Do you think this is rude? — The Bump
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Do you think this is rude?

So we were getting bundled up to play outside this afternoon, and I hear kids playing outside.  I look out our front door, and the kids are sledding in our driveway!!!

I saw the middle-school boy who lives across the street, and then who I assume were about 4 of his friends.  Running up our driveway and sledding down.  WTF?!?

They have a hilly driveway too.  Maybe too steep to walk up/down, I suppose.  Our driveway has a little hill (not too steep).  But WTF, seriously?  I wouldn't have minded had they rang our doorbell and asked, but we're not close with these neighbors (just say hi in passing).  Do kids really just do this kind of stuff?  I would have NEVER done that, at least not without asking permission.

I made DH go outside and ask his mother to have him stop.  I don't want the liability (if he falls in our yard, it's OUR insurance).  Plus, it's just rude of them to do it in the first place without asking permission.

Would you have been pissed too?  I'm not trying to be the crotchety neighbor, but seriously, why couldn't they have played in their own yard, in the street, at a local park...or at least asked?

Re: Do you think this is rude?

  • imageMrs_M&M:

    I made DH go outside and ask his mother to have him stop.  I don't want the liability (if he falls in our yard, it's OUR insurance).  Plus, it's just rude of them to do it in the first place without asking permission.

    They should have asked, and then I too would have told them no for the same reason. it's such a litigious society and I don't want that on my insurance if somebody gets hurt. My kid and or friends kids - no problem, but not just a neighbor I don't even talk to.

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  • Totally rude. What did the mother say? I hope she didn't know and was embarrassed. Otherwise, she's even more rude!


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  • I guess I'm in the minority, I don't think it is rude (maybe that's just not the right word), the kids probably didn't think anything of it, they were just having fun. Half the kids on my street were all over the place tubing. But that being said, I am pretty friendly with all of my neighbors so I would not have minded.
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  • I think this totally depends on your relationship with your neighbors.  Growing up, every house on our street had kids, we all played together, and when we went out it was a free for all.  However, as of right now, I know there are kids in our neighborhood, but we don't talk with any of our neighbors except the ones right next door who are my parents age & have a daughter my age.  So...yea, if some random kids were playing in my driveway, I'd be annoyed that they didn't ask. BUT, I know when our little one grows up she'll be more than welcome to play in our neighbor's yard or driveway b/c we're obviously close with them.  Each person's situation is different & it really depends on your neighborhood relations.

  • I would have felt the same way as you - and had them stop as well!
  • imageMrsHughesNC:
    What did the mother say? I hope she didn't know and was embarrassed. Otherwise, she's even more rude!

    I guess she just said, "Okay" and then asked her son to stop.

    She's not quite the poster child for class, so that doesn't surprise me.  Her son is also the kid who cuts through our yard to get to his friend's house.  We're the first house on the street, and his friend lives on the corner, yet he'd cut thru our grass to get to his friend's house (instead of taking the sidewalk, which would prob. be 10 more steps).  We invested several thousand dollars this past fall in new sod and grass treatments, so we had to ask her to have her son stop going thru our yard b/c even we weren't supposed to be on the grass (it could have ruined the sod).

    We're friendly with our neighbors, but not friends (we are BY FAR the youngest in the neighborhood - most have kids in college or older).  It's not like my kid plays with their kids - - then it'd be different.

    Overall, I think it's plain rude to start playing in someone elses yard without asking permission.  For all I know, he asked his mom and she said it'd be okay, so I can't blame him 100%, b/c like I said, I'm sure his mom doesn't teach him much of right and wrong).  Oh well...that's why I sent DH over (he's Mr. Nice Guy, so I'm sure she wasn't bothered by him talking to her).

  • I would not want them in my driveway if I didnt know them or their parents more then a hello. everyone is right that people will sue over anything these days. It would be one thing if you were friendly with them or something. Its especially odd because their driveway is just as steep and good for sledding as yours. I have an 8 yr. old stepson and would be upset if he just was sledding in some random driveway. now its one thing if its a bunch of kids going in each others driveways but not the one of someone they dotn really know.

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  • I think it is rude because the sledding with make your driveway more icy.  Our neighbors asked if their kids could sled in our yard, after I offered in passing months ago, and I told her that is fine as long as they are on our yard and not the driveway.  I was concerned it would be a sheet of ice that we'd never be able to shovel away.  We don't have nice grass by any means so that isn't a worry of ours. 

     But I definitely think they should have asked first. I would definitely be annoyed.

  • Thanks everyone!  I just wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting in how I felt.  =)
  • Same thing happened to us only it was our front yard not our driveway and I didn't notice it until after the fact when I looked out the front windows and saw that there were footprints all over the front yard and sledding tracks :)
  • imageunc00ref:
    imageMrs_M&M:

    I made DH go outside and ask his mother to have him stop.  I don't want the liability (if he falls in our yard, it's OUR insurance).  Plus, it's just rude of them to do it in the first place without asking permission.

    They should have asked, and then I too would have told them no for the same reason. it's such a litigious society and I don't want that on my insurance if somebody gets hurt. My kid and or friends kids - no problem, but not just a neighbor I don't even talk to.

     

    this.

     

    i think it would be totally different if your kids were friends w/this kid and his friends, but since obviously that's not the case, i think its totally rude and wouldn't want the liability.  

    i'm a co-sleeping, baby wearing, cloth diapering momma!
    ~proud to have breastfed for 16 months, 3 weeks~


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  • yes, i would've been pissed as well.

    the first year we were in our house we got about 3" of snow and i was at work.  DH called me to tell me something else and then casually mentioned that the kids were sledding down the hill in our back yard.  i was pissed as well and told him he needed to get them out of there ASAP.  once i explained the liability, he was in total agreement.  when i was growing up, we always asked, but when he was growing up they just roamed the neighborhood, doing what they wanted (they also knew everyone really well).

    Baby Charchie born 12/22/2011
  • Last night DH, his best friend and about 8 neighbor kids were sledding in a neighbors yard... Per the kids "he gave us permission a couple of years ago" lol!  They all had a blast!  And no one came out and yelled at them....

    I would have probably let the kids have their fun - we don't get this kind of weather often, so why not be nice and neighborly?!

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  • imageQCBride06:

    Last night DH, his best friend and about 8 neighbor kids were sledding in a neighbors yard... Per the kids "he gave us permission a couple of years ago" lol!  They all had a blast!  And no one came out and yelled at them....

    I would have probably let the kids have their fun - we don't get this kind of weather often, so why not be nice and neighborly?!

    it's one thing if permission has been granted in the past, but IMO it's very disrespectful to suddenly be prancing through someone's yard w/o permission.  maybe i'm just jaded though after some of the things the neighborhood kids have done to our property in the past, there's no way in hell i'm granting them permission to sled down the hill in my backyard when they can't be respectful any other time.
    Baby Charchie born 12/22/2011
  • imageuncharch7:
    imageQCBride06:

    Last night DH, his best friend and about 8 neighbor kids were sledding in a neighbors yard... Per the kids "he gave us permission a couple of years ago" lol!  They all had a blast!  And no one came out and yelled at them....

    I would have probably let the kids have their fun - we don't get this kind of weather often, so why not be nice and neighborly?!

    it's one thing if permission has been granted in the past, but IMO it's very disrespectful to suddenly be prancing through someone's yard w/o permission.  maybe i'm just jaded though after some of the things the neighborhood kids have done to our property in the past, there's no way in hell i'm granting them permission to sled down the hill in my backyard when they can't be respectful any other time.

    Yeah, charch, that's how I feel.  Honestly, due to the liability, I'd be nervous to have them sled in our yard regardless, but if they would have simply asked, I would have allowed it (while nervously hoping nothing happened).  But it's ICY, man!  DH has tried several times to shovel our driveway w/o success, and he's slipped several times.  I mean, I think they came to our driveway since it's less steep than theirs, and it was too icy for them to get up/down their driveway. 

    And it wasn't even just my neighbor - - it was his random friends too (that I've never seen before).  If something happened to him, I'd hope we wouldn't get sued since we 'know' the parents.  But what about his friends?  If the little girl broke her arm, her parents could sue us - - and we didn't even KNOW they were using our yard!!  THAT is why they should ask permission in the least - to simply make us aware of what they are doing and give us the chance to decide how our yard is used.

    If we would have been outside as well, that would have been different, b/c I'm sure it would have been fun to join in the sledding fun with them.  But it was all of a sudden, kids playing in our driveway, without asking, without us having even been outside.  When they have their own driveway, across the street.

    Never has this boy asked my permission to play in our yard, to sled in our driveway, to use our yard to cut through to his friends.  It's the respectful thing to do, to simply knock on the door (or ask me when she sees me outside)... "Hey Mrs. M&M - do you mind if I cut through your yard to visit Johnny over there?"

    It would have never been okay for me, as a child/teen, to just start playing in someone elses yard.  In fact, when I sold girl scout cookies, or trick-or-treeted, we walked up and down each driveway (didn't just run across the yards).  It's rude to just trample through someone's grass/plants.  And lazy.  Kids will be kids, but parents should teach their children basic manners and respect for other people's things/property.  If they want to sled or run around the neighborhood, they should stay out of private property unless asking permission first, right? 

    And it puts us in a weird position to have to say something anyways.  I don't want to be the mean neighbor, but I also don't want to responsibility/liability of having kids playing in and running through our yard on a regular basis.  I don't run a daycare.  They have their own yards, and public areas, to play in.  And when DD is older, sure, they can come and play WHEN SHE IS OUTSIDE too.

  • I was just stating my opinion on the situation, we are definitely all entitled to handle things differently.  You asked, so I replied.  Just glad you ladies don't live in my neighborhood, we just do things differently but I guess that is a rarity......  DH and I just don't worry about little things like kids walking in our yard, etc.
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  • imageQCBride06:
    I was just stating my opinion on the situation, we are definitely all entitled to handle things differently.  You asked, so I replied.  Just glad you ladies don't live in my neighborhood, we just do things differently but I guess that is a rarity......  DH and I just don't worry about little things like kids walking in our yard, etc.

    I appreciate the response, yes, I was asking what y'all would have done.  But you implied I wasn't being 'nice and neighborly'.  Whatever, that's your opinion.  I just don't want to get sued, and don't want the THOUSANDS of dollars we put into sod in our yard wasted b/c kids walked on our grass.  Maybe their parents would rather get a bill from us having them replace the sod?

    Glad you don't live in my neighborhood too - I'm sure I'd have to ask you to keep your kids from playing on my property too!  =)

  • Apparently I hit a sore spot and offended you and honestly that was not my intention at all, so I do apologize!

    I guess I should know by now that when people pose these kinds of questions they really are just looking for people who agree with them.  I need to remember that!! Big Smile

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  • imageQCBride06:

    Apparently I hit a sore spot and offended you and honestly that was not my intention at all, so I do apologize!

    I guess I should know by now that when people pose these kinds of questions they really are just looking for people who agree with them.  I need to remember that!! Big Smile

    Eh, not offended.  This is an online message board, right?  LOL!

    And yes, honestly I was totally trying to find people who agreed to give my issue a sanity check!  =)

     

  • I just read everything and the sod thing would have also pissed me off, so now I get where you were coming from. We also put over $1000+ into our lawn this fall and all of our neighbors made sure none of their kids walked or even stepped in it. The snow thing I could have overlooked but not the sod/grass and since there was a pre existing issue, this all makes sense now!!! I hope they didn't do any damage!!
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