Anybody dealing with jealously between grandparents? (oops, and it turned into a rant..)

Chief_Carters_Lady

It's really one sided..My mom gets so jealous when my in laws get to see DS..DH is usually off on Fridays, but today he had to go to training. So instead of having to pay for another day of day care, MIL offered to watch DS. I told my mom on the way to work this morning, and she got mad. I tried to change the subject and told her DS was shreaking this morning. She said it was because he didn't want to go over to my in laws. Then she got really ugly about it.

My in laws have been great. We are having septic issues (which my land lord is dragging his feet to fix), and my IL's are letting us take showers, and wash our clothes at their house.

I've really had a bad week, between the septic, a few other things, and now issues with my mom.

Does anyone have any advise on how to deal with this?

FrickandFrack

I would tell her that you are tired of hearing negative comments and that you will not subject DS to any negativity.

MrsBatty

I was afraid of that happening and thought about it often before DD was born. Thankfully, both sides have acted like adults since she's been born and there has been no bickering.  If that crap started up I would seriously not have it.  That is just something I don't need with all the other stress in my life.

Uiowachick01

This sounds like my mother. DH's entire family has not met DS yet, they live in Romania.  We are planning a trip in the summer to go to Romania for 1 month and my mom says why would we go there?

She keeps saying they should come here, but they can't get visas to come and she knows this.  I call her Debbie Downer because she always puts a negative outlook on everything. 

staceyk110

My in-laws are soooo crazy jealous of my parents. It is absolutely ridiculous! Neither of our parents live very close, both are about 4 hours away, but my parents make an effort to see our LO every few weeks. We also go visit my family a lot because they have room for us to stay, have a crib etc... whereas DH's parents claim they never have room and are too busy to come see us more than once every few months. So, they are very jealous over any time my family gets to see LO. I have no advice for you, but I sympathize with your situation. Can I please share a little rant on this topic too? For the past four years our families have always done Thanksgiving together. This year my IL's decided they didn't  want to do this anymore becuase they didn't want to have to fight to hold my son. Seriously? Like my mom and dad are going to pull out the boxing gloves? Ugh. So instead of putting their grandchild first and spending Thanksgiving with him, they stayed home alone.  Good luck- I really hope things get better!!

arob2009

I think I mentioned to my mom once about "choices"--she chooses to participate in her hobbys on the weekend whereas MIL chooses to SAH and take care of DS.  A few weeks later, my mom mentioned that she had been thinking about what I said and she realized that she couldnt do what MIL does (watch DS everyday) because it is such hard work.  She would rather visit and babysit.  I think having a real conversation with her might help??

t.bird

tell her to stuff it.

i can't stand it when i hear about parents acting like children.

my mother watches alex 4 days a week, my mil watches her 1 day a week- we also bring alex to the in-laws at least every other weekend or so. there is no fighting or bickering- both sets of g-parents see her when they can & they're more than satisfied.

fighting or being jealous over your grankid is just ridic.

Chief_Carters_Lady

t.bird:

tell her to stuff it.

i can't stand it when i hear about parents acting like children.

my mother watches alex 4 days a week, my mil watches her 1 day a week- we also bring alex to the in-laws at least every other weekend or so. there is no fighting or bickering- both sets of g-parents see her when they can & they're more than satisfied.

fighting or being jealous over your grankid is just ridic.

Thank you, this actually made me laugh. I need to sit down with my mom and have a talk I think..

briez01

Sounds like my MIL. She is a Hairstylist and off on mondays. She said when DD was born she would keep her on Mondays. She has made excuses for almost 3 months now every monday. My mom watches DD Monday-Friday. So MIL thinks I can't spend anytime with my family on weekends since they get to see DD all week.

MIL wants me to clean out our guest room so she can come spend the night on Sundays. She lives 25 min away. UMMM I DON'T THINK SO! If she wants to see DD she can come out in the mornings, or go to my moms to see her.

Both of my sisters are getting married this year. We do wedding stuff on saturdays. MIL gets so mad and throws a huge fit almost every weekend. She thinks I should drive DD to her 25 min away and then drive 25 min back and go out with my family. Um No I would like to spend sometime with DD as well.

I also don't dare to post anything on facebook, or that causes a huge blow up. My mom and sisters had to block her from seeing updates because it caused problems.

Wow .....sorry I totally just vented in your post.