Shower Confession/Vent

Abc15379

I feel dumb admitting it, but I really want a baby shower. I didn't care at first, but then my two best girlfriends told me they were going to throw one with the help of my mom. I got all excited, but now they are changing their minds. One is about to finish grad school and thinks she will be too busy(she just told me she will throw one for my next baby). The other confessed that instead of all the work and planning, she'd rather just buy me a ton of gifts. I told my mom what they said and basically just said nevermind then. Now, I feel dumb when everyone asks when my shower is and where I'm registered. Clearly a lot of people want to get me a gift, but I feel like an asss not having a party for them to go to, where they can have a good time and feel appreciated, you know? Is that stupid? The whole thing makes me want to cry.

mrsrose16

I'm sorry. Having a shower was fun, and all the showers I've been to have been fun as well. It's nice just spending the time with family and friends. Do you have a sister or sister in law that could host? Or a cousin? My cousin threw mine.

ETA: My work shower was 32 wks, and my cousin threw the other at 34 weeks. You still have time

amandalea51107

Aw that sucks! Sorry to hear that. Maybe your mom would understand if you talked to her about it? But don't cry about it. People might just end up bringing gifts when they come to visit the baby too. 

KKWISC

Talk to your Mom and see if the two of you together can throw you one. You can make a shower as simple or as complicated as you want and If you really want one, throw yourself one.

agdudley08

Maybe you could mention it to your mom that you were really looking forward to the shower & she could host it alone.  It is a lot of work for her but I'm sure she would understand & be willing. 

Abc15379

Thanks ladies. DH said he will talk to my mom and see what she wants to do. I am fine with a simple shower, I just feel bad accepting gifts without having a party for everyone to enjoy. I would really love to have all my family and friends together too.

nooniesgal

Try not to worry yet!  There is still LOTS of time before your big day!   I would honestly just let people know that you actually don't have a shower planned yet if people ask, but you can't wait for your little one to come soon!  You can invite people over for a meet the baby party after and have everyone celebrate with you then if you don't have a shower.  But don't discount it yet, there is still lots of time.

mrs.g_6708

I'm sorry A. I had someone backout on throwing a wedding shower for me and it really hurt my feelings (I had other showers, so I got over it). We have been in a new town for a year and half and I have made new girlfriends, but I'm not really close enough for any of them to plan a shower for me. I admit, I have totally cried over the fact that I might not be getting a baby shower. Makes me feel like a total loser.

*KC*

Aww maybe they're trying to surprise you?  Throw you off?

Qmommy

Okay... i don't know why people think throwing a shower is a lot of work?!  I threw a shower for my SIL in January and the only work I really did was A) go to the store to buy invitations (well I made them at home), paper plates, cups, food, drinks, and flowers and prepare simple snack foods the day of the shower.  I spent a total of $50 bucks and the shower was great!  People enjoyed the food, we played cheesy games, my SIL opened gifts... walla!  People don't need stupid favors.  It's really simple.  If you can convince one of your friends or mom to "host" the shower while you take care of the details you can still have a shower.  Just have one at home.  

MWoodside

That is bogue of your friends to back out.  I understand their reasons, but they never should have said anything in the first place then.  I'm sorry!

KRISTA555

I understand!!!! We are currently stationed in Georgia where I have literally zero friends besides DH...  and our families are both across the country.   I don't think I'm getting a shower and it makes me a little sad.   

I am the last on my side of the family to have children, and I have thrown 4 baby showers for my sister/sister-in-law....  so sometimes I feel a little jipped, even though it's noones fault.   I know they would throw me one if they could. 

KRISTA555

Qmommy:

Okay... i don't know why people think throwing a shower is a lot of work?!  I threw a shower for my SIL in January and the only work I really did was A) go to the store to buy invitations (well I made them at home), paper plates, cups, food, drinks, and flowers and prepare simple snack foods the day of the shower.  I spent a total of $50 bucks and the shower was great!  People enjoyed the food, we played cheesy games, my SIL opened gifts... walla!  People don't need stupid favors.  It's really simple.  If you can convince one of your friends or mom to "host" the shower while you take care of the details you can still have a shower.  Just have one at home.  

depends on your personality.  I've thrown 4 showers and it was A LOT of work because I admittedly made it a lot of work.  It's sort of in my nature to make uncomplicated things complicated because it has to be "just right".. lol!   Funny though, I'm only like that when planning someone else's party.  Dh and I got married in front of 2 witnesses and the officiant and his wife standing on a bridge over the Savannah River.

bluejayway

KRISTA555:

I understand!!!! We are currently stationed in Georgia where I have literally zero friends besides DH...  and our families are both across the country.   I don't think I'm getting a shower and it makes me a little sad.   

I am the last on my side of the family to have children, and I have thrown 4 baby showers for my sister/sister-in-law....  so sometimes I feel a little jipped, even though it's noones fault.   I know they would throw me one if they could. 

I'm in the same position as you. We live in England, about 6,000 miles away from our close friends and family (who are spread all over the US anyway). I am kind of sad I won't get a shower just because it would mean hanging out with my favorite ladies. But at the same time, I would feel really awkward having a day where the sole purpose was to just give me presents. So, I'm ok with the way things are in the end.