If you have 3 or more children

docmay25

I am interested in getting opinions on how it was when the third dc was born, if your first 2 were close.

Jack and Emelia are 19 months apart.  Jack has no memory of Emelia never being there.  They are the best of friends, adore each other.  If/when we have another Emelia will probably be 4 and Jack 6.  That is a long time that it has been just them.

I am afraid it will be the 2 of them so close to each other and the new baby on its own.  I am afriad that the new baby won't have a close relationship with them because of the age difference.

can someone give me opinions, experiences on this?

#6

Solution: Have #4 when #3 is 19months old. 

JK.  We are in the same boat....sort of.  We are abou 80% sure we want another baby when Dh gets through school and gets a job.  These 3 are only 1 yr 11 days apart and are basically like triplets.  At almost 5 and almost 4 they will be at least 7-8 yrs apart.  But we arent that worried about it.  Im just hoping that #4 isnt twins again.  Twins are great but not 2 sets to make 5kids. 

Anyways.  Dont worry about it.  I think people really over think the age difference thing.  I know of people who have older siblings and younger siblings that they dont like/get along with better etc and age isnt really the factor. 

My sister is 2.5yrs older than me and my bro is only 18month yonger than me.  I was always closer to my brother.  Not because of age but because of what we liked to do.  We just had more in common growing up.  Then in high school my sis and bro were closer because they were both very smart and would study together and talked alot about college together.  But as a whole we were all 3 pretty close. 

penguingrrl

That sounds like my family.  My sister and I are 17 months apart and my brother is 7 years younger than my sister, 5.5 years younger than me.  My sister and he have always been very close, but he and I had issues growing up.  Now as adults we're all very close.  If we have a third we'd like to TTC when Emma turns two, but part of that is based on my OBs advice based on my history of high blood pressure and pre eclampsia.

jettagurl

I'm not sure it applies much because we got #3 and #4 together, so they'll always have each other.  #1 and #2 are 19 mos apart, and #2 and #3/4 are 21 mos apart.  Our ideal  age gap was 2-2.5 yrs (and what we were attempting with #2....it took us a year to get pg the first time - m/c, then 3 mos to get pg with DS....then pg with DD on the first try).  My bro and I are 2.5 yrs apart and are great friends; DH is in the middle....sister 7 yrs older and bro 7 yrs younger....and the three of them are awful...2 are always talking about the 3rd, excluding one, etc.  So, we knew we'd probably go for #4 once we decided to have #3.  

Currently, my older DS/DD are very helpful and DD is almost smothering towards the babies.  DS (who was 3.5 when the twins were born) most of the time could really care less.  He'll hold one, but only for 5 secs....he's got better things to do.  I think a 3-4 yr old is just too interested in other things to really care about a baby.   

Sorry none of that really helps..just my situation.   

Halo79RN

my brothers are 5 and 7 years older than me. they were super close growing up. I remember being fairly close to them... however when they hit the tween/teen years, forgetaboutit... we're still not all that close. but that's b/c my brothers were wackadoo teens... they got into so much trouble! my word! I've always said that if we have another down the line, we'll have to plan on having 2 more... just b/c I never really had that tight relationship with a sibling... my bff was my sister. dh is the same way... 5 year gaps between each of them... so his sister is 10yrs older, brother 5yrs older. he was close to them while growing up... then fizzled out as they became adults and even now, we enjoy the time with them, but he's not inclined to call and shoot the breeze. however bff was the opposite. her sister was 6 years older.... they were not close as kids, but are close as adults. ? different for each family. I would guess at this age, the kids would want to be helpful and "momma" a new baby... when they are older things change... personalities collide... this happens no matter the age difference. ? when the older child/children become teens, they want to do teen things... the younger child gets left behind. 

we wanted 4... but I had pree twice... I'm done.  if we were to have another, I'd want 2 more close in age.  but that's not gonna happen.  my first pg was scary. 

 

I will add... I remember just wanting another sibling so badly as a kid.  I saw my brothers close and I didn't have that ... then too, many of the kids in the neighborhood were my brothers ages.  so I was left behind. I went to a private school...so my friends did not live in my neighborhood... we were all spread out.  so that makes a difference too. maybe if my bff lived down the road, I may have felt differently.

shopgirl78

mine are all 2 yrs apart

there were 15 mos btwn me and my first brother and our other brother was 3 years younger than my first brother.  my first brother and i were close during childhood but as time went on they got closer...

Chrisy-Wyobride

Mine are all about 2.25yrs apart.  We will see how it works out--to early to say now.  I have 4 siblings & I am closest with my sister who is 6yrs younger than me & the furthest in age of all of the to me.

shouldbworkin

Well, I'm one of 3 where the 3rd was born much later than the first 2.  My older sister and I are 3.5 yrs apart and my younger sister is 6.5 years younger than me (10 years younger than #1!).  #1 and #3 always got along great growing up and #3 was not left out because #1 and #2 were closer in age.  My older sister and I went through phases where we didn't like each other, so it was good to have another sibling around to take the focus off of that.  Now we're all very close.

jorie

My first 2 are 18 months apart and my DD3 is 2.5 years apart from DD2.  I can tell you only what I would do if I had 2 kids very close in age and then a big age gap in between the 2nd and 3rd.  I would have a 4th.  I'd do 2 under 2 a second time around.  I would love to be doing that now...I love the 18-month age gap...but it's not going to happen b/c I"d have to be pg NOW and we're really not even discussing a 4th at this point.

My brother and I are 15 months apart, and then my younger brother came around 5 years later.  My mom always says she wishes she'd had a 4th baby close in age to my brother so he had a playmate/friend the way that me and my older brother did.