may I vent.. controversial i'm sure

mandy12345

I think that is horribly sad that your aunt is like that. I'm sure this poor little girl if she is born is going to be messed up because how she is already treating her before she is even born. I think if you abort because your child may have something wrong with them and don't think your marriage could handle that kind of stress then you should NOT be getting pregnant. Furthermore a mother should have unconditional love for her child if he/she has a problem or not. Abortion is a highly selfish act and unbelievably cruel...your baby can feel everything when it's aborted...sick.

renebean319

i give up.

babyxmas

You seem to have very strong convictions. You should be honest with your Aunt and tell her how you feel. In a gentle compassionate way of course. Hopefully, she has other people who will support her. If not, I would keep my mouth shut and try to be there for her.

Oreally

I think that everyone who wants respect in their right choose to have an abortion should also respect those who think abortion is wrong.

Heather R

Oreally:

I think that everyone who wants respect in their right choose to have an abortion should also respect those who think abortion is wrong.

While that is a nice sentiment with which I agree in theory, only the people on one side of the issue are using such loaded terms as "murder" and "selfish," and they have seemingly ignored Laura's post in their righteous indignation.

Laura, I continue to hold you and little Elijah close in my thoughts.

Violet's Mommy

Oreally:

I think that everyone who wants respect in their right choose to have an abortion should also respect those who think abortion is wrong.

YES!!!!!!!

christina-marie

Violet's Mommy:

christina-marie:

Violet's Mommy:

That makes me really sad.  I know that it is everyone's own personal choice but I am against it, if your having sex and you get pregnant and you do not want it, at least give it up for adoption so many people want children who can not have them.

This is a completely different argument altogether. We're not discussing a 14 year old getting knocked up. We're talking about adults being forced to make a heartbreaking decision re: whether or not to carry a special needs child to term. For all we know, they could be facing a diagnosis which would require early induction and death shortly thereafter. I do not blame the parents ONE BIT for weighing their options. I personally think it's extremely immature and judgemental to make sweeping "I think it's wrong and sad" statements about this. Every woman has to come to her own conclusions and do what she feels best.

I was just saying how I felt.  Also I never once said it was "wrong"??? And I was just saying in general people who choose abortion should think about adoption. In this situation, yes there are several things to think of, even so as someone's already mentioned someone who may not be able to have a child, or even someone who can and would like to care for a special needs child, shoudl have the chance to do so.  I do not know the people invovled here, and I am not saying that I think down upon them for doing something that I may or may not do.

You're right, you didn't out & out say it was wrong. However; you're sentiments re: how you "are against it" (your words) certainly implied that wouldnt you agree? Listen, I'm not flaming you & you are certainly entitled to your opinion. I just personally don't believe your argument holds water. Again, we're not talking about a sexually active teen who is more likely to get the lesson of "you real what you sow." This argument and yours are completely seperate. That's all I'm saying. I certainly didn't mean to make it seem like I was singling you out or flaming you, I simply mean that your point doesn't seem as valid in this situation as it maybe would in another.

MarriedBestFriends

mandy12345:

I think that is horribly sad that your aunt is like that. I'm sure this poor little girl if she is born is going to be messed up because how she is already treating her before she is even born. I think if you abort because your child may have something wrong with them and don't think your marriage could handle that kind of stress then you should NOT be getting pregnant. Furthermore a mother should have unconditional love for her child if he/she has a problem or not. Abortion is a highly selfish act and unbelievably cruel...your baby can feel everything when it's aborted...sick.

LOL! Would somebody care to come over and explain to DD how "messed up" she should be, seeing as her parents had extensive genetic testing after she was conceived due to their backgrounds? Oh the horror and shame of this "treatment" that possibly could have led to a pregnancy termination! And you bet your sweet ass we would have thought long and hard about it had my H also come back a carrier for such nastiness as Tay Sachs, as I am apparently a carrier. Walk a mile...and I don't mean walk one carrying a large photo of a fetus outside of a medical clinic.

mandy12345

Messed up to the fact that her mother is calling her an "it" and is thinking about not giving her chance a child at life. This to me shows that she does not have unconditional love for her child and this will show later in life.

mkrystalkay

fredalina:

Here's the deal, OP.  You're entitled to your opinion, and i don't have a problem with it.  Even the blanket statement that abortion is never okay. 

However, you're being two-faced to your aunt, in her time of extreme need, by talking about her with behind her back with your mom and posting on a public forum about it.  If you don't agree with abortion, you should tell your aunt in as nice a way as you can that you're really not comfortable answering those particular questions and point her to a better source of info.

First of all, I totally agree with this...  Why do you feel the need to air your aunt's business here??  Frankly, I would be offended and hurt if I were her that you expressed these feelings to a group of strangers.  If  you feel so strongly about these beliefs, then you shouldn't avoid addressing them with her.   Secondly, it is people like you who make things so difficult...  Why be so judgement??  Does it really make you feel that much better about yourself??  I mean, who really cares what decisions others make??  Whatever you say or think...it really doesn't matter because in the end, a woman does what is best for her personal situation.  And...that's the way it should be.

Heather R

mandy12345:

Messed up to the fact that her mother is calling her an "it" and is thinking about not giving her chance a child at life. This to me shows that she does not have unconditional love for her child and this will show later in life.

people all over the tri boards use the term "it" since they don't all know the gender, and since it is shorter than "he/she" every time. 

People also refer to animals as "it."  Surely in your righteous stance you acknowledge animal life as life too?  Is none of your indignation reserved for those instances?

Calling people like Laura here selfish as you did is way worse than using the term "it" for the unborn.

jolis_petits_bijoux

I can't believe you even judged her for having amnio.  I had amnio (and it was horrible), do you judge me for that??? 

ETA:  And you really shouldn't say you wouldn't have amnio because of risks?  You DON'T know for sure that you wouldn't.  You don't know until you're sitting there crying in the genetic counselor's chair, even if you're certain that you wouldn't term. the pregnancy.  I wouldn't have termed if DS had a genetic defect (he had several markers), but I ended up having amnio anyway.  I needed to know if he was okay, and prepare for it if he wasn't.