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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Spanking is a perfectly fine form of discipline as long as it's not over done, there's logic and you
Here it is..
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Spanking is a perfectly fine form of discipline as long as it's not over done, there's logic and you
Seriously this is what is wrong with society. I know tons of women who spank their children and guess what? You would never see their kids throw a fit at a store, get into stuff over and over again or tell their kid twice, "no."
You think that spanking your child is out of the question. That mommy is hitting the child out of anger or no patience.. It has nothing to do with anger or having no patience. I never spank my daughter in anger. I never hurt her when I do either. It's a form of discipline. There is a time and a place for everything.
Have you not read in the Bible "Spare the rod, spoil the child." It is true. If you do not teach your child right from wrong and let them know that their are consequences, your child will walk all over you. PERIOD.
My grandparents spanked my parents and by two they picked up their toys, they did not throw tantrums, they did not ask them multiple times to stay out of something. They said it once and that was it. I am not so strict but in doing this you do see results faster and more efficiently.
Since when do mom's sit there and say "No, baby. Don't get into that." Continue to REDIRECT them over and over again.. Mom's who think that terrible two's is a normal behavior, that's who. A child learns how to walk, talk, somewhat comprehend and developes most of their brain skills in the first year and you're telling me they can't understand "NO" or how to stay out of something at 17 months? If you start early and believe and know that your child DOES in fact understand then you don't go through the terrible two's.
In the past week and half my daughter has been wonderful. I tell her once maybe twice and that's it. She listens 80 percent of the time and the rest she is what you guys call "NORMAL BEHAVIOR" She has not gotten one spanken in the last week and a half. If I have to ask her multiple times not to do something I say "Do you want a spankin?" she replies "no" and I tell her "Ok, what did mommy tell you?" and she puts up what she's messing with or comes to me.
It called results. I am not afraid to discipline her when needed.Because you think that spanking, hitting, beating my child (as you call it) is so wrong then how come all of us or the generation before us listened so much sooner and better than our children? BECAUSE THEY WEREN"T AFRAID TO SPANK US.
Think what you want. I don't care. I know I am not hurting my daughter. She is attached at my hip. She's not afraid of me. Very loving in fact. I am her mom and with that comes a lot of pain and hard decisions that she won't like. I am her mom, not her friend. It is my job to make sure she turns out the best and that I teach her how to be a younge lady. I am not afraid of what you or anyone else thinks because I know that normal discipline is correcting and spanking your child. You ppl are just nuts.
End of convo.
This drama is so played out and boring. No one cares anymore but you. If you want to keep hitting your kid, you will. And if we want to sit here and judge you for it, and think you're lazy and uninformed, we will.
The only person perpetuating the argument here is you.
So, I'm causing drama because you guys sit there and state your beliefs and reasoning for being against it and I state mine? Do you know that there are millions of mom's who think your arguements are completely wrong as you guys do mine.
I have figured out why there are not any moms on here to back me up on this. Mom's like me do not read books, get on the internet or go to parenting classes to raise our kids. All the more reason why I am staying off the forum. Mothers like me are not ill informed. We just have common sense and don't need to sit on a chatline and read books AND LIVE BY THEM to know how to be a mom. It comes naturally.
Spanking has been the number one form of discipline for 10000 of years and this chatline is not going to change that.
The only reason why I even continue this arguement is because when I believe in something, I stand by it. You nor anyone else on this is going to alter that.
Judge away.. That's perfectly fine. Have you ever heard "God is the only one who can judge me." No, obviously not because you haven't heard "Spare the rod spoil the child" either. For all you who live by your parenting books maybe you should pick up the one that means the most. The Bible.
I was really nice to you the first time... but I am generally nice. However, I am over it. You are hitting your kid because you can't seem to handle her. Your earlier (and subsequently deleted) post stated you had 50 people around, reading our suggestions and laughing because your child is some special snowflake and is clearly more mischievous, spirited and disastrous than ALL of our children. Yeah, I don't buy that. I don't buy the 50 people, I don't buy that your kid is so different. You just didn't know parenting was such hard work. Kids are into EVERYTHING, that's why the babyproofing business is booming!
Although, I also think you are either an AE and you are lying and this is sad pathetic mud, or you haven't a clue what parenting is all about, after reading something else you posted, so I don't want to waste any more time offering suggestions for you. Oh, and you claim in this post, your little angel has been great for a week and a half, however you posted your pleasehelpme thread on 1/19/10, which is, oh just a mere 6 days ago.... in case you are having trouble with the math, that is several days short of a week and 1/2... just sayin'
ETA: ok, so I was feeling bad and decided to actually read your thread... and now i am just pissed off.
I am just going to say this, show me where in bible it says that you should hit your BABY's hand til it is red, which you said you did in your original post....
What you are doing is teaching her that it is ok to hit someone smaller, and that when you get mad, hitting is ok. What you post has told me is that you are hiding behind a thin veil of Christianity, however you are not acting even remotely Christ-like.
and with that, I am done. See, I am one of the nicest people here, and when you make me mad, you have clearly gone too far.
I don't know your entire back story..and am at the moment too tired to go look through posts to find the story...but I do not agree with you saying that children that are spanked are more well behaved (in stores, out and about, etc.)
I have a friend back in my old hometown who spanks her children, and they are nothing but rude and mean back to her. They are only 2 and 4, but they already hit each other and hit their parents when they're being disciplined. She started to spank her children when they were only a year old-and now it's really come back to bite her in the butt.
As long as children know that you are their parent and are to be respected and do well with redirecting and being spoken to, spanking doesn't seem like the answer to me.
LOL. I have been a mother longer than you've been able to drive, so thank you for the advice, but I think I've got the hang of it. DS has never once been spanked, and I get compliments on his behavior all the time, he does well in school, and he is happy and healthy.
Also, just for the record, I hope you do get into college, just so you can learn some reading comprehension skills. I have never read a parenting book, although in your case I would certainly recommend it, nor did I say anything to try to change your mind or opinion. I said you would keep doing it, and we would keep judging you and thinking you uninformed.
Your drama sucks.
Girl, you need to step away from the computer. Now.
The more you post, the more I smell MUD. It is starting to reek.
But just in case it isn't.....
Please close up the babymaker (aka: your legs) and quit making babies that you clearly cannot handle.
YWIA!!
I didn't even read your whole post, but I can easily argue this point. The Bible does not say to beat or spank your child. I'm not saying that spanking is wrong in all situations, but you shouldn't spank because the Bible told you to. Not every child needs to be spanked, and it's not what is wrong with this country.
When I think of a rod, I picture a shepherd herding his sheep. I don't picture the shepherd hitting or beating the sheep. The rod just helps guide the sheep. To me, the rod symbolizes guidance... not spanking. How do explain Psalms 23:4? ("Thy rod and staff, they comfort me.")
W (02/2009), N (08/2012), and C (04/2014)
OH and BTW, the dictionary= your friend
Spellcheck= your friend
LMAO at "spankin" or "spanken" !!!
To quote Yuppy : "Please stop speaking. Your IQ is showing."
What an excellent parallel for parenting...
Oh FFS.
Just go away. You asked for opinions and advice and you didn't like what you got, so you've made SEVERAL extremely defensive posts since. You wanted to know what to do with your "disastrous" daughter and didn't want to have to hit her hand harder etc, but you were already spanking. HOW does that mean that spanking is working so well for you? This is not a place that generally finds spanking at all acceptable, something you found out pretty quickly. So GIVE IT UP and go somewhere else if you don't like it.
Get some IRL support--a mom's group or something--and quit being so insecure that you have to CONTINUE to post here.
We get it. You want to beat your kid and like to do it. You feel its the best way to get through to her and obviously solves all life's problems. Go for it. That's your right. It doesn't seem to be working for you and will inevitably cause confusion and mistrust in a BABY but whatevs. Go crazy.
But coming on here and constantly attempting to justify the outrageous behaviour that is hitting a baby is nutso. And will just make the rest of us non beaters a little more secure in knowing that a spanking spokesperson is so out of control nutsy cuckoo.
Jawmin, great reference. It will be lost on this one though. I think she just loves the drama.
ETA: My parents spanked me too. They put the fear of God into me and I was a very submissive child who was terrified of my parents. You may think your daughter is happy, but each time you do that you take away a piece of her dignity and self respect. Growing up in fear of an adult is no way to live.
Not sure why I am bothering because you clearly have your mind made up and think you are correct but you must not be 100% sure of your decision or you wouldn't have to keep coming to an online message board to try to justify your actions...
May 2011 Siggy Challenge
Why do I get the feeling that Crazycakes Braintrust McGee over here is writing this "I beats my kid cuz the Bible says and u people are what's wrong with society" missive in order to avoid such parenting evils as reading, thinking, and developing emotional maturity? It really would be terrible if soceity did more of that. Where would we be without beatings? I mean, HELLO! It's called "Values."
I would like to point out that our society has become increasingly more violent generation after generation. Children are raised to think that the way to get their way is to be violent and to hit. Think about it, when you spank a child - you are usually angry/mad/upset - what does his teach a child? It teaches them that When they are angry/mad/upset that they need to hit something.
Listen, I don't give two shizz about you and what you do but you came here asking for advice. Why not take some of it? Or just stop posting.
She's learned how to spell discipline and use paragraphs in the last week. Maybe she'll learn exactly why hitting such a YOUNG child is wrong.
I'm not anti spanking, but your child is far too young for this. I think if you went back kids weren't behaving out of respect but out of fear. I'd rather my child fear my time outs, but love my touch.
Oh, I think you do.
Oh FFS this is STILL going on? No one is going to agree even though you magically learned how to use paragraphs.
you suck.
end of convo.
Sarah - 12/23/2008
Alex - 9/30/2011
"I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool." - Shirley Manson, Garbage
I dont go on the bump very often, so this is the first time I can respond to this. I completely disagree with you 100%. You have NO idea how much damage you are doing to your child. I am not a judging person and I dont usually respond to posts like this, but I can share from my own person experience and you should know what can happen as a consequence. Right now, you are correct- you are getting results (good behaviour and listening to you) from spanking/hitting your child. The fact that you arent causing your child pain from the hitting is irrelevant.
I came from a very old fashioned household and parenting style. My parents used to spank us too. They wouldnt necessary "hurt" us either. It was a form of discipline and it wasnt abused. They used the method as "correctly" as they could. My parents are the epitome of forgiving, loving, nuturing parents. They come from a good background of solid generations of tight-knit family. They have excellent morals and values. They dont smoke, drink, party, etc. They were wonderful, supportive parents..Even with all this....you have NO idea the damage the "spanking" did to myself and my sibling. Do you know the reason why your method works? They listen out of FEAR. Not out of understanding that they did something wrong. In order for them to link the correct cause and effect, the punishment needs to fit the crime. You are installing so much fear in your child- the damage is going to last deeper and longer than you can imagine.
Personally, growing up, I never thought much of it. i thought all parents did that. When I look back, I realize that I grew up with low self-confidence because of this type of discipline. I did NOT respect myself and I did NOT value myself. The one think my parents did not teach me was self-preservation. Guess what? I ended up having boyfriends that were abusive to me physically and emotionally. It has taken me 30 odd years to finally understand all this and get help that I needed to teach me this.
You may not see what you are doing now, but as your children get older, this physical abusive will rear its ugly face in ways you could not imagine. I dont have time to get into too much details here, but I really hope the message I am trying to get across- helps you. Take time to learn other ways to discipline. I know its harder and more cumbersome, but the best parents teach their children to love themselves. I hope this has helped you see another side of this argument.
thats all i can say. and thats my never-spanked 3 year old. she must be hell on wheels, eh?
i agree with meg. i'm late in this game and although it's a dead horse (and you are clearly going to keep hitting your kid) here's my 2 cents....again.
i have never hit my baby. ever. she also has NEVER thrown a fit in public or at home. if you just hit a kid b/c he/she is freaking out in public you will never know the reason why. most babies aren't just being asssholes, they need something or are tired. it takes quite a bit more patience and to employ behavior techniques and only a split second to hit a child and get an instant reaction. i think most people that hit their kid simply want an instant reaction.
at the end of the day your kid will not respect you, but fear you. that's not the kind of relationship i want with my child. you are uneducated, impatient and clearly have no idea what toddlers of your dc's age are capable of understanding (i.e. children have zero impulse control until 4 or 5...so hitting them doesn't actually do anything).
sigh....you're sad.
I don't want my child to behave because he is afraid of getting hurt. I want my child to behave because I've raised him properly. I don't read parenting books either. I do a lot of research on things but I don't read about how to raise my child. (Interesting fact... did you know that there is a correlation between spanking and sexual disorders? So if your kids has sexual issues when she gets older you can give yourself a nice pat on the back)
It's against my instinct to hurt my babies. Bottom line. If your instinct tells you to hit then maybe you need a new instinct. Plus I'm pretty sure that hitting kids in NWJWD. (Not What Jesus Would Do)
I think that you are an idiot, trash and scum. Please don't post here anymore. Nobody likes you.
oh and i never really thought of this before but the pp made everything click for me.
how on earth can you justify hitting your child and then teach her that it's not okay for boyfriends/husbands to hit her for "doing something wrong"?. explain please? because at this rate she's going to think that any time she does something that someone else doesn't like she gets hit. so when she's an adult do you think all those years of "spankens" are going to just disappear from her psyche.
i actually don't know anyone IRL that spanks and i can assure you my community is not running rampant with heathens and kids disobeying their parents. the kids in my circle of friends respect their parents, the parents respect their children. some are stronger willed than others, but that's the difference in personalities. have fun when your child starts hitting other kids in school when she gets mad - it's bound to happen. or maybe not...she might know the belt's waiting for her at home and be terrified :shutter:
Your drama is old. I don't care what you do with your kid. Just hope I never see you doing it in public. Just like you spank, I say things to stupid people
We all have our quirks, right?
Find something else to biitch and moan about us not liking.
Breleigh & Mason
I'm going to have to go to the place where I tell you that you are trash. Simply trash.
Please go away. None of us are interested in your rantings.
So instead of her knowing why she should or shouldn't do something she does it b/c she's afraid of being hit. Beleive me Im not the "honey please pick up your toys, no? okay then" kind of girl but I will not hit my son. All I have to do is sternly say NO to DS and he stops doing what he's doing. Sometimes it takes some re-direction, sometimes it takes explanation,(you will get an owie) and sometimes it takes a time out. I don't want my kid making right and wrong decisions out of fear. The alternative to spanking can actually take more work and dilegence but it's worth it. The people that can't take that time/energy are the ones that let their kids run wild or that spank their LO's. That's my opinion. End of convo.
THIS! THIS! THIS!
I know I shouldn't fall into this because it's either MUD or you're such a moron that none of what we're saying will process.
If you believe that literally in the bible, then I fully expect you to own a slave, tithe (yes that means giving away your money to the church), and not own any shirts with two different kinds of thread.