Last name dilemma (long sorry)

flippy1234

We're not married and we each have kids from previous relationships. My daughters last name is hyphenated w/ her father's last name and my last name. Her father passed away when she was 1. DH(its just easier to call him this than my live in boyfriend of 5years ) and his two kids have the same last name.

We are planning on getting married when he finishes school in about a year and a 1/2 or so. My original plan was not to change my name when we got married for my daughters sake, I wouldn't want her to fel like she was the only one in the family w/ out the same last name. So we had tossed around the idea of doing a hyphenated name for the new baby.. but honestly I hate the fact that my daughter has a hyphenated name. I really don't want to give the new baby a hyphenated name. Then we would have FOUR different last names in the house. Another option would be when we get married to change my daughters last name, but I would only want to do that if she was ok with it, he is the only father she has ever known, but shes knows that her real daddy is up in heaven, and she might want to hang on to his name. 

 Sorry this is so long...  

nostangchick

Thats a hard one. I would give new baby DH name since he is the father and you plan on being with him. As for your daughter I would give her the option and let her tell you how she feels about it. She may like her current name or maybe she would want to change it to DH last name (i think he would have to adopt her to do so not positive on that) or maybe she would even want to keep her real dads name and hyphenate it with DH name. Its really her choice since it is something she will be answering to. If she is too young to really understand I would leave it as it is until she is older.

lovemytwoboys

I would probably give the new baby your boyfriend's last name since you plan to marry him. However, if I were you I would absolutely not ever change my daughter's last name. If her father was a dead-beat dad who didn't have anything to do with her, that might be one thing. Since he passed away though, I would not even consider it. That just seems wrong IMO.

mysticporter

That is a tough one.  Your sig says your daughter is 6?  I would talk to her about it now, first.  She's really young, but I think old enough to understand and possibly have a strong opinion about the entire situation already.  I'd base my decision personally pretty heavily on how she feels.

J+R

I would give your new baby your DH's last name, and after you get married - ask your DD if she would like her last name changed.  I forget how old your DD is, if she is very young - I would just change her last name, especially since your DH is the only father she's ever known.

MaybeBaby2

I'd give your baby to be your new married name. I would ask your DD what she wanted to do as far as changing her name.
My step Dad adopted me and my sister and I changed my name when I was 8 years old to his. I had a choice and I chose. My bio Dad was a loser and I hadn't seen him years prior to even 8 years old, so it was no big deal.
My Dad (step Dad) is the only Dad I've ever known and I'm so glad I made the decision I did.

aborgra

I would give the new baby DH's name and, if it were me, would take his name as well when you get married.  My parents divorced and remarried when I was young, so I was always the one with a different last name.  It truly never bothered me at all.

mheiman32

I say take your DH's last name, give the new baby his last name, and change your daughters to biodaddy-daddy?s name. That way she keeps her biological fathers last name and has the same name as everyone else. Just tell her you both loose the maiden name when you marry DH. She might think it's a cool and grown up thing to do.  :-)

NewMama2010

mheiman32:

I say take your DH's last name, give the new baby his last name, and change your daughters to biodaddy-daddy?s name. That way she keeps her biological fathers last name and has the same name as everyone else. Just tell her you both loose the maiden name when you marry DH. She might think it's a cool and grown up thing to do.  :-)

 

I like this idea! That way she still has her biological father's name, but also has the same name as everyone else in the house. I think this is a really good idea.

So once you are married: Mom Smith, Dad Smith, Kid Smith #1, Kid Smith #2, Kid Jones-Smith, Baby Smith