Moral/ethical question: would you use this?

CleoKitty

A couple years ago (maybe 3 years ago?) a friend was getting divorced and her STBX asked if he could store some stuff in an old outbuilding on our property until he moved to a new city and got settled. It was quite a large amount (enough that he would have easily filled a one car garage sized storage building from floor to ceiling.)

This guy really hasn't stayed in touch. Every once in a blue moon (usually in the summer) he'll randomly show up and get some things out of the building. I would say about 1/3 of it remains.

While out there today organizing some of our own storage stuff I noticed a really cute little red nightstand there that belongs to this man. I've considered moving it inside and just using it since I don't know if he's ever coming back for the rest of his stuff. (When I see him again, eventually, I'd tell him that I have it.)

He lives in a different city 4-5 hours away now and I don't really have any contact info for him. I could track him down through his ex-wife if absolutely needed. 

Would it be so bad to just use the darned nightstand? Or is it shady of me to help myself to something he left here? I don't want to be sleazy, but at the same time this stuff is practically abandoned at this point...

Mrs Manners

I would use it as long as you're prepared to replace it if it gets damaged or broken (unlikely to happen though). And next time I see him I would tell him he has 2 weeks to clean his stuff out. If he doesn't you're going to donate it or use it after that time. It's completely unreasonable for him to expect you to store it for that long. If he has come to get some of it, he can get all of it.

soontobemomma

I would just get in touch and see if he wants his stuff.  If not, use it, if so tell him to clean out his things. 

 

summerbrideDC

I'd definitely use it.  The guy's been storing his stuff on your property for free for years?!  Fair enough trade for me. 

stillhoping

I would use it but I would also get in touch with him and find out what he would like you to do with the rest of his stuff. Kind of a hint that he should pick it up

MelandJeff

Yep, I would use it. Definitely.

 

AnnapolisLari

I think 3 years of free storage is worth one nightstand. And definitely try to get in touch and tell him to retrieve the rest of it.

Kapalua

use it...it's yours.  what's that rule about possession?  Does he have anything else cool in there? 

hopefulmom

I agree with PMQ.  Since you don't have a contract...even verbal...as to when he has to have the stuff out of there you can't really assume he doesn't want it.  Hopefully, he doesn't want the stuff and you can then sell it or give it away and keep the nightstand.  If he does want it...ask him if you can have the nightstand.  If he says no...I'd remind him that he has used your building for 3 years and you think that is the least he could allow you to keep.  If he's in an apartment he probably doesn't have room for all the stuff.