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Husband who stays home
Anyone have a husband who stays home? I wonder about resources or suggestions. We live in a small town and are new there too! He is looking forward to it but I still think there will be challenges around the corner
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Re: Husband who stays home
Sorry can't help with your question but is "Baylor" your baby's name? it is on our list for a girl and have never heard anyone else use it.
ps. my husband would love nothing more then to stay at home and hopefully someday he will be able to, lucky man
My husband is a SAHD. It can be difficult sometimes, particularly if you are new and in a small town (that was exactly our situation a year ago). You may not have a good friend base built up, and in a small town there may not be as many 'progressive' type thinkers for something that's a growing trend but still really unusual. Depending on the community (ours is very conservative), people in general range anywhere from helpful but clueless (almost *everyone* assumes DH is unemployed and tries to make suggestions about him getting a job, despite being assured multiple times that he's not looking) to fearful (it took DH a long time for any of the the SAHM's to not give him the creepy child molester look at library story time) to condescending to outright rude.
There's some online resources you can Google if DH likes the online community, or look for SAH parent resources in your area. It may be difficult for your DH to find other SAHD's, or even to establish a good network among SAHM's at first, because there may not be many of the first around and some (not all, but some) SAHM's are not comfortable with a SAHD in "the group". He should keep trying, though, it's important for him to have a network. Structured activities and groups are good 'ins' to meet people, and some even though they may have gender-biased names ("Moms of preschoolers") can be accepting of dads...eventually he'll be able to find a group he's comfortable with. Some women even seem to enjoy having DH in their group, hard to explain (the oddity seems to amuse them once they got to know him).
You may also have some challenges, as well. People sometimes make assumptions/judgments about all working moms, and a working mom with a SAHD is in even more of a minority. People I wouldn't have expected to have dropped comments as though I'm 'forcing' DH to do this, or that my role in our family is abnormal in a bad way. Most people get over it once the novelty wears off. It also can be a little difficult depending on you and your DH's dynamic, because prior to LO (for example) in our family I was more of the runner of the household, and once DH became a SAHD he took over. It was difficult at first for me not to micro-manage, when he did things differently than I had done. Sometimes it's hard to realize that different is not the same as wrong.
GL to you both, it's not the norm and there are unique challenges, but it can work very, very well as a good family dynamic!
DH sold his company when I was 8 months pregnant. The original plan was that he was going to go back to work when DD was about 3 months old but she's now 15 months and he's still looking for the right job. I'm working to cover health insurance but plan to quit once he starts working again.
It's okay. He's fine with it, me- honestly- not so much. I wish he would do more around the house during the day so I don't have to do as much in the evenings and on the weekends. It's amazing how much I can accomplish around the house on the weekends while DD is napping and absolutely how little DH manages to accomplishes during the week. Sorry I'm ranting......
Try to get DH signed up for some classes, it helped my DH a lot to get out of the house with DD even just a little. We live in a tiny town too but found a kindermusic class through the local music school. There are also a lot of classes at the YMCA if you have one nearby. Library's also have story time and stuff too. DH also loves take walks in nearby parks, we invested in a nice jogging stroller and they are out and about all the time when the weather is nice. Also, try to encourage to sign up for something in the evenings or weekends- a class, volunteer work, something, just to give him something to do outside of the house away from you and the kids. Initially I was a little annoyed when DH wanted to take sailing classes on the weekends because it was the only time I was really home but I realized after he had the first class and saw the positive change in his mood that he really needs the time away.
Yes, my DH has been a SAHD with DS #1 for 17 months now. He'll watch DS#2 too when he arrives in May. The best advice is sign them up for classes. DS and DH attend YMCA swim classes and Music Together classes. There are also local SAHD groups through www.meetup.com. Good luck!