s/o will discussion

Soon2BMrsWiley

So the part of the will where we designate the guardian of the children is not going well! DH and I have VERY different opinions.  Anyone willing to share how they came to a decision?

hamillm

We have not had said discussion because I am VERY sure we will have different opinions.  I'm curious to see how it went for others as well.

kc0721

I'll be interested to see how others have decided on this too.

I never thought about making a will b/c both of our parents are still alive (I know, weird way to think about things) so I assumed that if something happened to dh and myself that they would just "work it out".  However, having to deal with all of my dad's issues and him not having a will, I'm seriously going to get one made up now. I'm definitely not leaving the "work it out" burdens for others, after what I've been through.

Leelee06

We haven't discussed this yet but need to.  I'm not sure what he's going to say, but I have a feeling he won't want to designate his parents.  I would want my mom to be guardian, but would hate for her to "start all over".  She'd be the best person, though.

aubie96

We haven't gotten that far, but I'm sure DH would agree that it would either be my mom or sister b/c his parents are older and his brother already has 2 kids (and she daycares others at their house) and his sister is still single.  That's my guess but who knows, I could be wrong in my guess.

crollin

We have not had that discussion yet.  We talked about it a little about 2 years ago but did not come to a conclusion. 

MrsAO

We haven't really either. I think it will be a difficult discussion.

uagirl

We'ev pretty much made a decision about this.  His parents are out because his mom smokes and SMIL would not be very accomodating about having a child.  My parents are out because SM is disabled and SD has health problems.  Two of his sisters are out.  One is still in college, the other is just starting over as a single mom.  My brother is out because at 24, he's still too busy drinking and partying to be responsible. 

We ended up deciding on DH's oldest sister.  She lives in Enterprise, has 2 boys, and is very active and involved with her kids. 

MrsJRT

It was an easy decision for us.  On 'paper' it designates my brother and sister in law...they have been married for a while, are stable financially and love Robinson.  Obviously, and they agree, if anything were to happen to us in the next few years, my parents would probably do most of everything, however, we didn't legally put them down b/c of the age thing, etc.

DH's family is very hands off with us and Robinson- and we got to know who really made an effort and cared while Robinson was in the NICU....it made the decision much easier for us.

star21gazer

We haven't had this discussion yet either...I don't know if our opinions would differ or not but I suspect that it might be a small possibility. But who knows he might think the same things.

In my eyes his parents are out because there are trust issues with his mother and they smoke.  His brother is out because he is only 21 and still in college and is still supported by his parents. 

The logical thing to me would be my parents, and if for some reason they couldn't then my brother and sister in law.  They are financially stable, have a 4 year old and are very well settled and would do great with raising Aubrey.  

This is something we really need to discuss and soon.  

MissLMS

It took DH and I a couple years of discussing even before K was born to finally come to an agreement about this.

His parents are out because they are in their 60's and I do not want to risk DD being moved again if something happened to them if they had custody. Same reason for my parents. I also don't want them to be burdoned with raising a child in their retirement. DH originally wanted his brother and SIL to be named guardians in case anything happened to us (we are named guardians in their wills for their two kids.) But, when it came down to it, I'm not super close to SIL and I don't think she would raise DD the way we would.

My sister and her H, on the other hand, are younger and not as stable, but I know they already love DD and would raise her as their own.

Our final compromise: If anything were to happen to us, DD would go to my sister. But, DH's older brother, who is very financially responsible, will have control of our estate and DD's financial future.

SeasideBride06

It was an easy decision for us.  My mom keeps DD everyday, and she knows her better than anyone except DH and me.  My parents have been married a long time and are financially stable.  DH's parents are divorced and not financially stable.  There was really no discussion...just obvious.