XP-Anxiety and PPD...and ignoring it.
I am not new to motherhood, my DD is 4 months old, but I have three older children. Maybe because in my mind I considered myself "experienced", I tried to ignore all of these blaring signs. I had NO idea that anxiety and PPD could be related, and I am healthcare for god sakes.
This issue has suddenly peaked to the point where my DH had to make me aware of it! What is wrong with me, how could I miss this. I can't sleep for more than an hour or so, my heart is racing, nothing is perfect enough. My DH asked me why I cry every time I laugh
.
I think this is beyond getting a little time for myself, etc. I have made an appointment and hope to get some help. Its such a weird feeling, of weakness and failure. I realize that is not the case, but that is EXACTLY what it feels like. Today, mostly, I am pissed that as a women this is yet another thing we have to deal with. There is such beauty in being female, but geez the load we carry. Men.have.it.easy.
Re: XP-Anxiety and PPD...and ignoring it.
You are so lucky your DH was looking out for you! I hope your appointment goes well for you. Needing help is NOT being a failure!!
Men... may have a different burden... but I don't know that it's easier.
Good for you that you're going to see someone! I ignored it too, until I had yet another panic attack (after 6 + months of anxiety + panic), this one leaving me lying on the floor with my legs & arms numb. Um, why did I let it get that far? Probably because I didn't want to acknowledge what was going on or that I needed help. This was 8 months ago. I started therapy and medication. I have successfully tapered off one med & am halfway through tapering off the other. I plan on continuing therapy indefinitely.
I feel like a stronger woman now for having gone through what I did. I have more compassion and understanding & waaaaayyyyyyyy more self-awareness & acceptance. I now consider it a blessing & hope that I can pass on to my daughter the idea that accepting help does NOT = weakness and that persevering through adversity with acceptance and humility only makes you a better person.
Good luck!