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Today must not be a good day for SIL: Need some advice(sorry long)
Okay let me preface this by saying that me and my SIL get along pretty well...the only issue I have is that my parents always come second. And we ALWAYS have to work around their schedule. Hence the underlying issue with this post.
Okay my mom's bday is the 21st of this month. SIL's dad is the 17th. I emailed her on Jan 30 telling her I'd like to do a surprise birthday party for my mom on 20th (my mom is turning 60 which I view as a milestone bday). Now this party isn't going to be anything huge...just a desserts party. .
She emailed me back saying that she'd have to check and see what her family wants to do for her dad's bday. I told her that's fine, to just let me know. She then emails me back before checking with her family and says what are some alternative dates for your mom's party. I guess I should have realized right there that it would automatically be my family that has to work around them again.
Anyway I told her well we could do it Sunday afternoon the 21st which is her actual bday but it would be harder to pull off the surprise and Sunday isn't usually too convenient for lots of people. But I was willing to do it that day. She emailed me back and said what about the 27th? I told her no to that day because Wes starts his spring outage at work that day and wouldn't be able to make it.
So today I get an email saying that her family wants the 20th..so according to her that is automatically out. They are doing a dinner. Well maybe I shouldn't be but I am a bit peeved because I asked first, but I can get past that. My real question/situations are the following and I need some help deciding what to do. Which do you think sounds best?
1. Do it Sunday the 21st even though it isn't the most convenient time and it might be slightly rushed?
2. Do it Friday the 19th?
3. Do it Friday the 26th even though this is after her birthday?
4. Try to work in a way that both events can take place on Sat the 20th? Like we could do my mom's party in the early afternoon if her family is wanting to do dinner.
Thanks for your thoughts.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Today must not be a good day for SIL: Need some advice(sorry long)
ugh! I hate that.
I would just be really frank w/ her and plan to do it on the day you originally planned. if they can't make it, they can't make it.
my BIL/SIL are that way... for years and years and years - we have had to schedule any gathering around their kids naptime/bedtime.
a few weeks ago, they invited us over for BIL/Boys Bday right during Avery's naptime... I was pissed.
That is very inconsiderate. I would just keep the date that you wanted and tell your SIL that you think this is the best date and it's a big bday for your mom and you don't want to have to change.
Is this your brother's wife???
THIS
Ditto!
Yes it is.
I like the idea of doing it on the original day as that is what is best for everyone else. The only thing I worry about is that they will split and my brother will come to my mom's and she will go to her dad's which is fine...but who gets my niece? I know it will be her family and that is just yet again a reminder that my family comes second.