Totally lost it tonight

addison_clark

I have never posted here before.  I have not been diagnosed with PPD but something is wrong with me.  I felt fine after DD was born, then about a month ago I started to feel depressed and angry.  The simplest thing would set me off.  I have days where I cannot get off the couch for feeling so sorry for myself.  I skipped a friend's wedding bc I felt so terrible about myself.  Who does that?!  But then I have days where I am my normal happy self. 

Tonight, my 2 year old son threw a temper tantrum.  The worst ever.  DH is out of town and I lost it.  I screamed at him and I spanked him twice.  I spanked him bc I was angry at him.  It did absolutely no good.  It made him more upset and now I am hysterical with guilt.  I am becoming a terrible mom and I know that I am a really really good mom.  I don't know what to do with myself.  My DH thinks I should talk to someone, but what is there to say? 

I am just rambling, not sure what I am asking, I guess I just want someone to tell me this is normal and it goes away soon.

AZAudiGirl

I can tell you it is normal but I can't tell you it will go away by itself. I suggest that you do go talk to someone. I wish you the best of luck and don't be too hard on yourself for losing it....it happens. I remember crying and screaming at the top of my lungs while holding LO. When I opened my eyes he was crying and shaking. He looked so scared. I got help the next day and am feeling so much better now. Best of luck and I hope you feel better soon.

*speedracer*

1. you are not a terrible mom

2. everyone flips out at one time or another.  everyone!

3. your son won't hold it against you. 

4. tomorrow is a new day.

if your DH thinks you should talk to somebody, then try it out.  sometimes just rambling to a 3rd party who you don't really know feels really good.  they can give you some ideas of things to try when you feel that anger bubbling up.  i was skeptical about talking to a therapist too, but it felt like an hour of mental vacation where i could just vent about whatever.

(hugs)

haleymay18

PPD can strike at anytime up to a year PP.

I would see someone.

Oh and you arent a terrible mother, children are very forgiving.

soon2Bkranz

I am in the exact same boat as you. I feel lame and embarrassed...Just wanted you to know you are not alone...And our kids are both pretty close in age.

charmcitygirl

Please don't be down on yourself.  We have all felt out of control and helpless at some point or another.  That doesn't make you a bad mom.  Just makes you a great mom who is having a hard time.

I would suggest talking to someone.  I might even suggest that medication would make the stressful and low points not so low.  I have been on Lexapro for several months and I have gotten frustrated with Jacob but not to the point where I was before.

This is HARD work.  But you are a great mom and I just think you need some help!