Babies on the Brain


Maybe I am wrong to be pissed off about this, My son is eight years old, and 8 years ago when I was pregnant with him I had a boy name and a girl name picked out since we did not know his sex (by choice).  When he was born, I knew I would still use that girl name f I ever got pregnant again and had a girl, I even sat down with SIL and told her that I loved that name, that it was a family name and to please never use it if she had a daughter before me. At the time, SIL wasnt even engaged let alone PG and she happily agreed stating she didn't even like the name anyway.   Eight years later, she is married with a 5 year old daughter and a 3 year old daughter.
She is 21 weeks PG now and she announced at dinner tonight the name she is using and guess what it was....MINE!  I went bullistic!  I said I thought you didn't even like it?  She said she has changed her mind since she now thinks it is very unique and she has never even met one person with it.  What a biotch!  Then she continues to tell me that I don't need it cause I am never gonna have another baby anyway at the "rate I am going".  We had not told anyone in the family that we were TTC cause we wanted it to be a surprise.  My DH was so mad at her that he spilled the beans about that and then we literally got up from the dinner table and left. 
I don't want a huge family arguement about this but I feel like I have been  smacked in the face by SIL. 
Do I have the right to be upset?  Or should I just suck it up and shut my mouth
Am I wrong


  • She's a douche and you need to act like an adult and get the F over it.
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  • I would be annoyed. I guess its a good lesson learned- don't share your baby names!! Is there any chance she will change her mind?
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  • It's super sh!tty that she's using a name that she knew you wanted. But you can't claim a name. Sorry.

    What is the name? We must know.

  • In my opinion, you've already made it known that you still plan on using it and you're upset. If you really like it, use it anyway. She may decide against using it in the end, or you may end up with another boy. :)
  • I would have been very upset about it! Not sure if I would have walked out on dinner, but it would have hurt.
  • I would be super annoyed too!  I would definitely mention it to her, but other than that, there is nothing you can do.  She may not change her mind and you will have to move on with it.  I am sorry though...that totally sucks.
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  • The BOTB ladies do not the "name stealer" posts.  Name your kid that anyway.  You don't even know if you're having a daughter ever.
    Also, it's ballistic, not bullistic.

  • I say lesson learn, Dont tell her things, she oviously is doing it to annoy you. Yes she may like it, but I can bet she probably wouldnt have thought about that name if you never said anything.

    Can we know the name?

  • She was definitely out of line with her comment she made, and it's not cool that she's using the name after agreeing not to.  But I think you're going to have to just let it go, now that you've made your feelings known.
  • The name is "Piper" It was my grandmother's first name, she died 10 days before DS was born, she practically raised me cause my mom was a drug addict when she was in her 20's and wouldn't come home for months at a time.  She was soooo important to me.  To my SIL it's just a name.
    She really IS a douche.

    DH says that if we do get a girl, to name her that anyway, he says when people ask why the two have the same name to tell them all what a cun* his sister is.
  • Sounds like a plan! Now that you told us why the name is so important to you, I understand a little better.
  • It oviously has meaning to you, can you sit down and talk to her again about it? Otherwise if you have a girl I say go for that name, who cares
  • I would have been pissed. I have a daughter named Carys and I told my SIL that when I have a boy I like the name Joshua and I also like the name Ryan. So guess what? She got pregnant a few months after I had my daughter with a little girl and named her Ryan! I guess I don't have claim over a name, thats true, but still, in my opinion if you tell someone that you like a certain name for your next baby, they should keep that in mind, obviously your SIL did. Be upset, sure, I guess you will have to get over it if she doesn't change her name. I guess I'll have to come up with a new name if we ever have a second boy. Or a first.... but anyway, shes a ***.
  • It's a cute name, but I think you're being a little childish and rediculous. I mean it's just a name. To hate her for it, and leave dinner over it. And even if you do end up using the name, going around telling people what a "cun*t" your SIL is sounds very immature. JMHO.
  • Oh yeah, she's definitely being a total cvnt about it. Although at 21 weeks pg, she has plenty of time to change her mind.

    Throw some other names at her that you "plan on using" maybe she'll steal one of those and Piper will be yours again.

  • fireman - did you not see why it was so important to her?  I would have been totally pissed and would have wanted to leave too (DH probably wouldn't have supported me because sometimes he has no balls).

    Definitely talk to her - let her know how important it is to you and how f'd up it is that she would use that name after you asked her not to.  She probably won't change her mind, but you can still name your daughter Piper anyways.
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  • I totally see why it's important to her, and it is an adorable name. But name-calling  her SIL to people when asking why there are 2 Pipers...that's a little much IMO.

    DH has such a large family, and there are so many kids that eventually I'm sure 2 cousins will be named the same name. It's not the end of the world.

  • I kind of agree with firemanswife on this one.  It is a very immature thing to do...
  • regardless of whether or not it's appropriate or childish to get upset over the "name stealing" (which would probably annoy me, but not enough to leave dinner early), her comment was way out of line, esp. considering you're TTC.

    for that reason alone, I'd be very pissed.

  • DH says that if we do get a girl, to name her that anyway, he says when people ask why the two have the same name to tell them all what a cun* his sister is.

    Do it! Do it! (Seriously, though, if I were you I would still use that name if I ever had a girl. It's your grandmother and it's special to you.)
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