3 year old learning a lesson. And a dilemma.

SumnerBride

So, I'm always telling Ashlyn that if she's going to bring a toy to the store, she needs to keep track of it.  I tell her that if she loses it, she won't get a new one.  She's always great about holding it, or if she wants to put it down, she'll set it in the cart or whatever.

We were just at Target.  She didn't get a nap today and was generally not being her self.  She started FA-REAKING out because she didn't have her horse.  She brought a little toy horse into Target, and left without it.  I get her into the car, and she's bawling.  It's a horse that goes with some princess stuff, and she plays with it all the time.

After she calmed down at home, I explain to her that that's why we have to be responsible for our things-so they don't get lost.  She started bawling again "MY HORSE.....OH MOMMY, I MISS MY HORSE!!!!"

I feel awful for her because I know how much she loves it.  And I feel partially responsible for not keeping a better eye on it too. 

So, do I get her a new one, or let this be a hard lesson for a 3 year old?

 

*Amy*

That is a tough one.  Could you call the store and maybe see if they found it?

AnnapolisLari

Hard lesson.

DS had to learn something similar recently, and let me tell you, he is totally aware of where his stuff is now.

soontobemomma

I would, but I don't let DD bring stuff into stores for that reason.  I tell her "we might lose xxx and then you would be sad, so lets leave it in the car."

 Not trying to flame in any way... but I think a lot of times we expect too much out of 3 year olds, (myself included,) so I would get her another, and then remind her why she can't bring stuff like that into the store.   

SumnerBride

*Amy*:

That is a tough one.  Could you call the store and maybe see if they found it?

I told her I'd call in the morning, in the hopes that they would find it tonight while cleaning up after closing.  I'm not sure if they hold onto stuff like that though.

kevschickee2

It will be tough but I would not get her a new one.  You told her she had to watch it and she didn't

Temp108743750006959

I think by going home without the horse (which I understand), plus her upset, is likely fit punishment.

if the store has the horse, I'd pick it up. then i'd have a talk a with her about some things she can do to keep track of the horse (a coat with a pocket, your purse)

if the horse is gone, I'd have her earn it back. Like go to the store with you and bring a toy. if she keeps track of it, thenshe can earn a new horse.

I know, it breaks your heart, right?

JOEBunny

I have gotten a new one.  DD has only lost a couple of things.  A small plastic worm and 2 different little ponies, one regular my little pony, one small one.  I bought her a new one of the regular pony, but not of the worm or the small pony.  The small pony was later found in the neighbors garden, and she still morns the worm every time we go to the playground where she lost it. 

If she loses things all the time, I guess I would teach a lesson, but if it was an important toy and she normally is very good about it, then I would get her a new one.

GrowingFamily

I think that, rather than expecting her to keep track of things in a store at such a young age, you should not allow toys (or anything for that matter) to be brought into a store. This is the rule that I have implemented with all of my kids- even the baby.  Makes life MUCH easier.

SumnerBride

vccake:

I think by going home without the horse (which I understand), plus her upset, is likely fit punishment.

if the store has the horse, I'd pick it up. then i'd have a talk a with her about some things she can do to keep track of the horse (a coat with a pocket, your purse)

if the horse is gone, I'd have her earn it back. Like go to the store with you and bring a toy. if she keeps track of it, thenshe can earn a new horse.

I know, it breaks your heart, right?

Great idea about earning it back!  I think I'll have to try this.  Thanks!

*Amy*

I might call tonight b/c they otherwise might toss something like that.  It is a hard lesson, but probably best not to replace. 

MelandJeff

Lesson learned. And, she can earn a new one by following rules and picking up her toys for the week, etc

penguingrrl

I would replace it but tell her that someone at the store found it and was nice enough to return it so she doesn't think she can lose something and just have you buy her a  new one.

stillhoping

First the store is either going to toss it or place it in damaged goods thinking that it is an open package and send it back to their central warehouse.

 

I think that making her leave the store without the horse and going to bed without it is punishment enough. I would take her back to the store give her a five or ten dollar bill and tell her that we could purchase a new horse but she has to keep up with it because we will not get another one. Let her pick it out, let her pay for it, let her carry the bag out. etc..

*Amy*

penguingrrl:

I would replace it but tell her that someone at the store found it and was nice enough to return it so she doesn't think she can lose something and just have you buy her a  new one.

 

I think this is a great  idea. 

Aliliv

Replace it, but as a reward.    Sounds like she learned the lesson (she may not retain it, though - she is 3 after all) and I'm not sure there'd be any point in prolonging the lesson.

omurray

Ugh, that is so tough!  I think maybe I'd buy her a new one for Valentines Day. 

goodheartedmommy

I think it depends. Is it something that's super-special to her, or just the toy of the day? I wouldn't be able to replace Ethan's super special toys, but I would search the earth high and low if he lost one of them. If it's just a random toy, I would not buy a new one. I would call Target and see if they have it. In the end, I know how frustrating it is for her, too. I hate losing things, and I know I've done it as an adult, and it's a nice treat if you call and someone has found it and turned it in.

BubblyToes

*Amy*:

penguingrrl:

I would replace it but tell her that someone at the store found it and was nice enough to return it so she doesn't think she can lose something and just have you buy her a  new one.

 

I think this is a great  idea. 

I like this idea.

baby*love

penguingrrl:

I would replace it but tell her that someone at the store found it and was nice enough to return it so she doesn't think she can lose something and just have you buy her a  new one.

this exactly.

If it was just a run of the mill toy she had no special attachment to that I think it would be a fine learning point. The fact that she especially loves this horse and yes, she is only 3 - still learning how to take care of her things I think it's fine to replace and tell her it was found. GL!

black.kat

I am not going to even look at the other replies.  I would #1 call and see if I could find it and if not, then #2 I would buy her a new one since it is a favorite toy.

My heart aches when this has happened to my DD and it wasn't a lesson sort of thing... she just lost something she loved.  I think your child has learned the lesson of making sure you hold onto your stuff - buy her a new one and remind her about how scary to was to lose her favorite toy....

That is IMO... good luck....

nictel

You should definitely buy her a new one.  Have you ever lost anything?  Keys?  A cellphone?  A pair of gloves?  You're an adult, and I bet you've lost a belonging before.  It happens.  People lose things, regardless of how responsible they are.  Kids definitely lose things.  Cut her a break.  Some kids (and adults) lose things easily.  It's going to be a long road if you're already punishing her for losing things at 3 years old.

Sorry if I sound angry.  I was a kid with ADD who lost things all the time, no matter how hard I tried to keep track of them, and was punished.  It was tough.

Zenya

nictel:

You should definitely buy her a new one.  Have you ever lost anything?  Keys?  A cellphone?  A pair of gloves?  You're an adult, and I bet you've lost a belonging before.  It happens.  People lose things, regardless of how responsible they are.  Kids definitely lose things.  Cut her a break.  Some kids (and adults) lose things easily.  It's going to be a long road if you're already punishing her for losing things at 3 years old.

agree