Postpartum Depression

depression ?

I had what I considered normal "baby blues" after giving birth. Around 3-4 wks pp, things seemed to get better & the crying stopped and I felt better.

It seems lately I have been really depressed. I had to start working again adn Im thankful that I can work from home and still be at home with baby. But because I have to take time out to nurse, etc, then I have to also work in the evenings as well to make up that time. I feel from 7 am to 10 pm I am constantly working or nursing and then I just pass out. I always heard that around 3 months things get better with the baby, but Im constantly thinking that she doesnt love me and she doesnt know who I am. I feel very inadequate as a mother and am not the kind of mom I thought I always would be. I had also always thought I would be a sahm, even when I was pregnant. But dh just cant support us and I harbor resentment towards him because of that. I just dont know what to do about all these feelings.

Re: depression ?

  • you sound really overwhelmed.  could you look into getting a mother's helper a few hours a week, maybe a high school girl or friend?  They could keep an eyeball on the baby so you could take a nap or focus on some work.  I know i couldn't have done a job at home with a 2 month old; i could barely make myself dinner!  ((hugs)) it does get better as they get older.
  • I was diagnosed with PPD very early on and was put on medication. The meds helped tremendously but I still definitley have moments where I think Layne doesn't know me or love me. I think general anxiety about motherhood is very, very normal. It may help to get a therapist who specializes in PPD issues. Hang in there!
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  • I think you are suffering from what a lot of us have to bear with:

    being a 1st time mom,going back to work when you thought you wouldn't have to, having a hectic schedule, dealing with hormones that are everywhere and an infant that has demands that you are feeling so guilty on meeting.

    IT"S SOOOO OVERWHELMING!Crying

    I KNOW you are doing a phenomenal job.

    You are stressed and overtired, overworked, and feeling disconnected from your baby because of all the demands you now have.  The feelings of resentment are normal and quite real.  I often say to myself, "what if I married a man who had a lot of money and could afford a nanny to help me".  Then I realize that everything in life happens for a reason and that my life is the way it is for that very reason.

    Everything is perfectly normal in what you are going through and what you are feeling.

    If you are feeling like the daily grind is getting the better of you, I would talk to your doc about getting a very small dosage of klonopin to take on an as needed basis.  This is safe for Breastfeeding moms and the med I've been on.

    And just because it is 3 months PP, doesn't mean you won't have post-partum hormonal fluctuations, and stressors on your psyche. Your body just went through a tremendous amount of change in the last 9 months, it doesn't just go away in 12 weeks.  It continues for a long time up and down. 

    Some moms can ride that roller coaster very well.  I am not one of them. 

    I need continual calmness or I get very edgy and anxious, often overwhelmingly depressed.

    Take a deep breath and know that you can get help if you want it and it will help and it WILL GET BETTER!!!

    xoxo

     

    God Bless our sweet baby James. Our son, born 11/22/09. Unplanned, Emergency C-section image
    "Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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