Friend ? not bonding

troopersmom21

She says she honestly doesn't feel happy being a mother. She says she doesn't meet the criteria for pills. Any advise for her. She is in law school and works and she says she'd rather be there then at home.

*speedracer*

i felt the same way.  going back to work was such a relief for me.  even still, now that i don't have PPD anymore i still like going to work and having separate time from my son.  who told her she doesn't meet criteria for medication? 

if she wants help, there is lots out there, you just have to look around for it.  for me personally, i went to a postpartum support group at a local hospital, i saw a therapist just for talking, and i also ended up seeing a psychiatrist because the meds i got from my OB needed to be tweaked a bit by an expert.  if she's ok with it, see if you can help her find someone who will prescribe her some starter antidepressants and just be there for her, help her watch the baby sometimes, if you can.

Gina418

The first few months of having a baby are tough - even without PPD! I found relief in work too.

Who has she talked to - who told her she "doesn't meet the criteria" for medication? She may not need medication, but it sounds like she really didn't ask for help.

Offer to check out local therapists together, maybe go with her to a session if she asks.

GL to her!

orleyl

She may just feel overwhelmed and need some time and extra help. Plus not sure how old her LO is but it took me about 6-8 weeks before I felt happy being a mother. And I would be curious who told her she doesnt meet criteria? She should go to a diff doctor.

Sally J

Another thing to note is that not every mother bonds instantly to their child.  Entering into motherhood was not at all how I imagined.  I felt very disconnected from my DS and I felt like I was mourning my old life for at least 6 weeks.  Then it started to get a little better, but PPD kicked in and the anger and resentment really kicked my butt.

Now that I've adopted as well, I've learned that bonding is an ongoing process.  Falling in love with your children happens over time and mourning what life used to be like is very normal after such a big life change, such as becoming a mother.

That being said, one of my key signs of PPD was not wanting to be with my children or husband--the desire to just escape.  I found a therapist that really helped me put things into perspective, manage my PPD, and learn to enjoy motherhood.  Tell her to listen to her body and if something feels off, then see a different doctor.