I feel like a bad mom...

mnmplusthree

So the boys are 2 weeks old now. I have been at home with them every day. I have only been away from them for at tops 2 hrs since they were born. The other day, one of the boys were crying and DH said, "Oh its Jonah" I had no clue. I don't know who is crying! DH gets it right every time. I feel like I am not in tune with my babies as much as he is! Does anyone else feel this way? Am I being stupid? I feel that I am not being a good mom because I don't know which is crying. Thanks for listening.

sfitz0711

You are exhausted.  It's only been 2 weeks.  It took me over a month to figure it out.  It's been 4 months and I still get it wrong sometimes.  Don't worry, it'll come to you.  Don't beat yourself up over it!

lgurian

i am still guessing every time they sound the same. 

Temp6313048411121614

It took me several weeks to know their individual cries (and still don't know which cry means what), and I still don't always know.  Even if you never are able to tell the difference between the two, you're still a wonderful mom.  I never was able to tell the difference between DS1's cries (except his pain cry, that was much different than all of the others), I thought that made me a bad mom, but you know what, I'm a d@mn good mom, there are so many things that go into being a mom, missing 1 thing doesn't undo all of the good you do.  GL.

keg

When mine were that little, there was no way I could figure out who was who.  It took me probably a couple months to figure that out (and it was more the volume of the cries vs what they sounded like!) 

GoalieWife

Don't feel bad....I could tell the difference, But I never was able to tell what their different cries meant, but my DH did! He'd always be like oh he needs to burp or he needs to be changed....I was like what?! how do you know!?

macchiatto

My H and I were the opposite in terms of being able to recognize the babies' cries and voices, BUT I did feel at times in the first month or two that he was more in tune with the babies than I was. He did quite a bit of the infant care the first 72 hrs or so while I was recovering from an induction (and pregnancy!) that was really hard on my body, and I definitely had a case of the baby blues. I didn't instantly bond with the babies either ... and he did. We would take shifts at first and things seemed to go so much more smoothly on his shifts!
But then I had to remind myself that not only was I dealing with a rough physical recovery and wildly fluctuating hormones, but also the stress of trying to BF, which he obviously didn't have to worry about. So I tried not to read anything into that or get down on myself about not being a good mom. ((((HUGS)))) and hang in there. You need some time to recover in every sense, but you'll hit your stride.

kelliwill

I can't always tell my girls apart and it's been 6 weeks!  Don't beat yourself up!!

angelnscrubs7

It will get easier. You're drained from lack of sleep and trying to take care of 2 newborns. I was the same way, I couldn't tell them apart at first. Now they have their own cries, 1 is more high pitched than his brother, and still 5 months later, sometimes I have a hard time telling which cry is for what...hunger, wet, tired.....you will get it, you're not a bad mom!