Egg Donation...?

KateySue

I had an odd conversation with a woman at my fertility clinic. She was there for the same reasons as I...able to conceive, but not able to carry. Like me and my DH, she and her husband are moving in the direction of adoption and when I shared with her our concern for financing adoption, she said that their agency fees are almost paid off. She donated her eggs and used the money to pay for adoption.

I'm not sure what to think. I have many friends who have had egg donors through IVF and they are forever thankful for the women who donated....but donate to afford adoption? I can see the logic...helping infertile women become mother's while in turn, they (or the egg donor program) helps women adopt.

What is your take on this? Heard of it before?

katerena

I could see someone doing that if her husband had sperm issues, or if she had an implantation disorder.  If her eggs are of good quality, she might still be infertile as a couple and might think that at least her eggs are going to help another couple out while helping them finance building their family. 

MyColonyNJ

Well, there is A LOT more involved than just wanting to be a donor.  Requirements are pretty strict and there is not a large percentage of women that are actually accepted into a program.

Plus, you would have to give your full medical history.  And, I seriously doubt that previous losses would make you eligible.

To be 100% honest - I would be PISSED if I accepted an egg from a donor, and then later found out that the donor had many many losses.  In fact, if they DID allow women with losses to be a donor, I can tell you that I would never choose that donor. 

In many cases, a m/c is due to genetic abnormality of the egg.  And, in my case many of my losses were due to an abnormality.  Which would mean that I have a high likely hood of having future pregnancies end in a loss due to abnormaility.  Would it be fair to pass these crappy eggs to someone else?  I do think so.

Yes, there are other reasons why you would not be able to carry a baby to term, and I have those issues too.  But, if I saw the limited medical profile of a possible donor, and saw multiple losses, I would not care what the reason for the loss was, I would just move to the next possible donor.

I am not saying these things to be mean, and it does not answer your original question; but I just don't think you understand how donors work.

KateySue

MyColonyNJ:

Well, there is A LOT more involved than just wanting to be a donor.  Requirements are pretty strict and there is not a large percentage of women that are actually accepted into a program.

Plus, you would have to give your full medical history.  And, I seriously doubt that previous losses would make you eligible.

To be 100% honest - I would be PISSED if I accepted an egg from a donor, and then later found out that the donor had many many losses.  In fact, if they DID allow women with losses to be a donor, I can tell you that I would never choose that donor. 

In many cases, a m/c is due to genetic abnormality of the egg.  And, in my case many of my losses were due to an abnormality.  Which would mean that I have a high likely hood of having future pregnancies end in a loss due to abnormaility.  Would it be fair to pass these crappy eggs to someone else?  I do think so.

Yes, there are other reasons why you would not be able to carry a baby to term, and I have those issues too.  But, if I saw the limited medical profile of a possible donor, and saw multiple losses, I would not care what the reason for the loss was, I would just move to the next possible donor.

I am not saying these things to be mean, and it does not answer your original question; but I just don't think you understand how donors work.

You're right - I don't FULLY understand how donation works. I do know many women who have donated, and received from donation, and they have shared pieces of their experiences with me, but not all. That is why I posted about it. And to be clear, I wasn't asking about this with the sole interest of donating...this is the first time I've been introduced to the idea of donating to afford adoption and my main curiosity is more about what people think about the idea...not me, as a donor.

I appreciate your input, and your concern about donated eggs from a potentially unhealthy woman but again, I'm not asking if I should donate, I'm asking what people think about donating to afford adoption. Maybe I should have worded my OP differently. Sure, it is interesting to me and sure, I will be researching the whole concept but am I delusional and stupid enough to think that my eggs would actually be accepted? Of course not. I'm just intrigued by the whole thing and curious about how this makes women think/feel about any woman donating to afford adoption, not specifically me.

cindybaf

Some women cannot physically carry a pregnancy due to incompetent cervix, clotting problems, implantation issues, or have tubal issues(like me!).

I think egg donation is great, I personally couldn't donate, but I think I'm past the age cutoff anyway. I'm sure that if she passed the donation program guidelines, which ARE pretty stringent and include your reproductive history-I think she's probably a victim of m/c's from physical problems. 

MyColonyNJ

I am sorry about my previous reply - maybe it came off weird.

 

Dr.Loretta

I have heard of women donating eggs to pay for all sorts of things, from student loans to IVF.

My take is that, from my understanding, it's not a simple case of "donate eggs, get money". All the discussions I've read about it on other boards talk about the strict criteria that most egg donation programs have, and there are a lot of hoops to jump through. Women can be disqualified for various medical issues, and some potential matches may have an issue with women who weren't able to carry a child to term, even if their eggs look OK.

Just my 2c.

ETA: Just saw your reply that it wasn't something you were necessarily considering. And I'm not saying the above necessarily in relation to you and your own situation. I have seen a lot of posts where women consider egg donation to pay for X, Y, or Z, and are usually quickly educated that it is not a simple, straightforward process.

maurisa74

According to my OB/GYN the majority of multiple miscarriages are due to unknown reasons, not genetic problems. I had 1 stillborn child and 2 miscarriages. The first m/c was tested and there were no genetic abnormalities. The second was a natural m/c and I didn't take the tissue to the doctor for testing. After all that I underwent a battery of tests as well as genetic counseling. Turns out there is no known reason why I keep having these problems. For me this was frustrating because I wanted clear answers with definite medical treatment. I am probably to old for donating eggs, but your information does make me think about it as an option.

KateySue

Please, don't be sorry! I truly appreciated your concern. You were looking out for the millions of women who depend on donors to build their families. I get it. We all have our passionate subjects. I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't really looking for the green, or red, light...I'm not ready to be held to that kind of accountability...you know, people PMing me to ask what I've decided when it really wasn't ever much of an issues.

You did the right thing. Don't be sorry. 

ETA: This was in reply to the previous apology from the gal with adorable children in her siggy.

maddieg78

I believe you can also donate your eggs to science and still be awarded monies for the time/donation.

Personally, I wouldn't be able to donate my eggs to someone else when I am unable to have a child with those eggs.   I don't know the idea of being a biological mother to a child that I wouldn't be able to parent, is not a path I'd chose to follow, unless I already had children (I am not sure this makes much sense, other than in my head.. sorry).  Anyway, my point is that my husband and I were going to donate our remaining embryos to an infertile couple if our IVF cycle had been a sucess and resulted in multiples.  But that did not happen, and we weren't able to help another couple as a couple.

LadyRed7

I don't see anything wrong with it and if it is a way for someone to be able to afford something they need in life, then to each their own.