Vent: My mother...

aknjcp

Okay, so I don't really like to get super personal, but I am really upset... And would like some other takes on the situation.My parents recently split up. Their divorce will be finalized soon. Basically, my mom cheated on my dad - for the second time. She is always saying how upset she is that he won't forgive her. In her words, it was a stupid, drunken mistake. Well, their anniversary would have been 6/1. My due date is 6/2. She is so upset about that that she seems barely excited about her soon to be second grandchild. She has even vocalized that I really should get induced the end of May - so that the baby doesn't wind up being born on 6/1. She said that would be way to painful for her to endure.  Induced - for that?! That comment really pissed me off. I feel that the only reason I would opt for induction in my 38th or 39th week is for the baby's or my own health. Not to avoid a specific birthday. Now, the other reason I am upset... My mom is SOO upset about my dad's decision to divorce her, yet, not even 2 months after their separation, she got involved with a serious boyfriend. She spends more time with him and his young kids then she does with me and her grandchild. She constantly blows us off.  Yes, her boyfriend has young kids - he is 31 - 2 years older than me.How would you guys feel? What would you do? I feel like I can't talk to her anymore about this... My feelings would definitely get in the way of communicating effectively. I'd probably only put her on the defensive. 

ppants

I'm sorry you're going through this.  Maybe you should talk to a professional especially if talking to your mom isn't an option.  Sounds like her life is a mess right now.  I would be super jealous with all the time she's spending with her new boyfriend and his kids instead of me and my kids.  I hope things get better for you and your family.

emilykristene2006

I'll tell you like I told my DH.

Your mom loved you no matter what stupid decisions you made growing up. I'm sure it's difficult, but try to except it for what it is. Tell her you don't agree with what she has done, but you love her. 

You cannot make her spend time with you and the kids. You can only accept that this will be your new normal with your mom. Sucks, but accepting it will help you.

As far as the induction- she's a little self-centered to think this is even an option. Tell her you are not worried about her feelings on the day of your child's birth- only his/her health. Tell her it's not an option. End of story. No more discussion.

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry you have to deal with this crap during your pregnancy.

DandelionMom

It sounds like she's going through a self absorbed time right now.  I'd probably find a way to distance myself from her (at least mentally) until she snaps out of it.  Try not to let her hurt you.  Maybe finding someone (even a therapist) to talk to will help.  (((hugs)))