Random but thought of being a single mom scares me...

xbrooklyngrl

I really give it to single moms, incluiding my own mom who did it with a 2 and 3 yr old at the age of 23 when my dad died.

Just the thought of having to do it all alone, scared the sh*t out of me. Everything from who would drop her off at daycare, could I afford daycare, letting someone else into our lives and trusting them around my child. ALL OF IT makes me sweat with fear.

I know we're woman and we can and DO do it, but man....I really do have so much respect for single moms/dads.

 

SMHWife

DH and I single parent raise my child during the week.  He has her in the mornings while I'm at work and then when he's at work at night, I have her.  But I thank god for the weekends because it's so much easier to have help.  I can totally understand your fear, however! 

MrsStubbs

DH has been working out of town and will be for the next few weeks. My house has fallen apart. Once the kids go to sleep, I just sit on the couch and watch tv, no desire to do anything.

Mominator

SMHWife:

DH and I single parent raise my child during the week.  He has her in the mornings while I'm at work and then when he's at work at night, I have her.  But I thank god for the weekends because it's so much easier to have help.  I can totally understand your fear, however! 

No offense, but there is much more to being a single parent than just caring for your child alone. By your definition, SAHM's are a single parent during the day. Being a single parent means that not only are you caring for your child alone (sometimes 24/7) but you are solely responsible for putting a roof over their heads and food on the table, you are the one making all decisions regarding your kids whether it be what's for dinner or which pre-school to send them to and when the kids get sick there is no one else to lean on for help. There is a lot more to it than that.

XBG - thank you for what you said. It actually means a lot to hear that. I was a single mom with DS#1 for 7 years and now I am doing it all over again with 3 kids. It's never easy, but I am lucky that I do have a great support system in place.

xbrooklyngrl

I have to agree with mominator, even though it feels like you are a single parent when DH travels or whatever, you still have that partner to talk to, vent to, lean on...I can't imagine just dealing with it all alone. Like when I know I've had a crap mom day and tell DH about it and he says, I'm a great mom, I need that.

Anyway, once again, I hope I'm never ever in those shoes but for those that are, you really are my heroes.

butterbeansmama

I know. My girlfriend is a single mom and although she has more babysitters than I could ever imagine pining over each other to watch her daughter for her, it is still a huge responsiblity (as mominator stated).

Even though dh works out of state a ton, I'm sooo grateful when he is here. Single mom's don't even have that.

cokt

Mominator:

SMHWife:

DH and I single parent raise my child during the week.? He has her in the mornings while I'm at work and then when he's at work at night, I have her.? But I thank god for the weekends because it's so much easier to have help.? I can totally understand your fear, however!?

No offense, but there is much more to being a single parent than just caring for your child alone. By your definition, SAHM's are a single parent during the day. Being a single parent means that not only are you caring for your child alone (sometimes 24/7) but you are solely responsible for putting a roof over their heads and food on the table, you are the one making all decisions regarding your kids whether it be what's for dinner or which pre-school to send them to and when the kids get sick there is no one else to lean on for help. There is a lot more to it than that.

XBG - thank you for what you said. It actually means a lot to hear that. I was a single mom with DS#1 for 7 years and now I am doing it all over again with 3 kids. It's never easy, but I am lucky that I do have a great support system in place.

I agree with this. Being a single parent to me does not mean you are by yourself during the day or night with you kid. That would make most people single parents the majority of the time. People who are truly raising children alone amaze me. I think it would be so tough to not have anyone else to be there for financial/emotional support.?

mlm1128

I agree with you XBG.  I know I could do it, but I never want to be in a position where I need to do it.

At least when dh goes out of town I know he's coming back.  He helps make the big and little decisions about what happens to dd.  We share the highs and lows.  Doing it all alone with no partner at all scares the bejesus out of me. 

Desert*Flower

This is also one of my greatest fears - my father passed away when I was young as well. My mom raised 4 of us all by herself. It's not just all of the hard work without breaks, it's also not having a partner to turn to, to help make decisions or share everything with.

JOEBunny

I have friends who are true single parents, no ex-spouse or dad/mom in the picture and I think that would be very, very hard.  I don't think it is all that hard to take care of the kids on my own, and often do it for a couple of weeks at a time, but I have DH's income, a nice house, and he takes care of a lot of things outside of the kids, like insurance and bills. 

Never getting a break, like divorced parents do, not having someone to bail you out in a crisis.  That would be very difficult.  

belle204

psshhht. being a single mom is easy. being married scares me. on the real.

xbrooklyngrl

belle204:

psshhht. being a single mom is easy. being married scares me. on the real.

LMAO you are crazy.

SMHWife

I was in NO WAY trying to say that I know what it feels like.  I'm just saying that in the evenings I don't get any help and I'm responsible for dinner, taking DD to her dance classes, bedtime routine, laundry, feeding the dogs and getting them their exercise... etc.  I know what a task it is and if I had to do it all by myself all the time, I'm sure it would be mind blowing. 

CBKMRB

Agreed!  I was a single mom with Kevin.  Met my DH when he was almost 10 and got married when he was almost 12.  I really can not imagine doing it again, I know I could if I had to but it would be a last resort if it ever came to that.

I have huge respect for Mominator for doing it again and now with more kids.  It's a tough road but it can be done.

knmommy

I was a single mom for 3.5 years with Nathan, would never want to do that again!

cearleyjay

belle204:

psshhht. being a single mom is easy. being married scares me. on the real.

samanthony

My SIL is a single mom to a 4 and 5 year old, and makes it look easy. Her ExDH blew it too many times, and she's been completely on her own for two years now. She is also getting her doctorate right now. He only gives her 600.00 a month for child support, and she only gets 2 full days a month without the girls. She is my hero. I can't imagine how I would survive in her shoes.