20 somethings- would this offend you?

jusbex

My Dad loves to ask debate inducing ?s on fb and a few days ago he asked what is the most pressing social issue in the U.S. today.

This woman responded with this " We are so much a product of what we learn in the first 7 years of life. Providing the utmost quality to our young children is usually through parents. Many elements contribute but there's nothing so impactful as having children when we're over 30 and married happily. "

I was offended and responded with this " At 25, I am under 30, and yet feel quite confident I can provide "the utmost quality" to my young child. "

She then proceeds to PM, so we can continue the discussion. Um, no thanks.

What do you think? Am I being overly sensitive?

MrsWanee

it wouldn't offend me. i don't think it was worded in an offensive way. it just sounds like their opinion.

i have gotten a little bit of crap for having a baby at 23 (i'm 24 now), but i don't care. DH and i have been married for 2 years. he's in law school now and he will have more time with LO now than if he was a first or second year associate at a big firm. and we have a supportive family.

ETA: it also sounds like that woman doesn't really know the meaning of words and also is trying to use big words where they don't belong. i wouldn't take her too seriously if i were you!

majors31

let it go.  you can't change stupid.

hriesen4

I would get offended.  Just bc you're young doesn't mean you're dumb.  I went to a college w/ a lot of returning adults.  One woman told the class that she thought everyone should have two degrees: one when you're young and don't know what's going on and the other when you're older and have a clue.  WTF?  Sorry that I have my sh!t together at 21 and you didn't.

nataliegrace06

I probably would've said exactly what you said. It would've irked me a bit but I guess I'm used to people thinking I'm too young.

wordtoyourmother

I take offense to that statement and I'm 30.  Blanket statements like that are just plain stupid.   I can introduce to her some very goofy thirty year olds who still don't have it together. 

suscq

I'm over 30 and think that is a crock of sh*t.  One of the most awesome mothers I know was 23 when she had her LO.  I don't think I am any better of a mom now than I would have been 5 or 10 yrs ago, it just took me this long to find the man I wanted to start a family with.

Delby

wordtoyourmother:

I take offense to that statement and I'm 30.  Blanket statements like that are just plain stupid.   I can introduce to her some very goofy thirty year olds who still don't have it together. 

I'm 29 and I would be a little offended, but I would have given her my 2 cents and let it go at that (as it sounds you did). Like a PP said "you cant change stupid."

CowboysWife04

majors31:

let it go.  you can't change stupid.

This!!

dragonsmercy

I love getting into debates like this, so whether it offended me or not, I'd get right into it. It doesn't offend me, really, though, because she's probably basing the statement on her own personal experience, and that of her friends... she's probably one of those people who didn't really "mature" until she hit 28 or 29 area... That, or she may have had a lot of stupid teen friends who got knocked up. I'm 25, and I've been "ready" to have children for the last 3 or 4 years, so really it's just a maturity thing. If you're not ready to have children, then you won't be a good parent. If you are, then you're going to dedicate yourself to giving your children the best quality of life you can. My SIL, however, is only 4 months younger than me, and while she loves children in and of themselves, there's NO WAY she's ready to be a parent. She hasn't settled down to even a single job yet, never mind a stable relationship where she will contemplate having kids. She'll probably be one of those 30something first-time parents.

ETA: Before I offend half the people on the board... I have nothing against teen moms, or those who unexpectedly got pregnant. I'm referring more to those who didn't plan to get pregnant and then didn't bother looking after the child properly, because they weren't ready to give up a party-type lifestyle. I do know some moms like that, and their kids are still having problems, and they're ages currently range from 25 to 15. And this particular person was married at the time... she was just a serious party girl (and still is), and her kids have been half-raised by their grandmother, and I know it's been tough on the kids.

tabi_ja

I am 26. I have a bachelor's degree and have been married for 2 1/2 years to a man I dated for 8 years before that.  My DH has a great job and we have built a strong support system around us.  I spent my college years (and after) working in daycares and schools to learn how to care for children.

My friend, J, is 36. He JUST finished his degree and only has a job because DH hounded him into applying for his company.  He literally never applied anywhere else.  He lives alone with his cat, because he tends to become creepy-stalker-guy whenever a girl talks to him.  And he is scared to even hold Miles because of the drool (seriously).

You can't tell me J is better suited to being a parent just because he's 10 years older than me. 

jusbex

Exactly! I knew I ed yall!

yodo19

I wish I was a 20-something.  That's it.

sgrl

My sister had her kids at 18 and 19 and she's an EXCELLENT mother. That woman's just dumb. I'd laugh at her. (I'm 29 so I guess I'm too young and immature as well!)

Shlei

It wouldn't bug me. It is just an opinion.

Cullum13

hriesen4:

I would get offended.  Just bc you're young doesn't mean you're dumb.  I went to a college w/ a lot of returning adults.  One woman told the class that she thought everyone should have two degrees: one when you're young and don't know what's going on and the other when you're older and have a clue.  WTF?  Sorry that I have my sh!t together at 21 and you didn't.

 

I am 27 but this is what I wanted to tell people when I got married at 23 and again when I had my baby at 26. Sorry I am more mature than you were at my age and I have my Sh!t together sooner than you did. Not everyone matures at the same rate. Hell I think Maci on Teen Mom is a better mother than some 30 somethings I know. Ugh! People are so ignorant sometimes.

bim38106

wordtoyourmother:

I take offense to that statement and I'm 30.  Blanket statements like that are just plain stupid.   I can introduce to her some very goofy thirty year olds who still don't have it together. 

exactly. every situation is different. What makes 30 such a magic number? I'm in my late 20s but that statement still irks me and is a pretty narrow-minded, naive statement. And honestly, I can bet without even knowing her that DH and I were in a better position at 26/27 to have a child then she ever will be.. if she wanted to go there

mrsbird1129

wordtoyourmother:

I take offense to that statement and I'm 30.  Blanket statements like that are just plain stupid.   I can introduce to her some very goofy thirty year olds who still don't have it together. 

This, but I'm 29, which believe me is close enough to 30.

ALittleBirdy

yes. I'm 26 and happily married, etc with our first.  My SIL is about to be 40 next month and has 2 small kids with her ex BF the coke addict. 

 Clearly what the woman said is true.