Inviting distant friends??

Lilac_80

My sister, brother, sister-in-law, aunt, and best friend are throwing me a baby shower in April in the town I grew up in. My sister asked for a list of the friends I would like to invite. The problem I am having is that none of my friends live close to the shower location. I'm talking about 2.5 hours or more away. I moved to a new area when I got married 2 years ago and haven't had time to make many new friends.So even if they were to move the shower to my current town, it is still the same distance away from most of my friends.

Do I still invite my friends even though it hours and hours of driving for them? Do I invite friends who live in different states? I don't want them to feel obligated to drive 5 hours round trip for a 2 hour baby shower. Help!

BarbieNCSU

In my circle of friends if I didn't invite them (even though they live about 500-800 miles away) they would be upset. IMO if they can make it they will and if they can't then at least they wouldn't feel snubbed. I get invited to baby showers all the time that are out of state and nine times out of ten I can not attend, but I still send a gift. I threw two baby showers last year that had the same thing - a few friends that were very far away that were invited just to be nice - not because they were expected to come.

mysticporter

There's two schools of thought on this, the 'honor to be invited' and the 'invited just for a gift'.  I'm of the opinion that if a person wouldn't reasonably be expected to come (i.e., lives out of state), unless you are very close to them and *know* they'd prefer to receive an invite to feel included, don't send one.  (Although it's always nice to be thought of, I couldn't care less if someone sends me an invite just for the sake of sending it.)  The ones that are 2 1/2 hours away are a little tricky...if they are your good friends, I'd still invite them, because they could make that in a day trip (I'd be willing to drive that for a good friend).  Perhaps think about whether you'd be willing to drive that distance for them to give perspective on how they'd feel about being invited, whether you're close enough with them that they'd consider it or if they aren't that close to you and there's no way they'd come. 

Margo415

I'm in the same boat.  I am having a small shower in Nashville... I've been here for  5 years.  My hometown is 9 hours away in northern Illinois.  I haven't been able to go to a lot of their showers/weddings up north, but my sister and mom want to throw me a shower in Illinois.  I really don't have that many close friends down here and it would be great to get extra help, but I don't want to offend any of my old friends by making them feel obligated to get me anything.  I always try to send something up north when someone gets married or has a baby, but I almost never make it back in person.  I think that two and a half hours is close enough that you should invite them anyway.  If they can't come, at least they know that you still consider them a friend and want them to be involved in your life.  

Congrats and have fun! 

EastCoastBride

I could have written myticporters response! By and large, I didn't invite distant people, but there were a couple exceptions. I just feel as showers are about giving gifts, caution should be taken in creating the guest list.

hopefulmom

If they are your good friends and you are still in touch with them fairly regularly then I would definitely invite them.  Most of the guests who came to my DD's baby shower had to travel from an hour to five hours away.  She invited those that lived five hours away because they were close friends, figuring they woudln't come but knew they woudl be upset if they didn't get an invite.  They all came...just drove together.  Her DH is from 3 1/2 hours away so his family and friends came as well.  Fortunately, our family is only an hour away. 

ShellShockedMama

I assume they're close friends, so I'd invite them. Then it'd be up to them whether or not to attend. A friend of mine just gave me an invite (to her own shower, but that's another issue ) and she's two hours away. I haven't yet decided if I want to go, but I certainly don't feel obligated.

Besides, maybe they'll want to make a long weekend of it or something. Leave it up to them! Just don't get your feelings hurt if they decide they don't want to go.