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Single Parents
Frustrated
So the father of my child decided to text me and let me know that i shouldn't contact him unless its about the baby. Now why in the world would I want to text him to let HIM know how the baby is? If he honestly cares shouldn't HE be the one contacting ME to find out how everything is going? I'm sorry if that sounds wrong but he is the one that walked away and goes about his life like its nothing. AND on top of it the friend that he lives with (who is a horrible influence on my ex) has the nerve to threaten me with a custody battle?!? First off, how is this any of his business and my ex is the one CHOOSING not to be here and to go about his normal life and start dating other people. Which, whatever, that's his choice but don't come at me and threaten me. Plus he is the one up to his eyeballs in debt and without a stable living environment. I don't understand how they can do this. How does he get to not care now but have any kind of say in the care my child gets in the end? Its just not fair. This baby has only been a part of me for 10 weeks and it is already my world. I don't want my child to not know their father by any means but its also hard to want this kind of a person to be a significant part of my baby's life. I just needed to vent because this is beyond frustrating.
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Re: Frustrated
It can be horribly frustrating!!
H hasn't seen dd in a week and 4 days, by choice. It's so easy for the guy to just live whatever life they want to live, while we are doing everything we have to!
I want h apart of dds life for her sake. However, I would rather him not be around now, when she won't remember it as opposed to when she's 3,4,or 5 and asking where daddy is every 5 seconds. Though I may end up crossing that bridge when the time comes.
As for letting him know stuff....I won't be telling H anything unless dd is in the hospital. If he wants to know anything else he can contact me asking.
Thanks. I just don't understand their mentality I guess. I mean he is missing out on one of life's most amazing things. He wont be at the doctor appointments, he wont be there when I find out if its a boy or a girl, he wont feel the baby moving, and he most certainly wont be there when the baby is born. And that's all because he is choosing to act like an immature little kid. I know that he's the one that's missing out but its hard to not get upset about it.
I know that its nothing my baby will ever remember but I will, and I am already resenting him for it. And i don't want to have a bad relationship with the father of my child but he's leaving me no other options.
i'm dealing with this exactly myself...
hang in there...everything will work itself out even if it hurts now...
The only rationalization that exists for mindsets like that is that he's terrified and too immature to face the situation at hand. I'm dealing with one of 'em myself, and sometimes it helps me to think that I don't have to share my baby with anyone if I don't want to. I've felt kicks from the outside for weeks now, but no one else has. I've been keeping them all for myself. [: Plus, there is a very slim chance he won't look back and regret all of the wonderful things he missed.
Not that it helps, but you're decidedly not alone. The bump has helped me relate to people and share experiences without needing a SO to be there for me.
I think that you will find in time that you feel less upset about this, and more just feel sorry for him. I know for me, in the beginning, I spent a lot of time feeling so sorry for myself and for DS. Then all of a sudden I realized that it was STBX's loss. It is truly such an amazing thing, and I know that he will look back one day and regret missing out on these first years.
I know that probably doesn't help much right now, because you're right, it is so hard to not get upset about it. But hang in there, it WILL get better.