Not new to PPD but new to the board. Hi...(Long)

noah-bear

Where to start.

DH is nearly 13 months old, and things aren't getting much better. Once he started sleeping better at night, my anger got a lot easier to handle. I was happier and played and was more involved with him.

I had a m/c Christmas Eve and while I'm not angry anymore, I'm never happy when I'm alone.

I'm great when I'm with DS adn DH, I'm ok around family and friends. As soon as I'm completely alone (nap time or out on errands alone) I'm miserable. I feel like breaking down crying.

I haven't been on meds at all, I know I probably should be, but I had horrid reactions to antidepressants several years ago. Back-story, I was diagnosed as depressed at 6yrs old because my bio-dad was sent to prison for well, not being a good father to me, and mom and I moved a few times, in and out of different schools and it just wasn't good.

Is it possible to fight this without meds? We're going to start TTCAL in March and I am terrified that this will get worse after having the next one.

Also, I believe DS being in the NICU and having a bad birth experience also contributed to my PPD.

Sorry this was so long. Thanks if you read it all the way and I totally understand if you didnt! 

itsspykitty

Hi there! I am new to this board as well. Obviously I'm not a Dr so can't tell you about meds vs non meds but I do know that therapy has done wonders for me in the past and I know a lot of people that choose that route for treatment. 

Could you be having some identity issues? Since this is happening when you are alone could it be you feel like you've lost a piece of yourself? Personally- my issues were that I always wanted to be alone and never around DH or DD so I don't know what you're going through. 

Joining a gym, moms club, book club- anything really helped me feel like myself and find an identity. 

GL! 

*speedracer*

a lot of people suggest exercise to go with or instead of meds.  it's hard with it being winter for a lot of people, esp moms, to get out and move around.  i'd say if you can swing it, try bundling up and taking a daily walk or two or sign up for a yoga class or something like that.  i joined my local YMCA because they had a child care center so DS could go while i went to some classes once or twice a week.  While the meds took the edge off the anxiety for me, i felt like the talk therapy and support groups i went to helped the most.