good healthcare. But I am not getting my hopes up.
I like, but how about TTCWTTH-- TTCwith tettertottering husbands.
Not talking isn't an option for me. HE brings it up. HE talks about it. It drives me nuts.
WOW. I didn't know that. If you have a timeline of Approx. August, have you asked him for a timeout on the subject until June? Two months lead time should be plenty to workout whether you will really be ready or not. And seriously, part of being married is respecting when your spouse needs a timeout. (Tell him that)
The positive part I totally get. It's the wavering part that is so hard.
DH actually brought it up in front of DD tonight, which is a whole new arena for us. She started in on, "what if you have twins? what if you have triplets?"
I could see the color drain out of DH's face as this previously unexplored possibility started running through his head.
Ugh.
Awesome! The scene in my mind is hilarious btw.