Vent: SO sick of my MIL

star678

Sorry in advance for the length.

DH and I have decided we have the room in our home and love in our hearts for another cat.  We have 2 now.  We live alone in 1800 square feet and have no financial reason not to adopt.  MIL knows my life's purpose at this point is finding homes for homeless pets, so this is something close to my heart and something we do not take lightly.

DH shared his excitement with her today and she proceeded to go on and on about why we shouldn't do this, citing no real reason except, "You just shouldn't.".  He told her "starcrossd and I can do whatever we want, and please realize this is something we have thought out in every capacity." (She has never been asked to care for the cats and does not contribute financially to our household.  She has never even seen our younger cat.)

She has also done this to us about buying a home, going on trips, *everything* involving the wedding (she was totally controlling throughout), and is now saying things like, "you had better not even think about starting a family yet," "I really hope you are not considering getting pregnant,"etc.  She does not know we are trying.  My DH is wonderful about standing up to her and supporting our side of the argument; I have no reservations that I am his #1 priority and not his mom.

I just don't know what to do because I'm afraid that when/ if we announce our pregnancy to her, she will be standoffish, unexcited, and react very poorly.  She has ruined exciting things like this in the past, such as our shower, our engagement party, etc.

Neither one of us know what to do about her negativity and unsolicited advice anymore. 

armandos_girl

I'm sorry.  I know it's hard, but don't let her get to you.  You have to live your own life with your DH, and if she doesn't like it, tough.

BabyBlank

Have the mantra that "It is what it is..." and you can't change her. She will always be negative...just don't let her bring you both down in the meantime. I'm so glad your DH stands up to her. GL!!!

Tuesday*Night

 I agree with armandos_girl.  I say let her live in her own negative world. Accept her as she is and move on... me and DH have had similar situations and we just let 'em 
b!tch and moan about whatever they wanted and not let it phase us. (I know its hard to do though....)

Tuesday*Night

Sidenote: I have no idea why that post came out bold.

TimeForAnotherBaby

thats just crazy...is she so bored in her own life that she has to but into yours about something as mundane as a cat?  Next thing you know she will be trying to chose your wallpaper.

My MIL advice is the same I use EVERYDAY with my own MIL. And I learned this early on in our relationship, although I have been perfecting it for 11 years...

I KILL my MIL with kindness everytime.  Whenever I want to do something and I bring up a subject with her, I force her to twist the conversation in a way that makes her agree with me, then I proceed to thank her profusely for the wonderful idea.  BUT RULE #1, top priority...never let her see you upset, always smile and thank her and hug her.  Cause if she is one of those woman who thrives on pissing you off, you will be taking away her satisfaction by not giving her what she wants.

Good Luck.

XXXXX222

Starcrossd, that stinks. PPs are right, live your life the way you want even though it's hard not to care what she thinks. Tuesday Night, your post was bold because you copied/pasted Armando's Girl's screenname.